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Friday, April 8, 2011 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Chiding children chastise charming chap Dear Annie: My sister- in-law, ‘‘Cathy,’’ has been a widow for more than 18 months. Before her husband passed, they lost a young son in a tragic accident. Cathy recently met a divorced man through a church site for singles and is the happiest I’ve seen in a long time. The problem is her adult children. They are attacking her on Facebook with snide remarks, calling her crazy and saying she needs to be committed. We have told them their mother is happy and they should let her move on with her life, but it falls on deaf ears. I feel it is no one’s business (including these children) what Cathy chooses to do. She is anxious for the family to meet this gentle- man, and he is so taken with her that he is ready to get married after six months of church preparations. When her husband died, Cathy was in a sad situation, financially and emotionally. She is heartbroken about her children’s attitude and disrespect. What do you think? — Hoping She Finds Happiness and a Companion Dear Hoping: Unfortunately, it is not unusual for adult children to object to a parent remarrying. Chil- dren can grieve for a deceased par- ent forever and still go on with their lives. But it is horrendously unfair to expect the surviving spouse to remain locked in a mourning period that does not allow future happiness with someone else. Cathy’s children Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar hers. Dear Annie: My brother recent- ly retired. For months, I planned to surprise him at his office with a spe- cial cake I designed for the occa- sion. However, I ended up having major emergency surgery. I called a friend, a professional cake designer, who made the cake and delivered it to ‘‘Bennie’’ on his special day. That evening, Bennie called to tell me how much he appreciated the cake. I mentioned that I would love to have a piece to commemo- rate his special day. He replied, ‘‘There was a bit left, so I will be able to enjoy it for a few days.’’ Bennie has never come to see me in the weeks since surgery although he lives only 15 minutes away. He did not even think to share a small piece of cake with my husband and me to commemorate this major turning point in his life. Am I wrong to feel hurt? — Not All About the Cake Dear Not: It would have been nice for Bennie to share a piece of are being particularly nasty by publicly deriding her. However, please urge Cathy not to rush into any- thing. She is lonely and vul- nerable to marrying for the wrong reasons. She should take her time to get to know this man better, allow her children and family mem- bers to understand his char- acter, and make every effort to let all of them accept him. Of course, the final decision about marriage should be cake with you, but it was his to do with as he pleased. More important is why he hasn’t been inclined to see his sister, who recently recov- ered from major surgery. Men often respond to a more direct approach. Instead of being resentful, tell Ben- nie you miss him and wonder why he hasn’t come to see you. Dear Annie: You should tell ‘‘Ms. Frustrated’’ that the reason her parents are dressed the way they are is not only because they are comfortable in their ‘‘old’’ clothes, but because for women there are no clothes on the market that we old folks would be seen in. I am 72 years old and wear a size 8. The things that fit me are too young by 40 years and don’t go with my gray hair. I would look silly in that stuff. If my daughter doesn’t like it, it’s her problem, not mine. — Skinny Old Lady Dear Skinny: We think you should dress as you please, but an occasional update can do wonders for attitude. There are appropriate clothes for older shoppers, but you might need to look a little further afield. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. PG&E: Always call 811 before digging April is National Safe Digging Month, and Pacific Gas and Electric Company (PG&E) reminds customers to call 811 before starting any excavation project, large or small. Natural gas pipelines, electric power lines and other utilities buried underground can lie within just a few feet of the surface. Whether planting a tree, installing a sprinkler system or building a fence, home- owners and professional excavators need to know where gas and electric lines lie underground to prevent injuries, property damage and outages. Once every three min- utes nationwide, a utility line is damaged by dig- ging. Many of these inci- dents could have been prevented with a call to 811, a free service that provides important infor- mation on where utilities exist beneath excavation areas. Calling 811 puts cus- tomers in direct contact with Underground Ser- vice Alert (USA), which notifies local utility com- panies to mark the approximate location of their underground facili- ties in and around the excavation site, helping customers and contractors avoid them. Anyone can call USA from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m., Monday through Friday, except for holi- days. California law requires anyone doing excavation work to notify utilities at least two work- ing days before digging. Requests will be accepted as early as 14 days in advance of an excavation. Once a request is received, the customer or contractor will receive a list of notified utilities that may have under- ground lines in the area. PG&E offers these tips for a safe excavation: • If you believe a utili- ty may not have marked their lines, call 811 again to notify USA. • On paved surfaces, mark the proposed exca- vation area with white chalk-based paint. Home- owners can also use other white substances such as sugar or flour. • On unpaved surfaces use flags or stakes to mark the proposed exca- vation area. • Carefully hand exca- vate within 24 inches on either side of a utility- marked facility. • Be careful not to erase facility marks while working. If you cannot see the markings, call 811 and request a remarking. • 11 requests are active for 28 days. Notify USA if work continues beyond that time. • Immediately notify utilities about any