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Wednesday, April 6, 2011 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Cohabitant craves connubial compassion Dear Annie: My hus- band and I have been mar- ried for 30 years. We had a wonderful sex life until the past five years. Between the medication for his high blood pressure and the pain of two hernias, his interest in me has gone right out the window. I crave some sort of Dear Annie: I need to talk to someone. No one knows about this — not even my husband of 19 years. I am now 40, and when I affection. I tried letting him know we can have some closeness without these problems getting in the way, but he just rolls over and goes to sleep. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar My husband cannot take drugs for erectile dysfunction. He also cannot take time off of work to have hernia surgery. His job might not be waiting for him when he returns. Maybe he’ll do it when he retires. I will unhappily live with my problem, but if other men see them- selves in this letter, I hope they will think about their wives once in a while. — Just Wanted To Share Dear Share: Ask your husband if you can accompany him to his next doctor’s appointment so you can discuss this and see about changes to his medication. The doc- tor might also give your husband suggestions for making your physi- cal relationship closer. You also should try talking openly and lov- ingly with your husband, explaining that affection, even without sex, can improve your relationship and make both of you happier. was a young girl, I was molested for a period of time by a hired man on the farm my dad owned. He said if I ever told anyone, he would hurt me, and I believed him. I never went to my parents. I was also raped my second year in college by a fellow classmate. He was convict- ed, and my family knows about that, as does my husband. But for some reason, I couldn’t tell anyone about the earlier molestation. I was still afraid this man was going to hurt me. Lately, I have been having night- mares about it and don’t know why. The guilt, pain and anger are eating me up inside. I don’t attend church, so I cannot speak to a pastor. And I have no close friends nearby who I would feel comfortable confiding in. Besides, how do you bring up something like this? Please help me. Should I tell my parents now? I’m afraid of saying anything to them or to my husband because it would be terribly hurtful. Why is this happening now? — A Horrible Secret Dear Secret: Sometimes these things surface when you are under stress, or in your case, you may have some form of post-traumatic stress disorder because you never dealt with the earlier abuse. Confid- ing in your husband could provide much-needed emotional support, but since this is so difficult for you, we recommend you contact RAINN (rainn.org) at 1-800-656-HOPE. Their trained counselors will help you work through this. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Forgotten in California,’’ the events coordinator who collects money for cards and cakes for office birthdays, but hers is neglected. I, for one, do not like having my birthday recognized. I am a private person and would rather not be the center of attention on my birthday. To me, it’s just another day. Addi- tionally, I do not like being hit up for money to buy other people cakes and gifts at the office. When I kind- ly communicate this to my co- workers, they give me a look as if I just committed a murder. I wish people would be more understand- ing. — Leave Me Alone in Omaha Dear Omaha: You are certainly not the only reader who feels this way, but unfortunately, not every- one in an office will find it friendly. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Swap Meet scheduled at fairgrounds Rare condition may result from migraine meds DEAR DR. GOTT: I was diag- nosed with retroperitoneal fibrosis (Ormond’s disease) following a CT scan. My family doctor has never had a patient with this condition in all of his 35 years. Can and will you com- ment, please? Dr. Peter Gott DEAR READER: I can believe your doctor hasn’t seen a patient with the con- dition. Neither have I, but then I’ve only been practic- ing for 40 years! This rare disorder may be due to an unknown cause or secondary to a number of causes, including radiation therapy, cancer, infections and drugs, or this may have been triggered by the long- term use of medications such as methysergide, beta- blockers, bromocriptine, methyldopa and some anal- gesias. The disease occurs when extra fibrous tissue blocks the tubes that carry urine from the kidneys to the bladder, preventing the urine from flowing normally. There are many ways this disease can present, such as with swelling and discol- oration of one leg and pain in the abdomen that can increase in intensity over time. As the disease pro- gresses and without treat- ment, urine output may decrease or cease altogether, and there may be nausea, vomiting and internal hem- orrhage. Treatment for Ormond’s is typically begun with cor- ticosteroids or tamoxifen, a drug used to treat breast cancer or to reduce the risk of breast cancer in high-risk patients. Should these treat- ments be ineffective, surgery and drain tubes may be required. The prognosis is dependent on the extent of the disease, the amount of damage to the kidneys (which may be minor and temporary) and the cause (if it is secondary). Involve the care of your primary-care physician, a urologist and perhaps a nephrologist with knowl- edge of this unusual disor- der. Readers who would like related information should send for my Health Report “Kidney Disorders” by sending a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newslet- ter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website’s direct link at www.AskDrGottMd.com/o rder_form.pdf. DEAR DR. GOTT: My feet are rough, and the skin sometimes hurts, catching on my carpet. Can you please tell me what to use? I’ve tried so many different products without success. DEAR READER: When you refer to your feet, I interpret that to mean your heels, which can form thick skin, split, and be difficult to manage. Initially, and as long as there are no open ulcers, I might begin with a pumice stone, which can be pur- chased at your local phar- macy. Some even have a handle and resemble a hairbrush. Soak your feet in warm water to which iodized table salt or Epsom salt has been added. Rub the pumice over the affect- ed areas to remove excess burrs and dry skin. Have a pair of white cotton socks readily available. Pat your feet dry, and apply a petro- leum-based ointment such as Bag Balm or Vicks over the appropriate areas of your feet. Slip your feet into the socks, and leave the socks on overnight until the ointment can be absorbed. By morning, your feet should be softer and relatively free of pain. You might need to follow the process several times a week until things are back under control and might wish to consider a weekly regimen to ensure you have conquered the prob- lem. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Courtesy photo Destination Tehama Branding Effort is planning a Community Swap Meet 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, April 30, at the Tehama District Fairground — the same day as Children's Fair. All proceeds from vendor registration for the swap meet will go to the branding project. Booth space is $20 for 10x12, $30 for 10x12 with an adjacent vehicle. Service club row is available for $200 and can hold as many club members as can fit in the row. Bring tables and chairs, no electricity. Set up begins at 6 a.m., first come first served. Pick up more information and an application at the Red Bluff-Tehama County Chamber of Commerce, 100 Main St., Business Connections, 332 Pine St. or the fairgrounds. Community Clip? e-mail: clerk@red- bluffdailynews.com BAXTER BLACK Cowboy Humorist April 11th - 7pm State Theatre 333 Oak St. $50 VIP • $ • $ 30 Premium 25 General Tickets available @ The Loft, Sparrow’s Antiques, Red Bluff Chamber & Farmer’s Insurance 527-3092 for info. WE STAND BEHIND YOUR RETURN. GUARANTEED. ©2010 HRB Tax Group, Inc. 1315 Solano St, Corning, CA 96021 530-824-7999 120 Bell Mill Road, Red Bluff, CA 96080 530-527-7515 Mon-Fri 9 am to 7 pm www.redbluffroundup.com Visit us on facebook (530) 527-1000 1-800-545-3500 Visit us at: 1921 ~ 2011 FOR BEST SELECTION CALL NOW!!! APRIL 15, 16, 17, 2011 TICKET OFFICE NOW OPEN “Honey, when we get back home, let’s look into choosing a Realtor to find us some acreage with a house on it.” FRIDAY FAMILY 4 PACK $25 Bring in this ad & receive 1 pair of Red Bluff Round-Up Gloves with ticket pruchase. Enchanted visitors can become our new neighbors. You know some who’ve done it.