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4A – Daily News – Friday, April 22, 2011 Opinion A ticking time bomb D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 Greg Stevens, Publisher gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Chip Thompson, Editor editor@redbluffdailynews.com Editorial policy The Daily News opinion is expressed in the editorial. The opinions expressed in columns, letters and cartoons are those of the authors and artists. Letter policy The Daily News welcomes let- ters from its readers on timely topics of public interest. All let- ters must be signed and pro- vide the writer’s home street address and home phone num- ber. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and cannot exceed two double-spaced pages or 500 words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section of those submit- ted will be considered for publi- cation. Letters will be edited. Letters are published at the discretion of the editor. Mission Statement We believe that a strong com- munity newspaper is essential to a strong community, creating citizens who are better informed and more involved. The Daily News will be the indispensible guide to life and living in Tehama County. We will be the premier provider of local news, information and advertising through our daily newspaper, online edition and other print and Internet vehi- cles. The Daily News will reflect and support the unique identities of Tehama County and its cities; record the history of its com- munities and their people and make a positive difference in the quality of life for the resi- dents and businesses of Tehama County. How to reach us Main office: 527-2151 Classified: 527-2151 Circulation: 527-2151 News tips: 527-2153 Sports: 527-2153 Obituaries: 527-2151 Photo: 527-2153 On the Web www.redbluffdailynews.com Fax Newsroom: 527-9251 Classified: 527-5774 Retail Adv.: 527-5774 Legal Adv.: 527-5774 Business Office: 527-3719 Address 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080, or P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 Round about the second week of February I made a mis- take – not a small one – and Wednesday I caught it. Tick, tick, tick. Now I may not be the first one to notice it, but so far nobody has called or sent an e- mail to tell me what a bonehead I am. I expect that to change in the coming weeks. Tick, tick, tick. Each year we put out special publications – Corning 2011 and Red Bluff 2011 this year – that serve as a Community Yearbook, or combination visi- tors guide and relocation hand- book, for each respective com- munity. Both are popular and packed full of information. Tick, tick, tick. The part of these guides I use most is the annual calendar of events gathered and shared by the Red Bluff-Tehama County Chamber of Com- merce. We tend to work several weeks ahead of events to make sure previews are planned and printed in plenty of time to be useful to readers, and the calen- dar is invaluable for keeping up with the bigger events. Tick, tick, tick. That is, when it’s accurate, and it is for the most part. Of course, that’s before yours truly got his paws on it. Kablooweee! When we embark on a busy month of events in May, you’ll note that all hell breaks loose. As the page turns from the first to second week of the month, events traditionally held during the Thanksgiving and Christ- mas holiday seasons crop up in late spring. As delightful as it might be to attend the Downtown Light- ed Christmas Parade in shorts and a tank top on a warm, late- May evening, don’t get your hopes up. That terrific event, and others in proximity, will still roll around in November, no matter what you read in Red Bluff 2011. Of course, when November comes around on the calendar, you’ll be treated to events such as the Contemporary Histori- cal Vehicle Association Car Show at River Park and Relay For Life. No need to bundle up. Those, too, are wrong thanks to a bit of text block leapfrog. I could fill the rest of this page with theories as to how this monumen- tal lapse occurred, but it suffices to say it did and it’s on me. Instead, I’ll fill the remainder of this col- umn with some steps to salvage the incor- rect the calendar for the remainder of the year. There’s no easy fix to the calendar, but the following instructions appear to be the sim- plest way to make the listing more useful in planning your sched- ules: 1) Get a pen and your copy of Red Bluff 2011 2) Turn to page 38, cross out the page number and write 39 3) Turn to page 39 and replace the page number with 40 4) Turn to page 40, cross out the page number and write 38 5) When consulting the cal- endar, just follow the revised page numbers and you will be on the right track. In the words of Bill Cosby, as Noah receiving instructions from God about build- ing the Ark, “Right.” My head hurts just Chip Thompson 545 Diamond Ave. explaining that, so in the coming weeks, as space allows in our daily editions, we’ll reprint those months of the annual calen- dar — May through November — in cor- rected order. Find this listing, clip it out and paste it into your copy of Red Bluff 2011 and title it “Chip’s Waterloo.” By the way, if you have a copy of Corning 2011, the calendar listing in that pub- lication is correct. Chip Thompson can be reached at 527-2151, Ext. 112, or by e-mail at editor@redbluffdailynews.com. Your officials STATE ASSEMBLYMAN — Jim Nielsen (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 6031 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 319-2002; Fax (916) 319-2102 STATE SENATOR — Doug LaMalfa (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 3070 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 651-4004; Fax (916) 445-7750 GOVERNOR — Jerry Brown, State Capitol Bldg., Sacramento, CA 95814; (916) 445-2841; Fax (916) 558-3160; E-mail: gover- nor@governor.ca.gov. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE — Wally Herger (R), 2635 Forest Ave. Ste. 100, Chico, CA 95928; 893-8363. U.S.SENATORS — Dianne Feinstein (D), One Post Street, Suite 2450, San Francisco, CA 94104; (415) 393-0707. Fax (415) 393-0710. Barbara Boxer (D), 1700 Montgomery St., Suite 240, San Francisco, CA 94111; (415) 403-0100. Fax (202) 224- 0454. Bring in the clowns Commentary Last weekend’s 90th running of the Red Bluff Round-Up was indeed a stirring event. The flags are flying, the cowboys and cowgirls decked out in their version of western chic, and the weather cooperated magnificently. The announcer, sensing an opportunity to stir the crowd to a fever pitch pontificated on the virtues of being an American, glossed over our vices, and even bible thumped a bit, professing his own religious convictions while acknowl- edging different strokes for different folks. That said, what was the show lacking? For starters, no trick riding and roping. Paul (Son- crant) St. Croy, was revolving in his grave. The clowns were not funny nor audible. Perhaps they save their energy for protecting bull riders. One clown, who used a racquet to hit tennis balls into the grandstand seats, was not estab- lishing any rodeo event that I could perceive. What I would like to see is a re-incarnation of Homer Holcomb or Slim Pickens. These were clowns with funny one liners and often a dog or donkey act. For example, Homer would get the announcer’s attention by yelling up to the booth that some cowboy had dropped his wallet in the arena and offered to go get it for him. The announcer would congratulate him for being a Good Samaritan until Homer would reach for the wallet which turned out to be some horse puckey instead. Yes, an old bit of shtick, but it seemed to work year after year...at least it did for an old shtick like me. * * * A recent TIME cover reads, “What if there is no hell?” and is subtitled, “A popular pastor’s best-selling book has stirred fierce debate about sin, salvation and judgment.” Well, debate there may be. Nothing new there…but little will be resolved regarding this conundrum. 45 years ago TIME published a cover asking “Is God dead?,” and the jury is still out on that one. What we do know is that all such questions are “faith based.” You either have it or you don’t. This begs another question: Why is this considered relevant at this time? Does it have to do more with financial than moral crisis? Where is George Will when we need him to weigh in on the weighty subject? And more important, the missus is asking, as she scans my writing, where am I going with this? So many questions, so few answers. The people I talk with do not bring up the subject of the hereafter. They are concerned with the “now.” They ask, when will the recession end, when will the unemployed get back to work, when will the rate of home foreclosures slow, is this the time to buy, what will Benny Brown do with the for- mer Helser Chevrolet proper- ty on Adobe…and why would anyone seriously con- sider that con man Donald Trump for president? These are first things first topics. If all politics are local then all things spiritual are best served in church or in less pressing venues. But you know all this. There is no more to be gained by writing the editor of TIME then there is to challenge the conduct of the cult of Scien- tology. In the meantime, I suggest readers mod- ify the question about the existence of hell and acknowledge there is a hell...and it is on earth in the form of war. That avowed, the next step is take a long walk in the country... and then pro- vide a home for a cat, a dog or a burro. What- ever turns you on. I can attest to one thing for certain: life is short. When you have lived long, the years will fly by like the Air Force jets that flew over the Round-Up last weekend; only not with a roar but a sigh. Thus ends today’s sermon. * * * Here is a great quote, author unknown; “Envy no man until he has had a good death.” Our doctor friends will probably second that motion. * * * I am not the only one living in the past. Rock McClellan is 89 years old and remembers work- ing for Bill Norvell and later Cliff Palm in 1935 when they were operating the Rexall Pharmacy at 629 Main St. He says he remembers the good looking gals working there even better. * * * Last week’s quiz was answered promptly by Robert Minch I Say many, but L. Brown came up with the cleverest answers: The quote was by Michelangelo, whose last name was Simoni, the radio show Fibber McGee and Molly featured the Mayor of Wistful Vista, La Trivia...and the letter A on Hester Prynne’s dress, stood for Adultress and not the Oak- land ball club. This week’s quiz: Lawrence Welk’s California license plate (Hint: down- beat), A & W Root Beer founder’s names and real name of mystery writer A.A. Fair? * * * Two hunters, Stosh and Stan, got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big bull moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one moose. The hunters objected strongly saying, “Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both.... and he had exactly the same airplane as yours.” Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be out- done by another bush pilot, gave in and every- thing was loaded. However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness. Somehow, surrounded by the moose, cloth- ing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Stan survived the crash. After climbing out of the wreckage, Stosh asked Stan, “Any idea where we are?” Stan replied, “I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year.” Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff and former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine. He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com.