Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/29526
Monday, April 18, 2011 – Daily News – 5A Gossiping gal gets grating Dear Annie: I have worked many years in a small family- owned business. One of the owner’s children recently graduat- ed from a promi- nent university and is now employed here. This kid has an opinion on every- thing and is quite Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar the gossip, constantly crit- icizing the other employ- ees and clients. She shares these tirades with me, as our desks are in close proximity. I try to avoid these incidents, but it is impossible. Worse, I don’t want to alienate myself from the owner or his daughter, so I pretend to join in. I know it’s wrong, and afterward, I feel sick. No one is immune. I am well aware that she talks about me when I’m not around. Several val- ued employees have already decided to quit. Switching jobs is not an easy option in this job market, but I have my resume out. In the meantime, how do I control my behavior and responses without making things worse? There are only so many bathroom breaks one can take. I hate being in the middle. I just want to do my job to the best of my ability. — Want To Work Dear Want: Is Daddy aware that his daughter’s behavior is driving away valued employees? If a group of you informed him, would he do any- thing about it? As much as he loves his child, he may not want to lose his busi- ness because of her. Otherwise, we strongly recom- mend you smile politely and say nothing. You can try to murmur an occasional word in defense of your co-workers, but if not, silence is the best way to stop kicking yourself later. We hope you find another posi- tion soon. Dear Annie: My friend ‘‘Dee’’ is also a neighbor who lives in the same mobile park. Dee used to be good friends with ‘‘Joanne’’ for years. I don’t know Joanne, but Dee spoke of her often. A year ago, they had an argument and stopped talking. Sadly, Dee is dying, and I would like to tell this former friend about it in the hope that she would try to make peace before it’s too late. However, I’m afraid it all could backfire in my face. Dee gets angry easily. She doesn’t have much time. What do you think? — Y.T. Dear Y.T.: This is Dee’s decision to make. Ask her if she would be interested in having you try to arrange a reconcilia- tion with Joanne. If the idea doesn’t appeal to her, please do not pursue it further. Dear Annie: You were off the mark with ‘‘Bi in the Boonies.’’ I am a bisexual 17-year-old girl and a proud Catholic. Adults at school told me I was going through a ‘‘phase’’ and it was sim- ply subconscious experi- mentation. If this young person gathered the courage to tell her friend, it means she is serious about her sexuality. I would tell her to talk to as many different adults about it as she can. Church leaders, especially young ones, were some of the most helpful people on my journey to self-dis- covery. They are support- ive of my transgender boyfriend and me. The fact is that more than 10 percent of the population is gay, bisexu- al, transgender or ques- tioning. She needs to remember that she is not alone. I will be praying for her and her parents. — In Love With Another Girl in Seattle Dear Seattle: Thank you for your words of encouragement. We hope you realize how fortunate you are to have supportive parents, friends and church leaders. Many kids who announce that they are gay or bisexual risk being tossed out of the house or worse. We think first speaking to someone at PFLAG will help any young person grappling with his or her sexual ori- entation. To all our Jewish readers: a happy and healthy Passover. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. FEATURES If readers would like to contact Drug addiction could be cause of illness Dr. Gott, they may write him through your newspaper or send their mail directly to Dr. Gott c/o United Media, 200 Madison Ave., 4th fl., New York, NY 10016. However, if readers want to request a newsletter, they should write to the Ohio address. DEAR DR. GOTT: I greatly enjoy your column and have learned much through it. Some time ago, you ran an article from a read- er who asked if body piercings could affect a person’s health, and you gave a list of medical procedures and appropri- ate tests. I think you missed an important possibility. In my experience, the young lady who would not go for counseling or testing is most likely addicted to pre- scription drugs. The symptoms described are common in withdrawal from opiates (which feels like the worst flu you’ve ever had). Kidney stones are often invoked ways of getting pain relievers. The frequency of the “illnesses” proba- bly means she’s running out of medicine before it’s time to refill her prescription. The parents should check this out and may want to arrange an intervention to get her into rehab. Her lack of motivation could also be due to amotivational syn- drome, not uncommon in longtime mari- juana users. I hope this helps. By the way, I am a reverend doctor who is a certified addictions counselor and certified co-occurring disorders pro- fessional. DEAR READER: You are correct that I failed to mention drug addiction as a potential cause of the young woman’s chronic illness. It is also possible that she does indeed have a medical condition, such as Crohn’s, for which pain medica- tion was prescribed, which led to an addiction. Therefore, I stand by my pre- vious statement urging the young woman and her parents to seek out medical attention and testing. However, to that I will add that addiction is a valid potential cause or worsening factor. As for amotivational syndrome, this is a controversial condition. According to the World Health Organization, it is a constellation of features said to be asso- ciated with substance abuse, primarily cannabis use. These features (apathy, Dispose of expired, Dr. Peter Gott loss of effectiveness, low toler- ance for frustration, impaired concentration and more) may be the result of chronic cannabis intoxication or may merely