Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/387874
GregStevens,Publisher Chip Thompson, Editor EDITORIALBOARD How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@red bluffdailynews.com Phone: 530-527- 2151ext. 112 Mail to: P.O. Box 220, 545 Diamond Ave., Red Bluff, CA 96080 Facebook: Leave comments at FACEBOOK.COM/ RBDAILYNEWS Twitter: Follow and send tweets to @REDBLUFFNEWS Shakeofftheblues,putonyourshoes,and tell grandma the news: the next genera- tion iPhones are here. Cue the "woo- hoos." And guess what: they're huge. Or not. You choose. It's like iGoldilocks. There's a small, a medium and a large. And the best part- no bears. The iPhone 6 is a little bigger than the previous models but the iPhone 6 Plus looks like they shrunk the Minipad. Or tiny iPad. Or whatever they call it. "Is that an iPhone 6 Plus in your pocket or are you just really, really happy to see me?" All across America, Baby Boomers are raising 8 ounce glasses of prune juice in grate- ful toasts. They can finally see their buttons. These phablets are fabulous. In other fruit computer news, the iWatch did not turn out to be the iWatch: it's the Apple Watch. Even though the company filed for trademark protec- tion in about 100 markets for the right to call it the iWatch. Of course, the wrist- bound marvel doesn't be- come iAvailable until 2015. Or when iSwatch freezes over. In response to the new releases, the Galaxy An- droid Samsung contingent (GAS) has ramped up their troll-like flame campaign to shame and defame Apple for belatedly matching the lame technology of their sacred superior smart phones. But in such a piercing stri- dency, one thinks, perhaps they doth protest too much. If whining were beer, these guys would be a frat party during Octoberfest. In Bavaria. Can't figure out what it is about these modern communication de- vices that makes peo- ple so crazy. You never hear Lexus owners bashing Acura drivers for finally acquiring contrasting leather stitching on their re- clining heated leather seats. Brioni doesn't claim that Kiton suits are seasons old knock-offs with mate- rials drawn from substan- dard sheep. Wustof wouldn't dream of accusing Henckels of stealing their edge design. They might think it. People, settle down. For crum's sake. Who cares? They're phones. A few cos- metic differences but 99 per- cent exactly the same. Any- one depending that much on an accessory for their identity doesn't need a new phone, they need a new life. Smart phones wielded by dumb users. And next time, pick a feud that's two-sided: Appleheads couldn't care less about you Androidites, which probably heightens the frustration. Of course the Apple com- munity is so myopically loyal they would line up to buy the next iteration of Job- sian progeny even if the only new feature was a rotary dial. "No battery? You got to plug it into an outlet? Will it still have the cute little Ap- ple logo and be almost com- pletely useless as a phone? Okay. Whatever." Used to be the hippest of phones kept getting smaller until it seemed you would need tweezers to make a call. But with streaming video such a big part of our lives, we're headed towards a 19-inch model that requires iSaddlebags on an iPony to shepherd it across town. All optional, of course. Then again, a few of us are still waiting for the phone that will dry the dishes and do the laun- dry. "Siri? Are you down there? Don't forget to sepa- rate the colors. I swear. That girl would lose her head if it weren't preinstalled." Will Durst is an award- win- ning, nationally acclaimed political comic and will be performing Nov. 15 at the State Theatre in Red Bluff. Email Will at durst@cagle- cartoons.com or visit will- durst.com. Will Durst HeyApple, where's my iPony? Cartoonist's take SEPTEMBER 28, 2014 When Joan Rivers died re- cently it was news on a grand scale and reported faithfully in the media to ev- ery last detail. However, one facet was not ac- knowledged: Hers was the way to go. In further- ing the dictum of "Envy no person until they've had a good death," what could be a more pleasant way to die than to enter a clinic on your own free will, be sedated with the assur- ance that a procedure will be quick and not life threatening, and the results will enhance your life style? Her death was unex- pected and therefore tough on her family and fans, but it was not accompanied by suffering. There are many ways to de- part this life and dying in one's sleep is most often touted as ideal, but that is seldom the case. When my father died, according to Dr. O.T. Wood, "That's the way to go." Father had said to his wife and a vis- iting friend that it was time to get some "shut eye," and went to his bedroom. Shortly after they heard a noise and found him motionless on the floor. Doctor Wood concluded he was dead when he hit the floor. Sometimes philosophy en- ters the picture. The late Skeet Flournoy told me he had been diagnosed with pancreatic can- cer, knew it was terminal, but said he could handle it. This veteran of WWII, who had lost a leg to a land mine in Italy and worked for years on our kill floor at the old meat plant, was very stoic about such things, adding only the caveat that "they keep me doped up when the time comes." And they did. ••• I was going to comment of the new policy of the CVS Phar- macy chain on South Main stat- ing they will no longer be sell- ing tobacco in their stores as opposed to the new Dollar