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2B Daily News – Wednesday, June 29, 2011 FEATURES Dutiful daughter dismisses dementia Dear Annie: That letter from ‘‘Dutiful Daughter’’ described my mother perfectly. She said her mother, now in her late 80s, was becoming increasingly difficult and rude. You suggested an evaluation to check for dementia. We did that with our mother, and the doctor says she is mentally fine. She has just become rude. And apparently, because of her advanced age, she thinks she has earned the right to be as nasty as she likes. My siblings and I dread taking her anywhere. So now that we know it’s not dementia, how do we handle her? — Not Dutiful for Much Longer Dear Annie: In no uncertain terms, my son and his second wife have told me that it is wrong to be in contact with my son’s ex-wife. They’ve said my ex-daughter-in-law should not be invited to my home or to family functions, and that including her shows a total lack of support for my son. I am not close to my ex-daughter-in-law, although I hold no animosity toward her. But, Annie, I’ve known her for 30 years, and she is the mother of my grandchildren. Shutting her out does not seem reasonable, nor is it a good example for my grandchildren. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I see my son and his current wife very rarely. They do not invite me to their home. They do not bother with my other children and have a limited interest in family gatherings. I am not part of their lives. They say it’s because I still see the ex, but even when I don’t include her, they still don’t come around. My son refuses to talk about any of this, and his wife seems only too happy to attack me. What is the best way to handle this situation? — Danged if I Do and Danged if I Don’t Dear Danged: Of course it is wrong for your son and his wife to tell you who you can and can- not contact, but that won’t change their response. We don’t recommend inviting your ex-daughter-in- law to any function where your son or his wife might be present. That is simply asking for trouble and will be interpreted as a deliberate slap in the face. We suggest less blatant ways to stay in touch with your ex-daughter-in-law, such as e-mail and phone calls. Visits should be saved for those occa- sions involving the grandchildren where your pres- ence together would be expected. Dear Not Dutiful: With honesty, boundaries, consistency and some behavior modification. When Mom is rude, point it out to her, nicely, and say that you don’t like to be around her when she cannot treat you decently. If she continues, get up and leave. There is no reason to subject yourself to constant nastiness. Although it will probably take a little while, either she will learn to behave more politely, or you will see her less often. Win-win. Dear Annie: I want to respond to ‘‘Heartbroken in Canada,’’ whose children ignored her on Moth- er’s Day. That was my eighth Mother’s Day after the sud- den, tragic death of my only child at age 14. Every breath I take is a struggle without her. How does one celebrate Mother’s Day after the death of a child? Gratitude. I am grateful for hav- ing the opportunity to be a mom, even for only 14 years. I am grateful the last words I said to her were ‘‘I love you.’’ I am grateful she did not suffer. I am grateful to ‘‘The Compassionate Friends,’’ an organization that supports bereaved family mem- bers. I am grateful when a friend remembers to say ‘‘happy Mother’s Day’’ instead of nothing. If your children are alive and breathing, cele- brate. Until you have suffered a mother’s worst nightmare, be grateful. You may someday become a grandmother. I lost that gift when my only child died. — An Angel’s Mom Dear Mom: Our deepest condolences on the loss of your daughter. Thank you for reminding our readers to appreciate the blessings they have. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Double vision linked to Graves’ Disease DEAR DR. GOTT: Is Graves’ disease curable? I have hyper- thyroidism and dou- ble vision I’m told is from the disease. What can I do? DEAR READER: Graves’ disease is not curable, but it’s com- pletely treatable. This type of hyperthy- roidism occurs when Dr. Peter Gott the immune system mistakenly attacks the thyroid gland, causing it to produce an excess of a hormone known as thyroxine. The immune system cannot be prevented from attacking the thyroid gland, but fortu- nately there are several treatments available to lower the production of thyroxine and ease the symptoms. Signs of the disorder may include a goiter (enlarged thyroid gland), hand or finger tremor, irregular heartbeats, difficulty sleeping, anxiety and weight loss. The eyes may show signs of Graves’ ophthalmopathy, which most notably causes them to protrude beyond their protective orbits. The lids swell, the eyes might become red and, infrequently, double or blurred FREE CONCERT! - Southern Gospel at it’s very best! - Wonderful for entire family - Invite friends and family Love Brother’s Forever Offering will be taken Known for its power vocals and harmony. They travel nationally and tour year-round. Musical style ranges from So. Gospel to Inspirational Contemporary gospel. The group’s members have powerful testi- monies and have been nominated for many awards, including Favorite Male Group