Up & Coming Weekly

NOVEMBER 4-10, 2009 UCW 5 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM LETTERS LETTERS JANICE BURTON, Associate Publisher, COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or or email editor@upandcomingweekly.com My son fi rst set foot on an athletic fi eld when he was just 4-years-old. It was YMCA T-Ball. And I was as proud a mother as any that has ever sat and watched her child pick clovers or chase butterfl ies during those fi rst few practices and games. The same goes for his fi rst year in YMCA basketball. We spent hours explaining that yes, while sliding on the gym fl oor is a lot of fun, the object of the game is not to slide, but rather to take the ball down the court. Oh, how my heart swelled, when he got the concept, and the parents yelled, "Give the ball to JohnJohn, he will get it down the court." Of course, he did it by knocking all the other players down, and sliding halfway down the court on his knees, because that was really fun. But still, I was proud. He was The Boy, and he was playing. And yes, I was that crazy mother who sat in her lawn chair beside the goal at the Y fi eld on McPherson Church Road. I was the one who fi red him up before games by saying, "That's your goal. No one comes in your space you own it." And yes, I was the mother, who I admit, told him there was no crying in soccer when he made a great save, even after being hit in the face by a ball. Did I mention he was still 4? Having said that, I guess you get the picture that we take sports very seriously at our house. Or rather, we take the idea of organized sports very seriously at our house. I don't expect my child to be the best at every sport he plays. I expect him to give it his best. I don't expect him to play every inning, quarter or half, but I expect him to be given the opportunity to play. I don't expect the referees to be perfect, but while life isn't fair, I expect them to be. I tell my son it is okay to be tired, but it's never okay to let your team down or give up on your team. You're never so tired that it is okay to do that. While we might not make every practice, we make the majority of them, because the team doesn't get better unless they practice as a team. And I want my child to know that there's more than just the game. It's more about the hard work and dedication you put into the nights and weeks before than the 30 minutes on the fi eld. It's those days and nights and weeks that make you who are. Everyone can have a bad game, but the practice they've put in teaches them that if they fall down, they not only have to get back up — they can get back up. Yeah, it's about a lot more than the game. All children are quick to try and lay blame on someone else. "He cheated, he was holding me...." Those are frequent refrains I hear after practice. My answer is, "It's not about him. Next time be quicker. Play smarter. Because it really doesn't matter what the other person does, it's how you handle what they throw at you." Not a bad lesson to learn from children's sports. A lot of adults still haven't grasped the concept. My husband and I do our best to teach him about sportsmanship. My son has a temper. When he gets knocked down, or hit hard, or even when he's hit unfairly in a game, he wants to react. We've worked hard to teach him to shake it off, because life isn't always fair, and hard knocks will come your way. The best revenge isn't getting even, it's winning. We try very hard to teach him respect for authority, because again, the ref won't always be right, but he will always be the ref. That's a hard lesson to teach our children when so many bad examples surround them. This past weekend, our team had a football game. We got there early, and had time to watch the other teams play. A lot of parents on one of the teams obviously thought the referees were not doing a good job. They made their thoughts very obvious. They were screaming. They were yelling. Their coach, in fact, was ejected from the game. Did I mention my son is only 9? I was embarassed for them. Many of the people on their side of the fi eld left the fi eld. They were embarassed, too. What could possibly have been going through their children's minds? What lessons and words about sportsmanship had they heard from their parents now meant nothing? Don't even get me started about the gentleman (and I use that word very liberally) from the team we were playing who volunteered to work the sidelines. This man (again I use the word very liberally), this grown man, stood on the sidelines and verbally berated the children on our team. "You ain't no good." "You ain't gonna score." "You don't know how to play." This from a grown man to 9- and 10-year-olds. Several of the parents on our team tried to bring it to the referee's attention. He yelled "I've got it," and then proceeded to joke with the guy. It's only after our parents made a complaint to the fi eld supervisor did the man shut up. This cretin was someone's parent. He was there watching his child, but felt the need to denegrate other small children. What in the world was he thinking? And what was the ref thinking to let it continue? What would that man think if someone did it to his child? And what was his child thinking hearing the way his father was talking to other children. What lesson did he learn? As parents we have to be so careful. Because what we say to our children matters. What we do matters a whole lot more. It's a lesson, I've had to teach myself, because my actions truly speak louder than my words. Dear Editor: I read Bill Bowman's commentary on our Cumberland County slogan. Why would anyone want to change it? "History, Heros, and a Home Town Feeling." I think that says it all. I live in Stedman and on Hwy 24 headed into Fayetteville is one of those beautiful signs with the slogan and it makes me proud. When I've been out of town and headed home and see one of those billboards, or signs it just warms my heart and again makes me so proud. We have so much history here and no better heroes than our own 82nd Airborne, Green Berets, Delta Force and well as all the others at Ft. Bragg. Where else can you walk down the street, be in a restrauant or be in any of the many shopping centers and total strangers look you in the eye and say "Hey, how are you doing?" We're are on our way to becoming a larger city, but still have that "Home Town Feeling." I have done research and could fi nd no international companies based in Fayetteville. We do have an International House of Pancakes if that's what the leaders of Cumberland County are referring to as international. We have a great International Folk Festival which shows our diverse community that we are proud of. We have military personnel here from all over the world, but that is cultural, not business related international. I agree with you. Lets market the wonderful slogan we have now and build on that. I love the slogan and so do a lot of other folks in Cumberland County. Pam Wrench Remember, Actions Speak Louder Than Words by JANICE BURTON

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