Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/34020
NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Ellenbeth Wachs, 48, was arrested in WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY Lakeland, Fla., in May on a complaint that she “simulated” a sex act in front of a minor. In a March incident, Wachs, after receiving medication for her multiple sclerosis, was awakened at 8:30 a.m. by her 10-year-old neighbor boy’s clamorous basketball game, near Wachs’ window. After unsuccessfully beseeching the boy for quiet, Wachs — hoping, perhaps, to make a point about noisy neighbors — began moaning out the window (while remaining out of sight), “Oh, John! Oh! John!” over and over at increased shrillness as if in the throes of orgasm. The basketball- playing stopped, but the incident was not a teaching moment. The boy’s father, Otto Lehman, called the police and filed for an order of protection against Wachs. [The Ledger (Lakeland), 5-6-2011] Compelling Explanations Dalia Dippolito, 30, of Boynton Beach, Fla., was convicted in May of hiring a hit man to kill her husband, but not before offering an ultra-modern defense: Her lawyer told the jury that it was all a fake scheme to pitch a reality-TV show about one spouse’s ordering a hit on the other (and that her husband, Michael, had originally come up with the idea). As Dippolito’s plan unfolded, her boyfriend alerted police, who set up a sting and witnessed Dippolito dictating exactly what she wanted done. (In fact, the sting itself was captured on video for the “Cops” TV show.) Michael denied any involvement, and the jury appeared not to give her story any credence. [ABC News, 4-27-2011; CBS News, 5-16-2011] “Wrong” Impressions: The Sergeants Benevolent Association, fighting back in April against corruption charges (that its NYPD officers often “fix” traffic tickets for celebrities, high officials and selected “friends”) claimed in a recorded message reported in The New York Times that such fixes are merely “courtesy,” not corruption. [New York Times, 4-19-2011] A 20-year-old Jersey City, N.J., gym member claimed “criminal sexual contact” in March, acknowledging that while she had given a male club therapist permission to massage her breasts and buttocks, she had been under the impression that he is gay. When another gym member told her that the therapist has a girlfriend, she called the police. [Jersey Journal, 3-24-2011] Quite a Disease, That Lyme: Marilyn Michose, 46, was referred for medical evaluation in May after she was spotted roaming the lobby of the Waldorf- Astoria Hotel in New York City wearing neon pink panties on top of her street clothes, with a .25-caliber Beretta visible in her jacket pocket, and speaking gibberish. According to Michose’s mother, Marilyn had overmedicated for her Lyme disease. [New York Times, 5-7-2011] A restraining order, to keep away from Sarah Palin and her family, was extended in May against Shawn Christy, 19, of McAdoo, Pa., by a magistrate in Anchorage, Alaska. Christy has admitted to traveling to Alaska to meet Palin, to making numerous telephone calls to her, and to once threatening to sexually assault her. According to a 2009 psychiatric evaluation ordered by the Secret Service, Christy appeared to suffer from “latent onset” Lyme disease. [Reuters, 5-9-2011] COPYRIGHT 2010 CHUCK SHEPHERD 20 UCW JUNE 15-21, 2011 ARIES (March 21-April 19) Your educa- tion deepens this week as you commit to bettering yourself. Experience is your best teacher. Get practice “out in the field” on Friday and Saturday. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Someone will be- have in a way that you cannot understand. This person seems to hang a question mark over your week, and you won’t give up until you understand the motive behind his or her actions and ultimately infl uence further action. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) You’ll have an opportunity to make a stellar impression and a lifetime friend. Take a moment to compose yourself before every conversation. You can’t command power and respect from others if you’re not feeling them inside yourself. CANCER (June 22-July 22) There are reasons why you don’t push for what you really want from another person. You sense that he or she is not ready to give it, and the last thing you want to do is come across as needy. Trust your intuition. Watch and wait until the timing is right. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) You realize that when people don’t know where they stand with you, they work to win you over. You may have discovered this when someone you didn’t pay attention to kept trying to impress you. Now you’ll be more purposeful in the application of this principle, making yourself less available and therefore more desirable. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Moving with the times is not the easiest thing to do in a week like this one. The changes are coming rapid- fi re, and you must stay on your toes to keep up. Eliminate excess baggage. Thursday, instead of reacting to whatever you’re given, you’ll fi nally be in a position of control. ADVICE GODDESS Meek and Potatoes LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) When someone is struggling socially, you will step in and save the day. You’ll supply the words another person can’t seem to come up with, change the subject or fi nd another way to pick up the conversational slack. People like you and invite you places because they trust that you won’t let things get awkward. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Your moods may be all over the place. Luckily, all of those people are pleasant to be around. Sometimes you’ll be curious, other times grateful and then excited, hopeful, compassionate ... Positive emotions just keep fl owing through you. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You will be open to infl uence and extremely teachable. Take advantage of this high level of receptiv- ity by surrounding yourself with the best and brightest people. Also, it’s a fantastic week for experimentation, especially the sort that will get you in touch with your imagination and the collective unconscious. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) You will spend some time doing what doesn’t come naturally, and this can be frustrating, but it will expand you in ways that will prove both impor- tant and necessary in the weeks to come. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Your energy may be scattered, but that is to be expected with one as creative as you. You are likely to start several projects at once, and in time, you will get around to fi nishing each and every one. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You enjoy expanding your knowledge and thinking, and this is a good time to do so in a formal setting. A school or structured method of training will be well worth your investment of time, money and energy as long as the teacher and class are good matches for your current level and style of learning. DID YOU FORGET?? etm 2 5 % Thanks to our teams & best wishes for a great season! Two Great Businesses Under One Roof! 3006 Bragg Blvd. 910.323.1791 www.trophyhouseinc.com My co-worker was really hung up on a guy. She was convinced he liked her, and she did all the fl irty things you advise, but he never made a move. This went on for months since she, like you, thought women should never, ever ask a man on a date. I fi nally persuaded her to offer to make him a home-cooked meal. He thanked her but said he had a girlfriend. So, now she can put this behind her. She’s actually relieved she fi nally made a move. — Wise Friend When a woman fl irts and fl irts with a guy and he still doesn’t ask her out, she knows there must be a reasonable explanation: 1. Hairball stuck in his throat. 2. He sprained his tongue. 3. He’s temping as a monk. The woman can either wait months and months for him to cough up that hairball or accept that there’s probably a more reasonable explanation: He’s not interested, not available, or not man enough to tape hair on his chest and squeak out “You doin’ anything Friday night?” A guy who’s not that interested might still go out with a woman if she asked. Great — if she wants a man who’s not that into her but who’ll hang around for a while Amy Alkon By Holiday Mathis (longer when his favorite TV show is in reruns). In the case of “not man enough,” some women tell themselves, “No problem! I’m man enough to ask him!” They end up with a “not man enough” instead of a man. A little water and sunlight will grow carrot greens out of carrot tops in a jar lid, but there’s yet to be a relationship that’s produced spontaneous growth of testicles. Enabling “not man enough” can have some unpleasant repercussions. What the man-worm lacks in assertiveness he usually makes up for in passive-aggressiveness. And say he and the woman are stopped by muggers. Do you think a guy who practically wets himself at the mere thought of asking a woman out will try to protect her … or push her toward the bad guys and shout, “Here, take my girlfriend! Call me from U-rape-istan and let me know how it all went.” Being an adult involves accepting that you can’t always have all the answers, all spelled out. Sometimes, you have to take no answer for a “no,” like when your eyelashes are about to fall out from all the batting and a guy still isn’t doing any asking. Yeah, I know — somebody’s fourth cousin’s second-best girlfriend asked her husband out and now they’re living blissfully ever after. But, in general, a guy who could be really into a woman will be less into her if all he has to do to get her is sit there and look pretty. Romantic pursuit is a two-person dance, not a one-woman show. It’s the woman’s job to put out the “Yoohoo, I like you” vibes. She then needs to wait for a response. If none comes, she needs to move on — tempting as it is to try to go from zero to nesty before they’ve even had a fi rst date: “Home-cooked supper, Pa? Or would you prefer a get-to-know-you barn-raising?” Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM SOCKS • BEL TS • HA TS • P ANTS p M a o ny i O s t ! u