Gen- eral store on Antelope Boule- vard floating a banner tout- ing "cheap tobacco," but Dr. Joe Harrop beat me to it last Sat- urday in his column. So never mind. ••• And speaking of being one- upped by fellow columnists, Jean Barton wrapped up the re- cent 40th Anniversary of Bill Borror's Tehama Angus Ranch Bull Sale in her customary thor- ough fashion last Saturday re- porting everything but the shoe size of the auctioneers. I had a personal invitation from Bill to attend the dinner the night before, and knowing it would feature some great An- gus beef steaks, I readily ac- cepted but only briefly attended the event. I note in Jean's col- umn that auctioneer Rick Mach- ado, the next day, performed his task admirably despite the fact that he had a horse accident five weeks before in which he suffered four cracked ribs plus right wrist and lung injuries. He must be made of sterner stuff than yours truly. With my three cracked ribs from my horse stall fall seven weeks ago, I could not manage to stay for the whole evening's entertainment, and slunk away early to nurse my still aching rib cage. But it was a nice evening while it lasted. They have quite a spread there at the Tehama Angus Ranch. Hard to find, but worth the trip once there. ••• The SF Giants, Monday of this week, took the first game in a three-game series against the LA Dodgers, after a tense 13 inning outing (inning out- ing?) in which they, the Giants, appeared to have squandered a potential go ahead in the 10th or 11th inning. The concus- sion ailing Brandon Belt had re- turned to the team after a long absence, and after repeated ear- lier strike outs, managed to get on first base. Knowing that he was not a fast runner, I chan- neled manager Botchy and told him to replace Belt with a faster runner. He did not heed my call and sure enough, a couple of hits later, Belt was thrown out at home plate which would have won the game. However, the Gi- ants prevailed and in the 13th inning Belt got on base again and this time scored despite his being slow a foot, and the Gi- ants won the marathon. Although the Dodgers won the series, the Giants will al- ways have the game of the 22nd as sure as Rick (Bogart) and Ilsa (Bergman) always had Paris in Casablanca. ••• The sale of 10 million of the new iPhones by Apple in the first three days they were in stores suggests there is more disposable income out there than we imagined. They are called smartphones and those with a screen measuring at least 5.5 diagonal inches are called phablets. I can't keep up with the new terminology let alone afford to buy one. Are such items a must-have device as a status symbol, or do they indeed usher in the new age of communication? I harken back to the time of the pony ex- press being the only manner of conveying the news from east to west coast in a fairly timely manner. Even then it took days for Californians to learn who their next President was going to be. By harken I don't mean this by personal experience for heaven's sake. In my day we had the telephone and telegraph and indoor plumbing. ••• Speaking of memory. A couple had become forget- ful in their old age and sought to remedy by attending special memory classes where they were taught to remember things by word association. The husband was telling his neighbor how beneficial the classes have been. "Who was the instructor," asked the neighbor. "Oh…um…what was his name now," said the husband. "What's the name of that flower that smells so good?" "A rose?" "Yes, that's it," said the hus- band triumphantly. He turned toward the house and called out, "Hey Rose, what's the name of the guy in charge of the memory class?" And George Burns once stated, re old age, "First you forget names, then faces. Next you for- get to pull your zipper up, and fi- nally you forget to pull it down." Robert Minch is a lifelong res- ident of Red Bluff, former col- umnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmur- ray@hotmail.com. I say Not the way we were, but the way to go Sounding off A look at what readers are saying in comments on our website and on social media. Haven't we learned enough of how bad it is yet? Mary Button: On report of supervisors asking 3Core for more job creation. How about fixing some of those roads annexed into the city for the tax money but no one maintains? Linda Hayes: On report of Corning awarding pavement bidding project. Assemblyman Dan Logue 150Amber Grove Drive, Ste. 154, Chico 95928, 530895- 4217 Senator Jim Nielsen 2634Forest Ave., Ste. 110, Chico 95928, 530879-7424, senator.nielsen@senate.ca.gov Governor Jerry Brown State Capital Building, Sacra- mento 95814, 916445-2841, fax 916558-3160, governor@ governor.ca.gov U.S. Representative Doug LaMalfa 507Cannon House Office Build- ing, Washington D.C. 20515, 202225-3076 U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein One Post St., Ste. 2450, San Francisco 94104, 415393- 0707, fax 415393-0710 U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer 1700Montgomery St., San Francisco 94111, 510286-8537, fax 202224-0454 Contact your officials The Galaxy Android Samsung contingent (GAS) has ramped up their troll- like flame campaign to shame and defame Apple... If whining were beer, these guys would be a frat party during Octoberfest. In Bavaria. Will Durst Robert Minch OPINION » redbluffdailynews.com Friday, September 26, 2014 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A4