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Tuesday, May 24, 2011 – Daily News 3B FEATURES Troubles travel to technology Dear Annie:My daughter recently married and had a baby. The problem is my son-in-law. I have tried to like him, but it’s hard. He is in the military in another state, and my daughter lives at home in order to fin- ish college. It was his idea to save money by having her live here instead of renting an apartment. When the baby was born, my son- Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar in-law was very affectionate with his child. After six weeks, however, he changed and wouldn’t hold the baby anymore. Then he stopped coming by and wouldn’t even call my daughter to see how she was doing. Eventually, he asked for a separation, blaming my daughter for their problems. My daughter decided to visit him and left the baby with me. They recon- ciled, and she called to say they were going to take their child and leave town together. Fine. But my daughter drove her husband back to base and arrived here in the middle of the night. She then left immediately with the baby. I was angry. Why didn’t her hus- band tell her to spend the night instead of waking the baby and risking their lives by driving when she was so tired? I know I shouldn’t have, but I told him off in a text message. I couldn’t help myself. I said he was inconsiderate. He told me to mind my own business. Then he told my daughter that I was the problem in their marriage. The next thing I know, he posted our argument on Facebook and had some choice words for me. Was I wrong? — Des- perate in Texas Dear Desperate: Parents should avoid getting too involved in their child’s marital issues. If you didn’t want your daughter driving late at night, you should have discussed it with her instead of getting into a fight with your son-in-law. But it doesn’t surprise us that he broadcast your argu- ment on Facebook. Sharing such pri- vate, nasty details with the world is a sign of immaturity. Still, for your daughter’s sake, please work on improving your relationship with her husband. Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married eight years, and we each have grown children from our previous marriages. We moved to a rural area where hotel accommodations are few. My wife thinks it’s perfectly OK for her son to bring his girlfriend and stay for a week. She does the same with her brother and every other relative. We live close to her elderly parents, so they travel to see them. Unfortunately, their house is small and overheated, so everyone wants to stay with us. My wife even headed a family reunion with 35 people who stayed in campers but used our house to shower. I wouldn’t mind one couple staying a night or two, but my wife can’t say no. She thinks I’m antisocial and says opening the door to friends and rela- tives, without boundaries, is natural and loving. We can’t seem to reach a com- promise. Please help. — Antisocial Husband in Spokane, Wash. Dear Husband:Your wife is a gen- erous soul. Hosting the relatives makes her happy. The compromise is for her to do it less often than she wants, but more often than you’d like. Try to work on that. Your other option is to vacate the premises when she has guests so they cannot irritate you quite so much. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Talks Too Much.’’ I find myself with the same problem — only I’m the one who talks too much. I am single and live in New York, and the rest of my family lives in Vir- ginia. Most of our correspondence is by e-mail. At 90, I don’t get around much, and there are weeks when I don’t talk to anyone. I started losing my voice since it was so rarely used. What’s embarrassing is that when I meet up with friends, I find I can’t stop talking. Fortunately, I realize this and can con- trol it. Being lonely brings on many unimaginable problems. — EM Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W.Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Veteran talent show finds its groove (MCT) "American Idol" has gotten its groove back and not a moment too soon, with NBC's "The Voice" attracting attention and the U.S. version of the British phenomenon "The X Factor" coming to Fox in the fall. We almost counted out "American Idol" last year after an especially wob- bly season that included "Pants on the Ground"; forgettable finalists Aaron Kelly, Tim Urban and Katie Stevens; and the crowning of Lee DeWyze, the lowest-sell- ing "Idol" in the show's history. The show's focus had also veered away from the contestants to the judges. Newcomer Ellen DeGeneres was a bad fit, knuckling under the pres- sure of the live shows. The departure of lead judge Simon Cowell at the end of Season 9 was a game changer, and bland judge Kara DioGuardi was unceremoniously dumped. Now nearing the end of its 10th season, the Fox staple has managed to do what seemed impossible. It's not only made us watch again, it's made us care, even with- out Cowell in the mix. Appealing teens Scot- ty McCreery, 17, and Lauren Alaina, 16, head into this week's finale after the elimination of Haley Reinhart. The unexpected battle of country wannabes could be the sweetest — and youngest — showdown ever. This season also had surprises at the judges table. Rather than replace Cowell, DeGeneres and DioGuardi with another comedian or songwriter, "Idol" pulled out the big guns by bringing on superstars Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler. It was easy to be sus- picious of those choices, especially after Lopez's new album and Tyler's new book were heavily promoted on the show. But Lopez stepped into Paula Abdul's role (minus the loopiness) and became the show's sympathetic mother. She wasn't above shedding tears, which helped over- haul her own cold diva image. Tyler's criticisms have been too quick and friendly, but he brings a much-appreciated crazy vibe to the table. As for future seasons, Tyler has reportedly signed a multiyear con- tract, as opposed to Lopez's one-year deal. She is expected to sign on for more. Tyler and Lopez weren't the only bright spots at the judges' table. Randy Jackson rose to head judge status and voiced real opinions without always using the words "dawg" and "pitchy." (His new catch- phrase is "in it to win it.") Another big plus this season: The contestants came off as real con- tenders — and no one was a sure bet. Just ask Pia Toscano. With her powerful voice and TV-friendly looks, Toscano was a front-runner but was eliminated in early April. Rocker James Durbin, who looked like the like- ly winner once Toscano was out of the way, was shown the door this month in one of the show's most emotional eliminations. Casey Abrams was an early favorite and was voted off so prematurely that the judges used their wild card to keep him on the show. Abrams enjoyed several more weeks before being voted off a second time, again prematurely. Even quirky Paul McDonald's elimi- nation last month seemed too early. It all helped make for a season in which any- thing could happen. The timing of "Ameri- can Idol's" revitalization couldn't be better. Two new shows are looking to steal some of the show's glory, something no other singing contest, from "Nashville Star" to "Making the Band" to "P. Diddy's Starmaker" to "The Sing-Off," has been able to do. But "Idol" producers would be silly to ignore the impact of "The Voice" and the buzz around "The X Factor." "The Voice," with big- name judges Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, Blake Shelton and Adam Levine, is a late-season breakout hit for NBC, drawing strong ratings and critical and viewer praise. The show has already been renewed for the fall. Fall will also bring the long-awaited debut of Cowell's "The X Factor," which reunites him with Abdul. Other judges are British pop star Cheryl Cole and music executive L.A. Reid. With all this new com- petition, it would seem time for "American Idol" to get back to its A-game. Fortunately, it's already there. Cold water, warm water: It’s all the same DEAR DR. GOTT: I have read that drinking the appro- priate amount of water each day is good for my health. I also see a lot of information about how much water is enough. Now I get an email from a friend who forwarded a message that drink- ing cold water with a meal is bad for heath but drinking warm water with a meal is good for it. Dr. Peter Gott Does it matter whether I drink cold or warm water with a meal? Does it matter whether I drink cold or warm water without a meal? Thank you. DEAR READER: If I am correct, the email you received was about cold water causing can- cer and may have had some information about heart attacks thrown into the mix. Both Hoax Slayer (www.hoax-slay- er.com) and Snopes (www.snopes.com) clas- sify this as false, and I agree. Cold water will not solidify the stomach contents because it does not remain cold. As it is consumed, the water warms to the same tem- perature as the body. So drink cold or warm water with or without a meal. It doesn’t really matter. Now as for how much water to drink daily, I have previously talked about this. You can read the article on my web- site at www.askdr- gottmd.com/do-water- intake-recommenda- tions-change-with- weight/. DEAR DR. GOTT: I developed eczema on my hands about six months ago, at the age of 46. It seems to be get- ting worse every week, with sores and my skin splitting. It hurts so badly that I feel I would be better off cutting my hands off. I have tried three different prescrip- tion creams and oil, to no avail. Do you know of anything else that I can try? I would appre- ciate any help. DEAR READER: Eczema is the itch that rashes. It typically starts with a patch of exces- sively dry skin that begins to itch. As you scratch it, it becomes red and inflamed. It is important to keep the skin moisturized. Preventing the initial dryness can prevent scratching and the resulting rash. Because your hands are affected, this can be especially dif f icult since we, as humans, use our hands for just about everything. First, when washing your hands, doing the dishes or even shower- ing, use cool or luke- warm water. Don’t rub the skin dry, but gently pat it. Follow that imme- diately with a moisturiz- er. Whenever you feel that your skin is becom- ing dry, apply more. My readers have had success using mentholated chest rubs, regular ChapStick, Bag Balm and glycerin on dry, cracked or chapped skin. You may also choose to use a good-quality lotion or cream, particularly one with a petroleum or lanolin base. Perhaps a short trial of a hydrocor- tisone would help. Avoid fragranced or dyed products because these may further irri- tate your already sensi- tive skin. It may take some time to adjust to the new rou- tine and for results to be seen, primarily because you appear to have a severe case. Stick with the regimen for at least a month. Then if you fail to see improvement, make an appointment with a dermatologist to discuss other options, including testing to determine whether what you have is really eczema. Readers who are interested in learning more about skin disor- ders can order my Health Report “Dermati- tis, Eczema and Psoria- sis” by sending a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Dr. Peter Gott, P.O. Box 433, Lakeville, CT 06039-0433. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website’s direct link at www.AskDrGottMD.co m/order_form.pdf. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com Tehama County’s Personal/Professional Service Directory AT YOUR SERVICE! $ 9900 3 month commitment Attorney Local Bankruptcy Attorney Jocelyn C. 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