type of contact or damage to its wires or pipes. • If there is any type of damage to PG&E electric wires or gas pipelines, or if there is a possible gas leak, take these steps: • Move to a safe loca- tion • Call 911 • Call PG&E at 1-800- 743-5000 For more information, visit www.call811.com. Riparian habitat restoration planting at Woodson The California Department of to River. Parks and Recreation, Northern Buttes District, is planning a habitat restoration planting for Saturday April 9 in the Corning area. Interested parties will meet at 10 a.m. at the Woodson Bridge State Recreation Area camp- ground entry kiosk, 4 miles east of Corning, east side adjacent to the County Park at the Sacramen- The Fourth Annual ‘Cinco de Wino’ wine tast- ing event is planned for May 7-8 in Manton. All the Manton wineries will be participating in this fun filled weekend; Algers, Indian Peak, Cedar Crest, Ringtail and Shasta Daisy The World Famous Palomino Room 1/2 off Lunch or Dinner entree with purchase of 1 entree must present coupon *equal or lesser value Lunch: Tues-Fri 11am-2pm Dinner: Thurs-Sat 4pm-9pm 723 Main St., Red Bluff 527-5470 www.palominoroom.com BAXTER BLACK Cowboy Humorist April 11th - 7pm State Theatre 333 Oak St. $50 VIP • $ • $ 30 Premium 25 General Tickets available @ The Loft, Sparrow’s Antiques, Red Bluff Chamber & Farmer’s Insurance 527-3092 for info. Bring lunch, water, boots, gloves. Tools and materials will be provided, but the event will be canceled if there are high winds or more than 50 percent chance of rain. Participants will carpool as a group as there is no independent access via a private easement, in higher clearance or 4WD vehi- cles into the Natural Preserve, Vineyards. The tasting rooms will be open from noon to 5 p.m. each day. Come and enjoy award When eye twitching isn’t flirtatious winking DEAR DR. GOTT: For some time now, I have had a left eye that twitches. It began mildly about five years ago and now when it occurs, it closes my left eye and distorts my face. It has proven to be a mystery to me. Owing to this problem, I am not willing to engage in some social activ- ities. One doctor told me it was not Bell’s palsy. Some of my friends tell me to think of other things to divert the spasm. then walk into the planting site about a mile. The park naturalist will talk about the area and provide con- text for the work we need your help with. Anticipated exit from the Nat- ural Preserve about 3 p.m. For more information call Jim Dempsey at 846-1435 or on April 9 Jim can be reached by cell at 990-2448. Cinco de Wine event planned in Manton winning wines, specials, food, barbecue and local artists. For information visit, visitmantonca.com. DEAR READER: Eye twitching is the involuntary movement of the eyelid. It is most commonly a harm- less annoyance that often disappears after a day or two, but on rare occasion and in the presence of facial spasms, it may indicate an early sign of a brain or movement disorder, such as Parkinsonism, Tourette syn- drome, dystonia and Bell’s palsy. Parkinsonism is a movement abnormality of Parkinson’s disease and refers to tremors, impaired speech, muscle stiffness and more. Please remember that not everyone with Parkin- sonism has Parkinson’s dis- ease. Tourette syndrome is a neurological disorder in which a person may make unusual sounds or move- ments at seemingly inap- propriate times, over which they have little or no con- trol. Dystonia represents the involuntary contraction of muscles that results in twist- ing of the involved body part. Focal dystonia can affect the muscles that con- trol blinking of the eye. Bell’s palsy, as you have likely already been told, is inflammation and swelling of the nerve that controls the facial muscles on one side of the face only. If you have been told this is not your problem, you can rule that particular disorder out and move on. Twitching has been associated with stress, eye- strain, a lack of sleep, eye irritation, fatigue, smoking or being in the presence of a smoker, physical exer- tion, a nutritional imbal- ance, allergies and the excessive use of alcohol and/or caffeine. Until an actual cause is determined, it is difficult to determine how to remedy the situa- tion. How long has it been since you have had a rou- tine examination and labo- ratory testing? Perhaps it is time. Nutritional imbal- ances can be addressed easily. Our bodies are fick- le things, and each one reacts differently. If you have an eating dis- order, tap into your local hospital’s dietary program for direction. Dr. Peter Gott My guess is that you do not wear contact lenses. If you do, you might switch to prescrip- tion glasses on a trial basis. I also recommend that you keep a journal and make a notation as to what precedes the twitching. Per- haps you or a neighbor in the next apartment is using a cleaning solution that you are particularly susceptible to. Do you have a new cat that could be to blame? Are there chemicals at work or cleaning solutions used on the floors that affect you adversely? Do you have an air freshener in your car? Do you use fabric softener when doing laundry? Is a food the element that trig- gers the spasms? Do you use scented candles in your home? There are countless possibilities that could easi- ly be to blame. Once a link has been identified, you might be on the road to recovery. Surprisingly, the most minor trigger and the one you might never con- sider could solve the annoy- ing problem you experi- ence. Start with the simple steps over which you have control before advancing. Then you can move on to relaxation techniques, Botox therapy or surgery for relief of your symptoms with your doctor’s approval. You may also wish to try soy lethicin. If you eye is still twitch- ing and if the facial distor- tion continues, then all bets are off. You should be seen by a neurologist, who can get to the bottom of the issue. Good luck. Readers who would like additional information can order my Health Report “Medical Specialists” by sending a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website’s direct link at www.AskDrGottMD.com/ order_form/pdf. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDr- GottMD.com.