Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/41010
2B Daily News – Thursday, September 1, 2011 FEATURES Sloppy spouse spawns steady seething Dear Annie: ''Bill'' and I have been married for seven years, but since our first child was born, I've felt like a horrible nag. I have to remind him fre- quently to pick up after himself and finish what he started. He leaves all the cabinet doors open and throws his clothes and other belongings all over the liv- ing room. I know these complaints Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar seem like little things, but it's been a struggle for me to take care of the new baby and the house, and he compounds my problems. He doesn't seem to be putting any effort into keeping up our home — or marriage. I've told Bill how important these little things are to me, but he can't see what the big deal is. I have tried many approaches to helping him get organized. I've reminded him with humor, with gentleness, with repetition and finally nagging until it gets done. He offers excuses and apologizes, but makes no effort to change. I fear what will happen when I go back to work soon. It is putting a strain on our relationship, and argu- ing is exhausting. What can I do so that I am not living in a constant state of annoyance? — Frustrated Wife Dear Wife: New mothers often become exhausted and depressed. Try to separate yourself from the mess. If Bill tosses clothes or other things on the floor, kick them into The overall sense of economic uneasiness and the ongoing lagging employment rate of recent months has many Califor- nians forgoing travel plans for this upcoming holiday weekend, accord- ing to AAA. AAA's latest travel forecast predicts more than 3.7 million Californi- ans will travel 50 miles or more from their homes this upcoming three-day Labor Day weekend. This represents an overall decrease of 2.6 percent compared to last year. "California travelers are reacting to the most recent economic down- turns and that is having a significant effect on dis- cretionary spending," said AAA Northern California spokesperson Cynthia Harris. "Nonetheless, with a pent up desire to get away for the last holi- day of the season, we could see an increase in last-minute weekend trav- el." Labor Day holiday trips by automobile are expected to be the pre- ferred mode of transporta- tion with more than 3 mil- lion Californians planning an out-of-the-way corner and say nothing. He knows he's a slob, and he's rebelling. When you go back to work, see if you can set aside some money to pay for occasional cleaning assis- tance. If Bill doesn't like the expense, tell him sweetly that it is obviously his choice, since he isn't capa- ble of pitching in. Dear Annie: My mother died recently. Over the years, she had managed to alienate everyone, including her children. Nonetheless, I tried to be there for her in the end. She said she loved me, yet despite my efforts to reconcile, she never apologized for some of the truly terrible things she said and did that created the rift. I'm a grown woman feeling like a lost and unloved child. But some hurts go deep and need to be addressed, not ignored. Why didn't my mother try to fix things? Wasn't I worth it? Did she really love me? As children grow into adults, we learn to accept our parents' short- comings. I am writing to beg your readers to show their love to their children, through words as well as actions, and to heal relationships before it's too late. Apologize for any wrong- doing. Don't expect your child to be someone he or she isn't. Make every effort to love your child's partner, and never force your child to choose between you. Please don't leave your children with the painful legacy of doubting they were truly to take to the nation's roadways this holiday weekend. This represents a slight 0.9 percent increase com- pared to 2010. Air travel is down by 1.5 percent compared to 2010 as more than 453,000 Cali- fornians are projected to fly to reach their vacation getaways. AAA estimates over 230,000 Californians will be taking other modes of transportation, such as rail, buses and watercraft. This repre- sents a significant decrease of 33.1 percent from 2010. Nationally, AAA pro- jects just over 31.5 million people will travel 50 miles or more during the Labor Day weekend, represent- ing a 2.4 percent decrease compared to 2010. The AAA Leisure Travel Index shows that airfares over Labor Day weekend are expected to rise by 13 percent from 2010, with an average cost of $202 per ticket for the top 40 U.S. air routes. Hotel rates at AAA Three Diamond lodgings are expected to increase by six percent with an aver- age of $148 per night. Moonlight hike at Whiskeytown Experience the quiet beauty of Whiskeytown National Recreation Area while hiking with a ranger under the full moon's soft light 7:30-10:30 p.m. Mon- day Sept. 12. The program is limited to 20 people and arrange- ments can only be made by calling 242-3462 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Monday through Saturday. The hike is about 3 miles round-trip and considered to be moderate with several short uphill climbs. Further details will be provided to those who sign up. A day use fee is required for each vehicle and car- pooling is recommended. Be sure to bring bottled water, hiking stick or trekking poles, a flashlight and a healthy snack. Hiking boots or athletic shoes with great tread are a requirement for this hike. Please call the Visitor Center at 246-1225, or stop in 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily for information about Whiskey- town National Recreation Area. You can also visit http://www.nps.gov/whis. loved. You may think it doesn't matter, but in the end, love is all that truly matters. I am planning to get counseling, but I hope this letter can help some- one else avoid my pain. — Grieving in Georgia Dear Georgia: Thank you. We are certain it will. Please know that this is not about your worthiness to be loved. It is about your mother's inability to show it. Dear Annie: A lot of seniors write to you complaining that their children are not attentive enough. My father was fond of saying that two parents could take care of 10 children, but 10 children could not take care of two parents. Now that I am 87 years old, I have the same complaint. I make a point not to get upset. I understand that my daughters and their children are busy with their own lives and childrearing, and they contact me when they find the time. I'd love to hear from them more often, but know that ''what goes around comes around.'' Someday, they will experience the same long- ing and will have to learn to live with it. — Glendora, Calif. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. More than 3.7 million Californians to travel this holiday Weekend car rentals are forecasted to decrease by seven percent, with a new average rate of $43. The travel expenditures for a West Coast family of four are expected to average $627 over the weekend, and the average road trip is predicted to cover 498 miles. AAA's survey shows that shopping, visits with friends and relatives and dining out will be the pre- ferred leisure activities for West Coast families. Other favorite activities over the weekend are expected to be touring and sightseeing, followed by visiting historical sites and biking. As part of AAA's ongoing commitment to provide safety and protec- tion to motorists, the AAA Tipsy Tow Program offers a free tow home for drinking drivers in North- ern California, Nevada, and Utah from 6 p.m. on Sept. 5, until 6 a.m. on Sept. 6. Members and non-members alike can call (800) 222-4357 (AAA-HELP) for a free tow of up to five miles. "Just tell the AAA operator, 'I need a Tipsy Tow,' and a truck will be on its way," said Harris. "Service is restricted to a one-way ride for the dri- ver and his or her vehicle to the driver's home." AAA Gas Saving Tips: •Keep your tires prop- erly inflated. Every pound of pressure that a tire is under inflated results in a two percent loss in fuel efficiency. • Don't use premium fuel if your car does not require it. Check your owner's manual. • Observe the speed limit. At speeds above 55 mph, aerodynamic drag increases and fuel effi- ciency rapidly decreases. •Avoid hard accelera- tion and drive defensively. Try to brake and acceler- ate smoothly. • Idling unnecessarily wastes fuel. Most cars today do not need to be warmed up. • Travel light. A loaded roof rack can decrease fuel economy by five per- cent. For more information call (888) 937-5523, visit your local AAA Travel office or online at www.aaa.com/travel. Another, easier hiccups remedy DEAR DR. GOTT: I've read many "cures" for hiccups in your column. I remem- ber how my moth- er taught me to cure my younger siblings of hic- cups when they were babies by touching the tip of the tongue with a little sugar. This would cause a sharp intake of breath, and that seemed to do the trick. Later I learned about scaring someone to stop the hic- cups, then about drinking water while holding the ears, etc. All of these seem to have one thing in com- mon — a deliberate inter- ruption of the breathing pattern. So why all the drama? You don't need sugar, water or a third person to intervene when using my preferred method. Simply take a deep breath and slowly count to 10 (one one-thousand, and so on). If you hiccup during the counting, stop and start all over again. Most of the time, this works the first time I do it. If I hiccup during the count, I start over. I've never had to do it a third time. DEAR READER: Hic- cups are caused by abnor- mal contractions of the diaphragm, the muscle that separates the chest from the abdomen. They are most commonly trig- gered by eating too much, sudden temperature changes, emotional stress or excitement, drinking carbonated beverages or too much alcohol. In most instances hic- cups are benign and dis- appear in a matter of min- utes or an hour or two. Sometimes they can last for days. Hiccups that last more than 48 hours should be brought to the attention of a physician. They may be the result of nerve damage or irritation such as a sore throat, acid reflux, something touch- ing the eardrum, a tumor, goiter or cyst in the neck. Another possibility is a central nervous system disorder such as meningi- tis, encephalitis, multiple