Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/26294
2B – Daily News – Thursday, March 3, 2011 Punishing parent pursues patience Patient has uncontrolled seizures Dear Annie: I am a 28-year-old mother of two beautiful girls, ages 8 and 2. I have a problem controlling my anger, and I take out all of my frus- trations on my girls. When some- thing is done wrong or not fast enough, or when my 8-year-old talks back, I lose it. When talking and screaming don’t work, I’ve spanked her and slapped hands. My older daughter is afraid of me. Is there any help out there for me? I don’t want to blame others for my actions, but could this have anything to do with the way I was brought up? I was beaten with a belt, spanked and slapped. I thought I would grow up to be nothing like my par- ents, but I was wrong. I feel lost. I want to be able to have a great rela- tionship with my girls, not like the nonexistent one I have with my parents. Please help me fix this. — Maria in Texas Dear Maria: You are taking the right steps. You recognize that you have a problem and are asking for help. It is often true that parents revert to the way they were raised, and if physical and verbal abuse were commonplace when you were growing up, you could resort to those same tactics with your children. You can change, however, with some training and mind- fulness. Your local YMCA or park district may offer parenting class- es to help you learn how to respond more appropri- Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar ately and lovingly to your children. Also check with your doctor, cler- gy and local social service agencies. Your children are too precious to let your anger get the better of you. Dear Annie: I am bisexual and don’t know how to tell my family, especially my mother. They say it’s against God, but I can’t help who I am. I told one of my best friends, and she told me she felt the same way. Please help me talk to my family about this. — Bi in the Boonies Dear Bi: Don’t be in too big of a hurry to make any announcements. It is not uncommon for young people to be temporarily confused about their sexu- ality, including being attracted to both sexes. It does not necessarily indi- cate that you are gay, straight or bisexual. PFLAG (pflag.org) can help you figure this out and find ways to discuss your sexual orientation with your parents. Please contact them. Dear Annie: I believe you misread the concerns of ‘‘Son who is Wonder- ing,’’ who said his father constantly touches him during conversations. While the son didn’t tell us everything, he did say that his father ignores obvious attempts to main- tain personal space and even ‘‘flew into a rage’’ when the son moved out of range. It should be acknowl- edged that the father’s behavior is creepy, disre- spectful and maybe obses- sive-compulsive. It sounds like the son has fought this battle for a long time, and his father continues to be unable to respect his son’s basic requests, which has creat- ed a rift. I love my parents, but would not tolerate them constantly touching me, especially if they were touching my leg with theirs. Hugs, shoulder slaps, handshakes, etc., are fine because they are brief. We all have the right to define and protect our personal space. Maybe if the son understands why his father cannot restrain himself, then, hopefully, a solution will present itself. — My Space, My Rules Dear My Space: We agree that something about this situation seems off-kilter. The son object- ed primarily to Dad pok- ing him on the arm when speaking to him, which strikes us as more of a control issue, reinforced by the fact that the prob- lem began when the son reached his teens. But you are right that one’s per- sonal space should be respected, even by par- ents, and we, too, hope the two of them can work out what’s going on and find a solution. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: My 20- year-old granddaughter was diagnosed with Dandy-Walker syndrome at the age of 2. By the time she was 12, she had mild hydrocephalus and petit- mal seizures. We have tried antiseizure medications, which have not worked. Some meds have put her in a mental-health facility. She was also given Haldol, which made her cata- tonic. She had an acute reac- tion. She has a pediatric neurologist, but I feel that without any progress, this is as far as he can go. She has been going to him since she was 22 months old. have normal cognition, while others don’t. Longevity depends on the severity of the disorder. On a brighter note, research is ongoing and sup- port groups are available. Because you are having dif- Dr. Peter Gott ficulties controlling her seizures, I recommend that a neurologist familiar with the disorder examine her. She cer- tainly needs to have her seizures brought under control with