Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/266593
FEB. 26 - MARCH 4, 2014, 2014 UCW 19 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Pamper Resistant After six years with a lazy and ambitionless boyfriend, I found a funny, loyal, caring boyfriend I love, with a solid career and a good work ethic. He pays his share of our bills and even does our laundry! The problem is, at 28, he is SO incredibly spoiled by his parents. They are well-off and pay for his car insurance, randomly deposit $200 in his bank account (about once monthly), and even bought him new snow tires! He has made headway on small issues I've brought up, like cooking more than bachelor- type foods and playing video games less, but he says, "I'm not calling my parents and demanding they stop paying for my insurance, if that's something they want to do." Well, I can't feel we're in a marriage-potential relationship while he isn't fully self- sufficient. I worry that we'll have kids and he'll still be getting assistance from mommy and daddy. As an independent person who pays all her own bills, I want my man to do the same and to want to be independent from his parents, as well. Momma's Boy's Girlfriend I get where you're coming from. When I was in my late teens, I was hot to be completely independent from my parents. Now that I'm in my late 40s, I wish my parents would get high on LSD and start paying my bills. Just because your boyfriend's parents give him cash and snow tires doesn't mean he's spoiled. Pediatrician Bruce J. McIntosh, who coined the term "spoiled child syndrome," explains that what makes a kid "spoiled" is not parental indulgence but parental overindulgence, meaning parents' failure to set clear limits and expectations. McIntosh writes in the journal Pediatrics that overindulgent parents attempt "to meet the child's complex developmental needs with material gifts and uncritical acceptance while failing to provide essential guidelines for acceptable behavior." The fact that his parents pay for his car insurance is unlikely to cause a good guy, apparently raised with appropriate boundaries, to snap. What his parents are doing actually seems smart: giving him his inheritance while they're still around to see him enjoying it. Ultimately, the fairest, most sensible way to assess whether you have anything to worry about is to coolly examine the evidence. Look at the kind of guy your boyfriend has shown himself to be, and then project that guy into scenarios in your future together. I suspect you'll find that this loyal, loving, hardworking guy will continue to be all of those things and that you can rest assured that his plan for paying the kiddies' private-school tuition won't involve a truckload of lottery scratchers or a ski mask and a shotgun. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19)When things are going well and the weather is fair, you will enjoy yourself, all the while cognizant that the mettle of mankind can't be tested in temperate conditions. Heroes are made in the heat of the moment. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Can you entertain a thought that you don't really believe? It doesn't make you foolish; it makes you intellectually versatile, educated or possibly in love. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) If you felt like coming up with an excuse, it would take you no time to think of it. But such thinking could easily become a bad habit. Most people want to know why, but nobody wants to hear the excuse. CANCER (June 22-July 22) Your need for attention is stronger than usual, and you may surprise yourself with what you're willing to do to get it. Promises could fly out of your mouth if you're not careful. When in doubt, hold back. Don't agree to anything. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)You're not imagining things. Those who express their displeasure indirectly are still expressing their displeasure. This is dysfunctional, and you won't be able to move forward until you get to the root of it. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Popular people can be powerful at times, but strictly speaking, popularity is not power. If you don't have group support or approval for what you want to do, but it feels right to you, do it anyway. It's likely to be your power move. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23)Give yourself a pat on the back for all that went right yesterday. Enjoy the sense of relief that comes. The hard part is over, and now you can relax into whatever the day brings. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Aim your ideas at people who seem like they have plenty of ideas of their own. An excitable, high-energy person is more likely to say "yes" than a cool, bored type of person. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) When love is strong in you, as it is right now, you can forgive, and it's not that big of a deal to do so, even if you have to forgive the same action over and over before the other person finally gets it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)You don't have to impress anyone. Be careful not to dangle a proverbial carrot on a stick in front of a person unless you really plan to give that person the carrot in the end. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You could get caught up in the spirit of competition. Channel it into work instead of relationships. Singles: There's nothing to be gained from stealing a heart, so aim to win it fair and square. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Some urge not to "sweat the small stuff," and others insist that the little things are what make the difference between an ordinary and an extraordinary existence. Happiness depends on finding your own balance in this. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The semi-obscure Florida Statute 790.15 took center stage in January following a Miami Herald report of a resident of the town of Big Pine Key who routinely target-shoots his handgun in his yard, with impunity, to the consternation of neighbors. The statute permits open firing on private property (except shooting over a public right of way or an occupied dwelling), and several cities have tried, unsuccessfully, to restrict that right, citing "public safety" in residential neighborhoods. (A 2011 lobbying campaign by the National Rifle Association, and a state supreme court decision, nixed any change in the law.) "Negligent" shooting is illegal, but only a misdemeanor. Thus, even skillful shooting next door to a day care center or in a small yard that abuts a high-trafficked pedestrian street is likely perfectly legal. One Florida legislator who was originally from Alaska noted that even in Anchorage people cannot fire at will in their yards. [Miami Herald, 1-26-2014] Cultural Diversity South Korea is a well-known hub for cosmetic beautification surgery, with a higher rate per capita than the U.S., but the procedures can be expensive, inspiring many young women recently to resort to do-it-yourself procedures for their professional and romantic upgrades. A December Global Post dispatch noted that some might try to force their eyes to stay open without blinking (using a novel $20 pair of glasses for hours on end) as a substitute for costly "double-eyelid" surgery. Also in use: a $6 jaw-squeezing roller device for the face to push the jaw line into a fashionable "oval" form. One teen told the reporter she applies an imaginative contraption to her face for hours a day to pressure her nose into more of a point, which is considered a desirable Western look. [Global Post (Boston) via Denver Post, 12-19-2013] -Acquired Tastes: (1) In December, thieves in Wicklow, Ireland, raided a convent's field at the Dominican Farm and Ecology Center, stripping it of its entire crop of Brussels sprouts. A nun at the farm said the sisters were devastated to miss out on the lucrative market for high-end Christmas dinners. (2) In January, Wal-Mart in China recalled its "Five Spice" donkey meat sold in some locations because the popular snack was found to be tainted -- with fox meat. [Irish Independent, 12-5-2013] [Reuters, 1-2- 2014] COPYRIGHT 2011 CHUCK SHEPHERD Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard For the Week of January Jan. 27, 2014 By Holiday Mathis Talk Line: 910-864-6400 Local News, Weather, Traffi c & Sports Good Morning Fayetteville with Goldy & Jim Weekday Mornings 6-10 a.m. W