Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/327492
20 UCW JUNE 11-17, 2014 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS All Is not Flossed I've gone out several times with a girl I really like, but her breath bothers me enough that I don't want to kiss her until it improves. (It smells like pepper and socks.) She doesn't smoke, eat stinky foods,or have an odd diet (beyond not eating red meat), so I'm not sure where this is coming from. I think her feelings might be hurt if I were to say something. What's the best approach? — Holding My Breath When you read a book about the horrible chemical weapons used in World War I, you shouldn't think, "Hey, that reminds me of kissing my girlfriend." People will tell you that you can just give the girl a hinty-poo in the form of gum or a mint. And sure, Altoids can eliminate persistently bad breath — if the person who has it gets killed in an avalanche of them. But terrible breath that isn't caused by something a person ate or eats regularly could point to dental problems — issues even "curiously strong mints" can't fix, not even when combined with a really strong mouthwash, like Lysol Basin, Tub & Tile Cleaner. There's a common misconception — held even by many doctors and dentists — that serious bad breath originates in the stomach, notes the health care research-vetting group the Cochrane Collaboration. In fact, only 9 percent of the cases at an "oral malodor" clinic were caused by things such as gastric imbalances, diet and sinus infections. But 86 percent of the cases originated orally — most caused by gross microscopic critters relaxing and playing poker on a person's tongue. Studies find that these microbe meetups can be shut down with tongue scraping, at least for a while, but you can't just present this girl with a Tiffany's box with a silver tongue scraper. ("Thinking of you…") Sure, you may lose her if you say something, but if you don't, you'll almost definitely have to ditch her or have your sinuses filled with cement. To break the news, start positive: "I find you totally hot and an amazing person, but I have to tell you: There's a sort of ongoing issue with your breath, and I've read that this can point to dental issues or a need for tongue scraping." Assuming she isn't so mortified that she dumps you, this news is likely to send her to the dentist and/or to the drugstore for a tongue scraper. This, in turn, should get you longing to kiss her -- a far more enjoyable act once you're no longer dating a woman who maybe looks like Xena the warrior princess but tastes like Xena's horse after it's licked the break room refrigerator. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Focus your energies in a positive way, Aries. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to, and now is the time to put your attitude to work. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, you are ready for something or someone new. Right now is a good time to reach out and connect with a new passion. Things will get more interesting rather quickly. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 You need to focus and get back to work this week, Gemini. Things have slipped out of your fingers, and it could take a little while before you get back on a schedule. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Shop around for the best deals before making a big purchase, Cancer. A little extra work can lead to substantial savings. There are deals to be had, so be patient. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Expect to reach a milestone in your life, Leo. This may have something to do with your family or career. Either way, the praise you will receive is warranted. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Sometimes it can be easy for you to get fixated on a certain way of doing things, Virgo. There are really many different paths to the same outcome when you are open to ideas. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, do not panic when a glitch arises in your plans. Just approach the situation from a different angle, and you will find a solution in no time. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Try not to push yourself too hard this week, Scorpio. This is a good time to maintain a low profile. Drawing too much attention to yourself might ruffle the wrong feathers this week. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, something will bring a smile to your face early in the week, and there's pretty much nothing that can put you in a bad mood. This is an ideal time to get things accomplished. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 You are never one to walk away from a challenge, Capricorn. This week you will be presented with a big obstacle, and you will have to step up to tackle the hard stuff. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Keep your eyes open and you just may stumble on something new and fascinating this week, Aquarius. This is a good time to explore new ideas and apply them to your daily life. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Someone gets bent out of shape over something that seems laughable to you, Pisces. You may need to adjust your view. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD In April, Anton Purisima filed a claim in Federal District Court in New York City that the Lowering The Bar blog calculated was for the largest monetary demand ever made in a lawsuit — "$2,000 decillion" (or 2 followed by 36 zeroes, which of course is many times more money than exists on planet Earth). Purisima's lawsuit names Au Bon Pain, Carepoint Health, Kmart, the New York City Transit Authority and LaGuardia Airport among the parties allegedly causing him so much distress (by fraud, civil rights violations and even "attempted murder"). Lowering The Bar also noted that "$2,000 decillion" could also have been accurately nominated as "$2 undecillion" or even "two octillion gigadollars." [Purisima v. Au Bon Pain, et al, Case No. 1:14 CV 2755 (SDNY, 4-11-2014) via Lowering The Bar, 5-13-2014] The Continuing Crisis Only in Florida — (1) Calvin Rodriguez was arrested in Port St. Lucie, Florida, in May as the man who had been using a shaved key to steal a series of cars from parking lots. His spree came to an abrupt halt as he sped away from police in a stolen Honda Civic only to crash into a huge alligator in the road. (2) On May 1st, a wildlife trapper called to Pine View School in Osprey, Florida, south of Sarasota, removed four alligators (one of which was 8 feet long) from the campus while classes were in session (but without disruption). (3) Beachcombers in the Gulf of Mexico town of Redington Beach, Florida, were treated on May 17th to the sight of a full- grown elephant treading water about 20 yards offshore. (The animal had made its way to the water after being unloaded for a commercial birthday party appearance.) [WPTV (West Palm Beach), 5-15-2014] [Sarasota Herald Tribune, 5-2-2014] [WTSP-TV (St. Petersburg), 5-19-2014] Democracy in Action — (1) During a regional session of Spain's parliament in February, a photographer from the newspaper El Diario Montanes captured a shot of legislator Miguel Angel Revilla looking at a picture of a nude woman (in a magazine otherwise concealed inside a folder). (He explained later that he was of course just reading the articles.) (2) In May, U.S. Rep. Joe Garcia of Florida was captured on a C-SPAN camera during a House Judiciary Committee hearing casually eating his earwax. In the sequence, described on a Time magazine blog, he dug into his ear, inspected the results, placed them in mouth, then went "back for seconds." (Rep. Garcia explained later that he was actually dealing with a "hangnail.") [Daily Mail (London), 2-25-2014] [Time. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard