Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/305190
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»Isthere any way around asking someone how they prefer to mourn? I have some friends who have lost someone special, and for the first year or two I send a card or email, or call on the anniversary. Easy enough. But then what? Some continue to mark the anniversary every year. Some don't want to be reminded of a loss that's still weighing so heavily on them. (And lots in between, and lots who have preferred dif- ferent things at different stages.) I hate asking if they want me to acknowl- edge the date or not; I don't want to make them explain themselves or justify how they're mourn- ing. I just know they're still hurting and I don't want them to feel alone. —MourningaLoss DEAR MOURNING » Asking does not automatically (equal sign) "mak(ing) them explain themselves." If you just say you know they're still hurting but aren't always sure what they'd like from you, then say you'll follow their lead, whether it's to acknowl- edge the anniversary or let it pass without a painful reminder, I think it'll be clear to people you're not judging. The alternative to asking is just to continue marking the anniversaries as you have. "I remember and I care" is one of those messages you needn't fear sending. DEAR CAROLYN » Re: Mourning: I would say most people have no idea how they prefer to mourn, even while they are going through it. — Anonymous DEAR ANONYMOUS » True, but this question is about people who are several years beyond a loss. In that case, I think it's reason- able to think that someone to whom you had sent a card on Year 1 and Year 2 would have a preference for marking Year 3. DEAR CAROLYN » I was contacted via Facebook messaging by a former boyfriend who got mar- ried and moved away a few years ago. The first email was innocent ("How have you been? Here's an update about my life"), but the second and third ones were flirty, and now he has crossed over into complaining about his marriage. I have never met his wife, so I cannot possibly be the appropriate person for him to vent to. Is there any way I can put an end to that line of discussion without cutting off all contact entirely? — Facebook Friends DEAR FACEBOOK » Tell him that you appreciate his friendship but have no interest in harboring an emotional fugitive, and that he needs to take his marriage complaints to his wife directly. If that moves him to "cut off all contact entirely," then you'll know the ratio of ulterior motive to genuine friendship was never in your favor. Continue to share sentiment on an anniversary of loss Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Taurus(April20-May20) — Small business ventures are likely to pay off. Consider home improvement projects if you are looking to gain security. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Don't let anyone stifle your cre- ative output. You may feel edgy or uncomfortable around others. Attend to personal pleasures that are sure to help you relax. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Refrain from squandering valuable time daydreaming about past events. What's done is done. Face the future and put your best foot forward. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Step into the limelight. Share your plans with others. You will gain unexpected rewards from your involvement in a worth- while cause. Show off. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Keep your anger at bay today. Think before you speak. If you are too hasty to judge, you may end up alienating a loved one. Physical exertion will help ease stress. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Love is in the stars. Your intu- ition will guide you to a romantic encounter today. Don't hesitate to share your hopes and dreams with the one you love. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Household duties you have been neglecting will have to be dealt with swiftly. An older relative is in need of your assistance. Do everything you can to help, and you will be rewarded. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Your self-confidence will enhance your appeal. You'll do well if you get out and mingle. A new acquaintance is likely to play an important role in your future. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You will meet with opposition if you reveal your plans too early. Your success will depend on fol- lowing through with your plans without waiting for someone else to make the first move. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You are overdue for some lighthearted entertainment. Get out and attend a social function. Your charisma and charm will help you meet new friends. An investment will pay off. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Refrain from making a hasty decision. Get your facts straight before you act. You will be able to make an informed choice once you have considered all the relevant details. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Romantic connections can be made if you spend time with stimulating, creative people. Your lighthearted mood and sense of humor will lead to a very compatible companion. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol THURSDAY, MAY 1 Thursday,May1,2014 rEdBLuFFdaILyNEWs.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B