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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»I'masingle mother of three who has been dating a single father of three, on and off, for just over a year. We both ha ve go od ca reers. I'm quite independent and levelheaded, with a positive outlook on life. This relationship is an emo- tional roller coaster. We've bro- ken up every few months due to my partner's depression, lack of trust and negative outlook. He has been deeply scarred by his divorce and the several brief relationships he had before ours. Almost every week, he requires a few days of isolation to brood. He excludes me from helping him or trying to make things easier for him. I love him very much, but we're not getting anywhere. I feel like I'm failing him as a partner if I choose not to stick by him. I've become nervous and indecisive because his moods affect me. A friend said that I'm obsessed with being his savior. I think I don't want to give up because I'm an optimist. Am I act- ing logically or rationally? I don't know anymore. —DeeplyConfused DEAR CONFUSED » One downside of being an optimist is that optimis- tic people tend to forget yesterday's trauma in the belief that everything will turn out well. This can keep people in bad relationships because they genuinely believe that things will always improve. Unfortunately, when it comes to people, patterns rule. You cannot save him. You don't have that kind of power. He desperately needs professional help. You have children to think about. They are the ones who need a savior, every day. If you can't do what's best for you, do what's best for them. DEAR AMY » I met my boy- friend a couple of years ago. We live together and share expenses. Just after we met he lost his job and his life started falling apart. I bailed him out by loaning him $5,000. When he found a job he paid back some of it but after we moved in together, he stopped mak- ing payments to me. He keeps talking about getting married and hav- ing kids and while I'm all for that, I'll be really ticked off if he buys me an engagement ring be- fore he pays back the loan (about $3,000) because every time I look at the ring it will feel like I paid for it myself. I've reminded him a couple of times that he still owes me the money but he says things like "I'm saving up for some- thing special." How do I handle this without ruining the whole "down on one knee" thing? — Doubtful DEAR DOUBTFUL » Ponder the math: He's automati- cally supposed to drop thousands of dollars for a ring for you and unless he also repays you, you won't consider a ring to be legitimate. And what monetary value do you give him if you get en- gaged? How about $3,000 worth of loan forgiveness? Should this optimist stay with her depressed partner? You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribune.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Libra(Sept.23-Oct.23)— An old idea may have current relevance. A successful partner- ship can be achieved if you don't try to manipulate matters. Be a team player. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Someone may have an un- healthy interest in your personal life. Keep your private informa- tion in a secure location. Don't flaunt your cash while shopping. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — You will gain recognition from the work you do to help others. Your concern for the underdog will ease the worries of someone less fortunate. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Your colleagues will not be as honest as you. You will be told what you want to hear, not what is really happening. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Romance looks positive. This is a good time to clear up money matters and outstanding debts. You can make a difference in your community by signing up for volunteer work. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — You will gain support from an unlikely source. New and valuable contacts can be made. Your infectious enthusiasm will bring you increased attention and the help you need. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Don't let anyone get to you. Avoid arguments by staying calm and doing your own thing. A family member will need immediate care. Do your best, without criticizing. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Be mindful of minor health concerns. Keep your medical and dental records up to date. Remember to include any pets when you are scheduling family checkups and appointments. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — It's time to have some fun. You are the perfect host, so gather your friends and plan a party or activity. Don't neglect anyone. Spread your cheer around. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Unrest at home will have you heading for the great outdoors. Take a breather away from conflict. A short road trip will provide a pleasant diversion. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — You will be amazed that so many people seem to feel the same way you do. Talks regarding partnership deals and contracts will turn in your favor. Make the most of your day. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Set your imagination free. Your plans to start your own business or change your present profes- sion will motivate you. Investi- gate the best way you can make your ideas come to life. Horoscope By Eugenia Last THURSDAY, OCT. 23 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2014 2 B