Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2014 UCW 19 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS CHEAT EXHAUSTION My girlfriend and I are mostly happy together, but we have this ongoing fight where she accuses me of wanting to cheat whenever I so much as glance at a woman she perceives to be my "type" (any woman roughly her age and ethnicity). Even flipping through a magazine that shows a woman in an ad is enough to set her off. She says I need to eliminate all contact with other women, or I'm being unfaithful. But I don't see how I can stop doing things like talking to the checker at the supermarket or looking at someone crossing the street. — Blamed When you love somebody, it isn't exactly outrageous to fear losing them. And the suspicion that a partner is cheating can often be an instinctive response to subtle signs that they are. But such signs include flimsy excuses for working late or ducking into the hall closet to take phone calls — not merely daring to open a magazine that includes pictures of females who lack beaks, paws and tails. There's a good chance your girlfriend behaves this way because she has a giant crater where her self-worth is supposed to be. As for her paranoia, to be human is to have a tendency toward ridiculous, overblown fears, but we also have the capacity — gone unused in your girlfriend — to follow them up with a chaser of reason. The sad thing is, you might have compelled her to work on changing if only you'd told her "enough is enough" instead of just wagging your tail while she tightened your choke collar. Thanks to your enabling, there are now 300 of you in the relationship — you, your girlfriend, and her 298 fears. If you'd like to change that, wait for a moment when you aren't being prosecuted for something and ask to talk about the relationship. Explain that you love her and want to be with her but that she's increasingly pushing you away with her irrational (and, frankly, insulting) accusations and behavior. Tell her that she'll need to see a therapist and show meaningful improvement if she wants to keep you around. (Cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps people use reason to solve emotional problems, is probably the best bet.) Give yourself a deadline, and reassess — maybe at the three-month mark — so you don't keep getting used to crazy little by little until crazy becomes the new normal. That's how a guy ends up being the one apologizing when he comes home to a bonfire of his clothes, computer and Xbox after his girlfriend catches him in the act — smiling and thanking the supermarket checkout lady instead of staring at his shoes and wordlessly extending his palm for his change. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Now is a great time to research a potential career change, Aries. You're feeling motivated and ready to try something new, so now might be the time to take that leap. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Technology plays a big role in your life this week, Taurus. Your office may be upgrading new equipment, or you have decided to rewire your home. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, take a deep breath and go with the flow when you find yourself unusually busy this week. A change of plans may find you spending more time at the office. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 You're in for a nice financial surprise this week, Cancer. Whether it's a raise at work or some other financial windfall, money is coming your way shortly. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, expect some unexpected visitors this week. Straighten up around the house and make the most of this unplanned time with a few old friends. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Friends or colleagues at work may introduce you to something that captures your interest, Virgo. You are ready for something new in your life, and this will tickle your fancy. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Travel is in your immediate future, Libra. Enjoy this escape from the daily grind and invite a few friends or family members along to make the trip that much more memorable. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Good news is on the horizon, Scorpio. It may be a pending promotion at the office or a chance to go out with friends, but either way it will put a smile on your face. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Expect your life to change dramatically this week, Sagittarius. An intriguing bit of news could have you imagining all sorts of interesting things for the months to come. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, if you're itching for change, look no further than your own family members for inspiration. Good advice is always available if you care to ask. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, a busy week ahead will also be a happy week. That's because you will be busy doing something that you enjoy and the time will fly by. Enjoy the ride. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, jump at the chance to get away and enjoy an unplanned adventure. The next few days may provide the experience of a lifetime. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Enric Girona recently donated his prototype pet commode to the town of El Vendrell, Spain, hoping to spark worldwide interest. Conscientious owners would train their dogs on the station — a hole in the ground with a flush handle — which is connected to the sewer system, as is the drain grid next to it (for tinkling). The platform, which appears to occupy about 20 square feet of surface, is self- cleaning (although not too clean, said Girona, because dogs are more easily lured with a lingering scent). Spain is already one of the world's toughest on lazy owners who fail to scoop up after their pets, with fines in El Vendrell as high as the equivalent of $1,000, and in Madrid and Barcelona, $2,000. [The Guardian (London), 7-2-2014] Took It Too Far The New York customer service company United Health Programs of America provoked a federal lawsuit in June by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over its employee esprit- de-corps policy of requiring workers to pray to God on the job and to say "I love you" to their managers. According to the EEOC, the feel-good, work-harder campaign was suggested by an aunt of United's owner and named for an obscure "truth and compassion" movement called "Onionhead." [Reuters, 6-11-2014] After two third-graders wet their pants on May 15 at Mill Plain Elementary School in Vancouver, Wash., they blamed teachers for too-strictly enforcing their classroom's "rewards" system, in which good behavior earns students points redeemable for, among other prizes, restroom breaks. A teachers union investigation concluded that the girls were never "denied" toilet access (but the girls' mothers pointed out that using restroom breaks as a "reward" might be confusing to 8-year-olds). [Columbian (Vancouver), 5-22-2014] The Japanese snack company Calbee recently staged a promotion around popular singer Nana Mizuki, giving away 10 backstage passes to her Aug. 3 concert in Yokohama to the purchasers of 10 lucky bags of secretly marked potato chips. Her perhaps-hugest fan, Kazuki Fukumoto, 25, was so determined to win one that by the time he was arrested for littering in May, he had bought and dumped 89 cartons of potato chip packages, weighing over 400 pounds, that were found at six locations around the cities of Kobe and Akashi. Police estimate he had spent the equivalent of about $3,000. [Mainichi News via Kotaku. com, 6-10-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard