CityView Magazine

CityViewNC.com | 15 Engaging Christian Spirituality I 'm a jerk. I mean, there are times when even I don't want to be around me. Here's an example: I'm driving to Wal-Mart the other day. I'm not in a hurry, there's not an emergency, I'm just out running a leisurely errand. Then, out of the blue, the driver of the car in front of me has the audacity to turn into a gas station. I don't think that he's turning fast enough so I mutter some positive words under my breath to encourage him, something like, "Just turn, you moron." You know, something that would bless him, because that is what pastors like me do. Maybe that's not so bad in itself, but it gets worse. I leave Wal-Mart and head back home. When I begin to turn down my street, the driver of the car behind me has the audacity to think that I am not turning fast enough and sends his positive vibes my way by blowing his horn and reminding me the direction heaven is located – in case I had forgotten. My reaction? I fight anger, frustration and the urge to chase him down and explain the ways he's wrong, all while punching him in the neck. I play the scenario out in my head of how I can open his eyes to the fact that it is people like him who are ruining the entire planet. His attitude is what raises blood pressure, causes cancer, kills the whales and somehow contributes to global warming. The ripples of his wickedness are far-reaching. I'm sure that I don't have to explain D R I V IN G M E the irony and hypocrisy of my trip to Wal-Mart. But before you come down too hard on me, I'd hedge my bets that you're a jerk, too. All of us, in some way or another, make ourselves the center of our own morality and believe that the natural laws of the planet were set in motion solely to meet our needs. People should not turn in front of us, causing us the inconvenience of moving our right foot three inches to the left and applying pressure to the brake. We should not have to endure such injustice. When we want to turn, however, the people behind us should respect our space and keep their grills off our … tails. Maybe it's not traffic that sets you off – perhaps it's a waitress, spouse, boss or family member – but with someone or somewhere, you show that inner jerk that we all have within us. Our hypocrisy runs deep. There's just something fundamentally skewed inside of us causing us to judge others differently than we do ourselves. There's some disease that festers within us that shows its symptoms in our attitudes and actions. That's why no amount of positive thinking or rearranging the furniture to let in the good chi really makes any lasting difference in our lives. There is something broken deep inside that can't be fixed with fuzzy, feel-good, self-help Band-Aids. This is why I can't stand shallow faith and Christianity that is really only packaged inspiration. I don't need inspiration; I need healing. I need a God powerful enough not just to build me up but to transform me. At the same time, I need a God who has patience with me and mercy on me. I'm thankful that this is what the Christian faith, when taught fully, is all about: a God who knows that we are twisted, but in his great love gave himself up so that we might be forgiven and fully healed. Beyond that, he gave us the church as the place for us to live out the healing process together and support each other as we experience the power of a God who transforms. If you're a Christian, live it. If you're not, explore it. And I'll do my best to stay off your bumper. CV The Rev. Dan Alger is pastor of The Church of the Apostles and can be reached at ecs@tcota.org. CR A Z Y BY THE REV. DAN ALGER

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