appropriate medication. Check with your local hospital to determine the location of a teaching facility near you. Good luck. I suggest you contact the Dandy- She was withdrawn from all med- ications two weeks ago, and all that she has been prescribed for a headache before her seizures was Tylenol and Ativan, which she takes following a seizure. She had three seizures on Sat- urday and one on Sunday. Thank you for any help you can provide. DEAR READER: Dandy-Walker syndrome is a rare congenital brain malformation that involves the back of the brain and the fluid-filled spaces that surround it. The brain contains four ventricles, which are filled with cerebrospinal fluid. Features that gen- erally occur in early infancy include enlargement of only the fourth ventri- cle, partial or complete absence of the portion of the brain between the two cerebellar hemispheres and the forma- tion of cysts near the internal base of the skull. For older children, features and symptoms can include convul- sions, unsteadiness, jerky eye move- ments, a bulge at the back of the skull and problems with nerves that control breathing, the face, neck and eyes. The primary treatment for the condition is the placement of a shunt positioned in the brain to help drain excess cere- brospinal fluid to the peritoneal cavity, where it is absorbed into the body. Some children recover completely fol- lowing shunt placement. For others, a lesser degree of progress is seen. Up to 90 percent of all Dandy-Walker patients have hydrocephalus, an increase in cerebrospinal fluid sur- rounding the brain. The effects of the syndrome vary from person to person. Some children Walker Alliance at 10325 Kensington Parkway, Suite 384, Kensington, MD 20895 or online at www.dandy-walk- er.org for their input. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Medical Specialists.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: I have had verti- go for several months. I’m on Meclizine right now, but need help. DEAR READER: Vertigo is the sen- sation your environment is spinning or moving around you. An inner-ear dis- order, an acoustic neuroma, the sudden movement of your head in a certain direction, Meniere’s disease, migraine headaches, arteriosclerosis, diabetes and more can cause the condition. Make an appointment with your doctor for an examination and testing. He can zero in on the cause, make a referral if necessary, and get you back on track. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com Stocks edge higher on jobs news, Fed survey NEW YORK (AP) — Stocks edged higher Wednesday after a sur- prisingly strong report on hiring by private compa- nies raised hopes that the job market may be improving. Traders remained con- cerned about the latest spike in oil prices as Libya’s internal conflict deepened. Crude settled above $102 a barrel for the first time since Sept. 2008. Worries about the impact of high oil prices on the U.S. economy have recently sent stocks lower. Payroll processor ADP said private employers added 217,000 jobs last month, well above the 180,000 analysts had pre- dicted. That raised hopes that the government’s employment report com- ing up Friday could show a decline in the unem- ployment rate, which is currently 9 percent. The Federal Reserve also reported that the U.S. economy expanded broadly over the last two months. All 12 regions covered by the survey reported ‘‘modest to mod- erate’’ growth, including a pickup in retail sales. The Dow Jones indus- trial average rose 8.78 points, or 0.1 percent, to close at 12,066.80. The S&P 500 rose 2.11, or 0.2 percent, to 1,308.44. Both the Dow and the S&P 500 wavered between gains and losses throughout the day. The Nasdaq composite gained 10.66 points, or 0.4 percent, to 2,748.07. The escalating conflict in Libya resulted in a surge in crude oil prices over the last week and volatility in global finan- cial markets. U.S. stocks fell sharply on Tuesday after Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said that higher oil prices could threaten the pace of the economic recovery ‘‘When you look at the stock market any given day it’s hard to isolate cause and effect, but today we don’t have that problem,’’ said Lawrence Creatura, a portfolio man- ager at Federated Investors. ‘‘Investors will have one eye on oil prices for quite some time.’’ Retail companies reported mixed earnings reports before the market opened. Costco Whole- sale Corp. fell 2.5 percent after reporting earnings that met expectations. Apple Inc. rose almost 1 percent after the compa- ny’s CEO, Steve Jobs, briefly emerged from a medical leave to intro- duce the second genera- tion of its iPad tablet computer. Rising stocks outnum- bered falling ones two-to- one on the New York Stock Exchange. Trading volume was 1 billion.