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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Myboyfriend of four years is married. He and his wife separated months before we got together, and I am sure he has had l imi ted t o no contact with her while he is with me. But as I get older and friends are becoming engaged and married, I find myself wanting those things. He says the only reason he hasn't filed for a divorce is due to laziness, but I worry it is more than that. My dilemma is that I have a 4 1/2-year-old son (my boyfriend is not his biological father). They adore each other, and he has been an amazing bonus dad. I feel bad complaining about his refusing to get a divorce because he has helped to raise my son. But his unwillingness to settle down with me is unfair. I can't walk away from the relationship because a child is involved. How can I approach the situation and express my feelings without sounding controlling? —UpsetGirlfriend DEAR UPSET » Your judg- ment seems so compro- mised, it is hard to advise you about a specific course of action, other than to make a promise to yourself to act in your son's best interests. Ponder your choices: Committing to a married man who gets attached to your son but will not legally commit to either of you? Not in your son's best interests. If you truly feel that "I haven't filed for a divorce because I'm too lazy" is anywhere near an accept- able answer, then you two might just deserve each other. Bringing this up is not controlling; it is rais- ing a topic of importance to everyone. Know this: Locking this guy down with mar- riage is no guarantee he will stay. I hope you will realize that being alone is almost always preferable to being with the wrong person. If this man loves your child, he can love and spend time with the child as a special friend, regardless of whether you two are a couple. DEAR AMY» I read the re- cent letter from "Rejected and Dejected," who wrote about feeling bullied by some "frenemies." In my research there have emerged a few tips that can be helpful for people in these situations. First, try not to spend too much energy imagin- ing a witty comeback that will make the bully wilt with shame. Second, in the short term, use distraction. Third, and this is most important and most ef- fective, make an effort to spend time with people who you know do truly care about you. — Elizabeth K. Englander, director, Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center DEAR LIZ » Excellent, prac- tical advice. Thank you. Man refuses to divorce wife for girlfriend of four years (You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribune.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's mem- oir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.) Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Cancer(June21-July22) — Your style and flair are what make you unique. Don't be de- terred if someone dislikes your creativity. Jealousy will be at the root of any such complaint. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Face any dilemma head-on. Don't give in to anyone trying to take advantage of you or who is standing between you and your happiness. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Take any opportunity to travel that comes your way. Organize your time so that you can mix business with pleasure and come out on top in both areas. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — You will be flattered today, but consider whether all the hubbub is sincere or merely the product of ulterior motives. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Your appearance and self- confidence go hand-in-hand. Some minor improvements and indulgences will lift your spirits and rejuvenate your approach to your life and goals. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — You may have doubts re- garding your career choice. It's important to find an outlet that you enjoy and try to turn it into a living. Research the options that interest you most. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You can meet some fascinat- ing and stimulating individuals at group functions. Check out what's happening in your area. Love and romance are on the rise. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Don't be too quick to sign on the dotted line. Make sure that you get all the goods or services that have been promised. Read the fine print. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Follow your intuition. You know deep down what is best for you, regardless of what oth- ers say. Travel opportunities are apparent and should be geared toward future business. Aries (March 21-April 19) — There are gimmicks designed to make you buy products. Don't be tempted to buy on impulse. It's no bargain if you end up not using what you purchased. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — You have many appealing and desirable qualities. Accept social and community invita- tions, and you will discover a new window of opportunity that can help you out personally and professionally. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — If you are vocal, you can make substantial progress in the workplace. Let your superiors hear your ideas and opinions. Finding solutions will lead to advancement. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol THURSDAY, JULY 10 THURSDAY,JULY10,2014 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 5 B