reflect the user’s personality, development stage or attitude. DEAR DR. GOTT: I’ve noticed in the past there have been more letters from females about reoccurring yeast infec- tions. My wife had that problem for several years before her doc- tor had her A1C checked and found she was type 2 diabetic. Once her diabetes was under control, she had no more problems. DEAR DR. GOTT: A while ago, you had a column about a lady with a chron- ic yeast infection. Many years ago, I had a recurring problem in the same area. For months, my OB/GYN and I tried a vari- ety of pills and ointments, but the irrita- tion always returned. I discovered the cause by accident. When we were travel- ing in our motor home, I had no problem. But it came back as soon as we returned home. The culprit was the extra-soft toi- let paper we used at home. I have been using the simple septic-tank-friendly paper ever since and have no more irrita- tion. DEAR READERS: Diabetes increases the risk of developing skin and yeast infections. Undiagnosed, uncontrolled or poorly controlled dia- betes increases the risk. It also increas- es the chances of nerve and kidney damage, cardiovascular disease, cancer, foot damage, brain problems and more. Diabetes can be diagnosed with a sim- ple blood test. Now to the extra-soft toilet paper. I have never heard of this causing a prob- lem so this is completely new to me. I chose to print your letter because switch- ing toilet-paper brands/types is a simple, inexpensive change that may be extreme- ly beneficial to many people. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Lessons from my garden Prescription drug take back day There will be a drop- There's something magical about dirt. Dig- ging in it clears my mind. It's like hitting "refresh" on my com- puter screen. Things pop into proper perspec- tive. I experience nature's therapy in the solitude of my tiny garden. And I have learned some important lessons, too. • Start early. I've made feeble attempts to grow sweet peas in years past, always with the same disappointing results. Imagine my surprise when I read I was plant- ing way too late. Sweet peas need to be sown into the ground long before winter -- in the fall. I was months off. The same is true for planting a financial nest egg. Starting early is the way to experience a spectacular harvest. Money needs the power of time for it to grow strong roots that run deep. • Hang on tight. I had no idea one fall when I planted my sweet peas what lay ahead for those tiny seeds. Not two months later, Southern California experienced months of record-breaking precipi- tation. We got rain in spades. The storms were harsh, yet my sweet peas hung on for dear life. The World Famous Palomino Room 1/2 off Lunch or Dinner entree with purchase of 1 entree must present coupon *equal or lesser value Lunch: Tues-Fri 11am-2pm Dinner: Thurs-Sat 4pm-9pm 723 Main St., Red Bluff 527-5470 www.palominoroom.com They refused to let go -- and certainly not because they recei v ed encourage- ment from me. For all I kne w , they were long gone, because the bed showed no signs of life. In their own quiet way, though, they were alive, b urro wing down to ride it out. Life's storms hit all of us from time to time. And when they do, we have a choice: We can either cave in and let the storms carry us out to sea or dig in and refuse to let go. • Give or give up. Once my sweet peas began to bloom, I was hesitant to cut them. They just looked so pretty on the trellis. But here's the deal with sweet peas: If you do not cut them regularly, they stop blooming alto- gether. For many weeks, I faithfully cut as many long-stemmed blooms as my vines produced. If I cut one bouquet on Monday, I was sure to have two bouquets on Tuesday. Giving is the secret of never running out. But it takes a leap of faith to cut that first har- vest. Soon you realize you have more than you had before. So you give again, and you give more. And the more you give the more you have to give. Mary Hunt Everyday Cheapskate The more you bless oth- ers the more blessed you become. • Winter's coming. No matter how beautiful my garden is today, I know it won't last forever. So each day, I try to enjoy the garden for the moment and save a mental picture for the future. This way, when the days grow short and winter settles in, I know I can always reach back into my memory bank. Being diligent to always save something for the future is the secret for how to come through the difficult seasons of life. It's nice to know you always will have sweet peas in December. Mary Hunt is the founder of www.DebtProofLiving.c om and author of 18 books, including her best-selling classic "Debt-Proof Living." You can email her at mary@everydaycheaps kate.com, or write to Everyday Cheapskate, P.O. Box 2135, Paramount, CA 90723. unwanted or unused pre- scription drugs during the nationwide Prescrip- tion Drug Take-Back Day. The day provides and opportunity for the pub- lic to dispose of pharma- ceutical controlled sub- stances and other med- ications. These drugs are potential source of sup- ply for illegal use and an unacceptable risk to pub- lic health and safety. off location at Red Bluff Community Center park- ing lot, 1500 S. Jackson St. and at the Corning Police Department, 774 Third St., Corning. The program is anonymous and free to participants. Prescription and over the counter sold dosage medications, i.e. tablets and capsules are accept- ed. Liquid products, such as cough syrup, should remain sealed in original containers. Intravenous solutions, injectable and needles and illicit sub- stances such as marijua- na or methamphetamine are not part of the initia- tive and will not be accepted. For information, call Lt. Kyle Sanders at the Red Bluff Police Depart- ment, 527-8282 or Laura Calkins at the Corning Police Department, 824- 7015. COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check starting at $ (most cars and pick-ups) 2595 + cert. Pass or FREE retest 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St.