at the SGM Fan Fair Awards and Best Southern Gospel Group at the Christian Music Hall of Fame/Vision Awards.The group has performed at the National Quartet Convention. Opener: Son’s of Light Quartet Thurs., June 30th 6:30 p.m. 1005 So. Jackson St., Red Bluff First Church of God vision may be present. Other serious complications from Graves’ involve the heart and include congestive heart failure (CHF) and atrial fibrillation. CHF occurs when the heart is incapable of circulating sufficient blood to meet the needs of the body. Atrial fibrillation is an abnormality of the rhythm of the heart. Then there’s osteoporosis from untreated Graves’ because excessive amounts of thyroid hormone leaches calcium from the bones, causing them to become brittle. Treatment may include drugs known as beta blockers, radioactive iodine or anti-thyroid medication to prevent the thyroid from producing excessive hormones. Control with radioactive iodine will cause the gland to shrink, symptoms will be reduced, and the gland may ultimate- ly reverse to a state of hypothy- roidism (too little thyroid hormone) and require supplemental thyroid hor- mones. This treatment option may worsen any symptoms of Graves’ ophthalmopathy, so this may not be an option for you. The use of anti- thyroid medication for a year or two may lead to long-term remission of the disease; however, relapse can occur. Make an appointment with an endocrinologist if you haven’t already done so. Visit a nutritionist who can review your diet and recom- mend specific foods to combat any weakness or fatigue. Plan to have lab- oratory testing at least on an annual basis. By taking care of your general health, you should be able to lead a long, normal life. Readers who would like related information can order my Health Report “The Thyroid Gland” by send- ing a self-addressed, stamped number No. 10 envelope and a $2 U.S. check or money order to Dr. Peter Gott, PO Box 433, Lakeville, CT 060349- 0433. Be sure to mention the title when writing, or print out an order form from my website’s direct link: www.AskDrGottMD.com/order_form .pdf. DEAR DR. GOTT: Is it possible to live a normal life without surgery for a hernia? I’ve heard of people years ago wearing various trusses or sup- ports of some kind. DEAR READER: Yes, it is. Truss- es were quite common years ago and are still in existence today. A hernia can result from lifting heavy objects, Declare Your BBQ Independence Save 20% on a Traeger TM provide you and your family with: ➢ Sustainable outdoor cooking with 10 varieties of natural wood-pellet fuels ➢ Automatic digital temperature settings from 180 to 425 degrees ➢ Convection and radiant heating ideal for searing, roasting, and baking ➢ 5 minute warm-up / instant shut off to conserve fuel and time ➢ Full size drip pan to remove fat, prevent flare-ups, and simplify cleaning ➢ Heavy duty construction with full three year warranty and local service ➢ Custom Traeger™ cookbook and web site to share BBQ recipes and experiences Come to Wild Willy’s Smokehouse on July 2nd, 3rd or 4th between 11 and 7 to “taste the difference” of free BBQ food samples. See our BBQ smoker/grills, sauces, spices, books, and BBQ accessories. 8570 HWY 99E – 1 mile north of Los Molinos !! Bring in this ad for a free bottle of Scorned Woman BBQ Sauce* !! *limited to first twenty requests smoker/grill to chronic constipation, an undescended testicle, obesity and a host of other reasons. In most cases, if the hernia doesn’t cause pain and discomfort, there is no need for surgical repair. It’s when it enlarges or strangulates (or there is increased risk of this occurring) that intervention is necessary. Strangulation refers to the tissue becoming stuck in a hole in the abdominal wall, resulting in its blood supply getting cut off. If the bulge cannot be pushed back through the hole to restore the flow of blood, that specific portion of the intestine will die. If you have a hernia, I recommend a visit to your primary care physician or surgeon. He or she will be your best resource to determine the next step. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. FREE Sonar/Fish Finder Seminar Learn how to maximize the benefit of your unit. Intermediate Level Course Thursday, June 30th 5:30 PM Lots of Free Giveaways Call for info. (530) 529-3877 501 MADISON ST., RED BLUFF Located inside Reynolds Ranch & Farm Supply “When you need it done right … Hire only a licensed contractor!” 2011 Tehama County Contractors Guide Publishing the business name, license number and telephone number of all Tehama County building and related contractors in good standing with the State of California, listed by primary professional specialty. 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Advertising Deadline: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 First Distribution/Published Online: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 ADVERTISING RATES (Print and Online Editions): Contractors: Duplicate basic listing under additional contractor categories: $10 ea. 1/8 page 1/4 page Half Page Full Page $65.00 $110.00 $175.00 $310.00 RED BLUFF Inside Front Page $400.00 Back Page: Full color: D NEWSAILY TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 $445.00 Add 20% Call your Daily News advertising representative today (530) 527-2151