Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/438284
DECEMBER 24-30, 2014 UCW 19 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS You Delete Me I'm trying to get over my ex, but I'm constantly checking his Twitter and Face- book pages, and I get really upset. I'll see pix of women or see that he's gone to some event and wonder whether he met anyone there. It's crazy-making, but I can't seem to stop looking. — Unhinged Unless intelligence tests have revealed you to have an IQ rivaling that of Jell-O, engaging in this misery-making behavior because you, like the rest of us, are prone to fall into automatic strings of behav- ior we call habits. In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg explains that "a habit is a choice we deliberately make at some point, and then stop thinking about, but continue doing." Research finds that every habit has three components, which Duhigg calls the CUE (a feeling that triggers behavior), the ROUTINE (the behavior itself), and the REWARD (some sort of payoff that tells your brain, "Oh, yeah, let's totally do that again"). You're prob- ably picturing yourself at 80, with an elderly monkey on your back, still franti- cally checking Facebook for signs your ex-boyfriend's shifted position in the last 30 seconds. But Duhigg emphasizes that you can break a habit. You do this by swapping out the middle step, the routine (compul- sively clicking into your ex's social media accounts). To understand what to replace it with, check in with yourself at the moment the urge strikes and figure out the "why" — what reward you're going after, what need you're trying to fill. Maybe you're going for a hit of intensity. Intense feelings are called "arousal" in psychology and can be positive or negative. Either leads to feeling stimu- lated and alive (though sometimes alive and pretty miserable). Next, you need a plan — a substitute routine to slip in whenever the impulse to cyber-stalk him strikes. This replace- ment routine is especially important because a "negative goal" — not doing something — is way harder than doing something different. So, if it's connection you're longing for, call a friend or go im- pede a co-worker's productivity. If you're an intensity junkie, watch a clip from a slasher movie or maybe rappel to your car instead of taking the elevator. Be prepared for temptation to gnaw at you, especially if you're tired or hungry (when willpower is at its wimpiest). Make it harder for yourself to cheat by mailing your phone to a faraway friend and bury- ing your modem in the backyard — or at least blocking the guy on social media and maybe installing a program on your computer like Freedom (macfreedom. com), which prevents you from getting on the Internet. When the going gets tough, remind yourself that time heals most wounds, and it should do the job on yours — as soon as you stop picking that 140-character scab every 10 minutes. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Like many in society's subgroups, people who work in "death" industries or professions in the U.K. may believe it difficult to reach "like-minded" suitors. Hence, Carla Valentine established Dead Meet earlier this year and told Vice.com in October that she has drawn 5,000 sign-ups among morticians, coroners, embalmers, cemetery workers, taxidermists, etc., who share her chagrin that "normal" people are often grossed out or too indiscreet to respect the dignity of her industry's "clients." We might, said Valentine, need a sensitive companion at the end of the day to discuss a particularly difficult decomposition. Or, she added, perhaps embalmers make better boyfriends because their work with cosmetics helps them understand why "many women take so long to get ready." [Vice.com, 10-28-2014] Can't Possibly Be True A passerby shooting video in November outside the Lucky River Chinese restaurant in San Francisco caught an employee banging large slabs of frozen meat on the sidewalk — which was an attempt, said the manager, to defrost them. A KPIX-TV reporter, visiting the precise sidewalk area on the video, found it covered in "blackened gum, cigarette butts and foot-tracked bacteria," but the manager said the worker had been fired and the meat discarded. (The restaurant's previous health department rating was 88, which qualifies as "adequate.") [KPIX-TV (San Francisco), 12-1-2014] India's Orissa state has established "health camps" to facilitate mass sterilizations to help control the booming population, but procedures were halted in November when Dr. Mahesh Chandra Rout matter-of-factly told BBC News that camps routinely used ordinary bicycle pumps to inflate women's abdomens. Orissa's senior health official immediately ended the practice and ordered sterilizations only in hospitals. (Enlarging the abdomen helps the surgeon to operate, but the proper agent is carbon dioxide.) [BBC News, 12-3-2014] The Food and Veterinary Administration of Denmark shut down the food supplier Nordic Ingredients in November after learning that it used an ordinary cement mixer to prepare gelatin products for nursing home and hospital patients unable to swallow whole food. An FVA official told a reporter: "It was an orange cement mixer just like bricklayers use. There were layers (of crusty remains) from previous uses." As many as 12 facilities, including three hospitals, had food on hand from Nordic Ingredients. [The Local (Copenhagen), 11-28-2014] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you feel amazing this week. Your enthusiasm can be quite contagious, and many friends may come calling in the hopes that your good vibes rub off. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 You may have difficulty solving a difficult problem at work this week, Taurus. Take a methodical approach, and the solution will come to you before you know it. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Things may not have been going your way, Gemini, but there is still no reason for disappointment. You will find a way to bounce back from these setbacks in a few days. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, your presence alone is enough to impress people this week. Focus all of your energy on positive things, and you will accomplish quite a bit before the week is over. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, now is a good time to assess your health goals and make a few plans for the new year. It's within reason to change your diet or start a new exercise regimen. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Incredible efficiency this week has you zipping through your to-do list, Virgo. Enjoy some relaxation time once you have completed all your projects. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Work and family issues are on your mind, Libra. Find ways to balance work and family as best as you possibly can. Don't be hard on yourself if you cannot manage everything. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, this week is a great time to complete projects that have been on your plate for quite some time. All you really need to do is set your mind on them. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, you may feel rushed by external pressures, but it's really up to you to set your own pace. If you keep a calm head, things will fall in place and you can complete your tasks. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 This week some people close to you need a little space. Honor their requests and show them some respect, Capricorn. Your relationships will weather the time apart. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, things are bound to move quickly once you put a plan in motion. Get all of your ducks in a row to make a smooth transition. You may have to do some homework. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 You can probably have fun in any situation this week, Pisces. Your youthful exuberance will keep you busy and laughing. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard IN THE MORNING Weekdays 5:30AM to 10:00AM