sclerosis, stroke or a trau- matic brain injury. Other triggers include a meta- bolic disorder or drug use, diabetes, kidney fail- ure, an electrolyte imbal- ance, anesthesia, the use of steroids, tranquilizers, barbiturates or alcoholism. There are Dr. Peter Gott many remedies for hiccups, but it wasn't until you correctly pointed it out that I real- ized most reme- dies do involve some version of interrupted breathing. For that reason, I am passing along your letter. Other maneuvers such as stimu- lating the vagus nerve by drinking cold water, gar- gling with cold water, or irritating the diaphragm by pulling the knees to the chest while leaning forward have been found effective. Thank you for sharing your remedy. DEAR DR. GOTT: I experience cramping in the legs, thighs and toes, and even my feet turn to the side at times. I have found that when this hap- pens, my lower back and hips are out of alignment. I visit my chiropractor and the cramping stops. I think this is worth a try for those who experience similar cramping rather than taking medication. You have listed other cramping remedies in your column, but none of them have worked for me. I hope my suggestion will help others as much as it has helped me. DEAR READER: Cramping in the legs and feet can occur when one or more of the spinal ver- tebrae or discs push against the spinal cord or surrounding nerves. Pain, weakness, numbness and tingling are more com- mon symptoms, however. Chiropractic manipu- lation and techniques can be beneficial in relieving or improving symptoms in many cases of back and hip pain. My only con- cern is that individuals who wish to try this ensure they are seeing a reputable practitioner since, rarely, damage can be done if certain tech- niques and maneuvers aren't performed correct- ly. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including "Live Longer, Live Better," "Dr. Gott's No Flour, No Sugar Diet" and "Dr. Gott's No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook," which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com Volunteers sought to inventory local creeks The Stillwater-Churn Creek Watershed Alliance and the Western Shasta Resource Conser- vation District (RCD) will be conducting training for people interested in volunteering to inventory local creeks for fish barriers. Training will be held 5:30- 7:30 p.m. Sept. 14 at the Redding Corporation Yard, Building 4, 20055 Viking Way, Redding. The date for a subsequent field training event will be determined at that time. Following training, volunteers will have multiple opportunities to join others in surveying local creeks for barri- ers that may impede fish passage. Many of the tributary streams to the Sacramento River in the upper Sacramento Valley are sea- sonally intermittent streams that provide highly important habitat to fish and other organisms. Of particular importance is that • MEN • WOMEN • CHILDREN AFFORDABLE • CONVENIENT $1000 $1000 With coupon, Regularly $12 (Expires 9/15/11) FREE HELIUM BALLOONS 530-529-5766 855 So. Main St. (Walmart Shopping Center) many of these intermittent streams provide seasonal spawn- ing and rearing habitat for special status adult and juvenile Chinook salmon and steelhead. Adult salmon have been periodically seen in Churn Creek as far up as the City of Shasta Lake. Observations of juvenile salmon and steelhead in both Stillwater and Churn Creeks sup- port the determination that inter- mittent streams in the area pro- vide important non-natal rearing habitat for both fish species. As populations grow in the cities of Shasta Lake, Redding and Anderson, and in the sur- rounding rural areas, support infrastructure has expanded and is present in most of the intermit- tent streams in the form of bridges, culverts, utility cross- ings, and road crossings. These and other manmade structures such as rip rap for bank protec- GROWNEY MOTORS Serving the North State Since 1922 Air Conditioning Service 1160 Main St., Red Bluff 527-1034 BUICK www.geogrowney.com We Aim To Please Test for leaks, test pressure, and inspect components. Charge system. Freon extra. R134A only. Most cars and light trucks. Plus disposal fees. No guarantee on A/C leaks if leaks are not found at time of service $69.99 tion may affect fish movement in the streams. In order to determine where feasible and appropriate to improve fish migration, the Still- water-Churn Creek Watershed Alliance, in cooperation with the Western Shasta Resource Conser- vation District (RCD), will be leading a volunteer citizen inven- tory of the manmade structures in Stillwater and Churn Creeks to determine what structures may present barriers. Likewise, the RCD will be leading similar efforts in Anderson Creek and Keswick Basin watersheds to determine what barriers to fish migration exist in these areas. Further information is avail- able from Lee Delaney or Leslie Bryan, watershed coordinators, RCD, at 365-7332 ext. 203 or ext.. 215 and at lee@western- shastarcd.org or leslie@western- shastarcd.org. RED BLUFF COLLISION ✪Windshield Replacement $ starting at 200 ✪ Auto Detailing $ 50 off your 1st visit FREE Estimates 530.527.6160 915 Madison St., Red Bluff