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4B – Daily News – Tuesday, March 22, 2011 FEATURES Stepson strains social security Dear Annie: I am having a prob- lem and don’t know what to do. Please do not sug- gest counseling, because I tried, and my wife won’t even consider it. We married 17 years ago. Both of us were in our mid-50s. She had two grown chil- dren, and I had none. There wasn’t supposed to be any baggage coming into this mar- riage. However, a few months after our wedding, her son’s wife kicked him out for cheating — with both men and women. For the past 10 years, we have had nothing but problems with this guy. He is a drunken bum, and I suspect he is doing hard drugs now. He has had a few jobs, none for very long. His massive temper gets him fired every time. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar We are retired on Social Security and my military pension. For some reason, this 51-year-old guy thinks I should support him. He lives in my travel trailer and draws food stamps. He takes enough odd jobs to pay for his bad habits, but regardless of how much he earns, he is back over here needing money for gas or groceries, and of course, Mommy will not say no. She enables him and makes excuses for everything he does. As a result, we fight continuously. My stepson is eligible for med- ical care at the VA. He is HIV-posi- tive and uses that as the reason he is a loser. But when you blow several hundred dollars in three days, there is something wrong. We are at the point of divorce. Any suggestions? — Marriage on the Rocks Dear Marriage: Some parents believe that enabling their children is a way to help them. It is not. It enfeebles them and makes them dependent. However, unless you can convince your wife of this, the situ- ation will not change. Your choice is to give up or walk away. If you want to see a counselor for help with that decision, your wife does not need to go with you. We also suggest you urge your stepson to take advantage of the counseling and medical ser- vices offered through the VA. Dear Annie: I am a high school student. I’ve tried asking others what to do, but no one will listen to me. At school, there are some boys who think it’s funny to call me ugly and fat, and to curse at me. I have no idea what to do. I’ve talked to the counselors at school, but I keep feel- ing maybe everyone would be better off if I just left. Please help. — Hurt Dear Hurt: This is a textbook case of bullying, and the school counselors should be doing more to stop it. Please talk to your parents, and ask them to speak to the princi- pal and insist that the school inter- vene. In the meantime, hold your head up, ignore these immature boys, and check out kidpower.org, kidshealth.org and stopbullying- now.hrsa.gov for helpful sugges- tions. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Wisconsin,’’ the widow whose friends all showed up for the funeral, but now have disappeared from her life. I had the same problem. I put an ad in the local paper asking widows and single ladies to contact me to start a social group. The response was terrific. We called ourselves the SOLOS and had a meeting every month to talk and have outings. We became a tight-knit group, devel- oped strong friendships and helped each other out in every way. That was nine years ago, and our group is still growing. Tell Wisconsin that widowhood doesn’t have to be lonely. She sim- ply needs to work on changing her social structure. Also, she might check to see if there is a Newcomers Club in her area. That is a great group for singles, as well as cou- ples. — Alone and Happy in North Carolina Dear N.C.: What an empower- ing idea. Perhaps others in the same situation will follow your lead. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Honors set for Wildflower Weekend California Garden Clubs, Inc. Landscape Council will present two Landscape Design Com- mendations during the Wildflower Weekend, April 1 to 3, in Oroville to designers of the land- scape at the Lodge at Feather Falls Casino. Joie Raymond, Con- sultant, Mary Lou Good- win, Council Chairman of California Garden Clubs, Inc. and a panel of Landscape Design Con- sultants have chosen this project as an example of good land use and as an asset to the community. Maryanne Lucas, CGCI President, will be making the presentations to Tony Archulata, direc- Tues. & Wed., March 22-23 Used Book Sale 10:00 am - 4:00 pm Warde McAuley, call 736-1326 Wed. 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Founded in 1931, CGCI is an all-volunteer, not-for-profit organiza- tion that offers extensive educational programs and resources to promote gardening, floral design, civic beautification, environmental responsi- bility, and the exchange of information and ideas. For more information on CGCI, visit www.Cal- iforniaGardenClubs.org. Respecting People. Impacting Business Call us. And get back to work. 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He produces too many red blood cells. Tell me what to expect in your expert opinion. Our doctors don’t tell us too much, except that he should be OK. DEAR READER: as a side effect of the poly- cythemia. He should Dr. Peter Gott Polycythemia vera is a blood disorder in which bone marrow produces too many red blood cells. In some cases, it may also cause an overproduction of white blood cells and platelets. Whatever the reason, an excess of red blood cells causes the blood to thicken. Your husband may have had the condition for a number of years without ever know- ing it. It’s likely he either finally developed symp- toms or had laboratory work performed for anoth- er reason or as part of a routine annual examina- tion. As the disorder pro- gresses, patients develop symptoms and may expe- rience headaches, fatigue, dizziness, shortness of breath, tingling of the extremities and more. Blood is composed of three types of cells and a liquid known as plasma. The cells are erythrocytes (red blood cells) that carry oxygen throughout the body, white blood cells that fight infection and platelets that help the blood to clot. Under ordi- nary circumstances, the body regulates blood cells and the ratio of each type within the body; however, in cases such as your hus- band’s, that control becomes impaired, and his bone marrow is producing an abnormal amount of specific cells. His blood test likely revealed an elevated level of hemoglobin and hemat- ocrit, a low level of ery- thropoietin (a kidney hor- mone that stimulates the development of red blood cells in bone marrow) and oxygen levels lower than the normal range found in healthy people. Treatment may include medications to suppress his bone marrow’s ability to produce those blood cells, the use of low-dose aspirin, drawing off blood to reduce his blood vol- ume and the number of blood cells he has (phle- botomy), and a recom- mendation by his physi- cian or hematologist for an antihistamine, H2 receptor blocker or ultraviolet-light treatment to reduce any itching he may experience avoid tempera- ture extremes and the use of tobacco, exer- cise as much as his physician allows and be sure to watch for skin ulcers, particularly of the hands and feet, which can result from poor circulation. Readers who would like additional information can order my Health Report “Blood: Donations & Disorders” by sending a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newslet- ter, P.O. Box 167, Wick- liffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website’s direct link at www.AskDrGottMD.com /order_form.pdf. DEAR DR. GOTT: I have a low pulse. What are the causes and the cure? DEAR READER: The normal heart beats between 60 and 100 times per minute when at rest. Lower rates in young peo- ple and athletes can be an indication of being physi- cally fit through a training regimen. Other causes of bradycardia (a low pulse) are attributed to coronary- artery disease, hypothy- roidism, an electrolyte imbalance, the use of some medications, such as those taken for hyperten- sion, or, rarely, endocardi- tis or infection. Treatment depends on the cause. Without symp- toms, your physician may choose to monitor you. If medication is involved, he or she may switch you to another brand. If there is damage to your heart’s electrical system, pace- maker insertion may be appropriate. On the home front, limit your alcohol intake, discontinue smoking, eat a low-salt, healthful diet, and exercise as much as your physician allows or recommends. Above all — follow his or her advice regarding follow-up care. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com.