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4B – Daily News – Saturday, January 29, 2011 FEATURES Wondering why widows warrant withdrawal Dear Annie: My hus- band died suddenly at the age of 46. For the first few months, you’re in shock and have lots of life-alter- ing decisions to make. Sim- ple tasks become over- whelming. I expected friends to be there to help, but I found out through talking with many widows that this is not the case. I have always tried to be there for my friends, listen- ing to their problems over a long period of time, helping with packing and moving, home repair projects, gardening, hobbies, etc. So why is it so hard for them to figure out what I might need help with? I know some of my friends sim- ply don’t know what to say to me, but it hurts that all communication stopped. How hard can it be to send an e-mail asking how I am doing or to drop by with a casserole? Grief takes time to work through. Just because it’s been two months does- n’t mean things are all right. Everyone is there for the funeral, but not after. Could you offer your readers some suggestions of ways they could help a grieving person? — Wisconsin Dear Wisconsin: This is a ques- tion we get every so often. Many people are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, but support and contact are appreciated. It’s perfect- ly OK to say, ‘‘I don’t know what to say.’’ It is important to listen with- out judging or telling the bereaved person how they should be feeling. In case you missed the last couple columns, we've been putting on Just Move It Events every month. Just Move It is a national campaign to encourage Native Ameri- cans to be more physically active. We encourage peo- ple of all cul- tures and ages to participate as well. When my friend Renee Tim- mons and I started out as Just Move It partners last year, we were happy just to get a few walkers and runners out there to participate. It was exciting to be able to have the Native American Heavyweight champ make a special appearance at our December event. Also, my boxing coach, Manuel Whatley, and his son, Junior, participated. Both have Native Ameri- can blood, and Junior Everyone handles grief dif- ferently. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Often, the bereaved per- son is reluctant to ask for help. Friends can make this easier by offering. Call and say, ‘‘I’m going to the gro- cery store. What do you need?’’ or ‘‘I made a roast for dinner and I have extra. When should I bring it over?’’ Here are some sugges- tions from the American Hospice Association: Shop for groceries or run errands; drop off a casserole or other type of food; stay in their home to take phone calls and receive guests; help with insurance forms or bills; take care of housework, such as cleaning or laundry; watch their children or pick them up from school; drive them wherever they need to go; look after their pets; go with them to a support group meeting; accom- pany them on a walk; take them to lunch or a movie; share an enjoy- able activity (game, puzzle, art pro- ject). Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for eight years. We each have teenage children from previous relationships. Both sets of grandparents are alive and well. When gift-giving time comes, my wife’s parents give equally to all the grandchildren. My parents, howev- er, give more to their biological grandchildren, even in front of the other kids. Our children haven’t made an issue of it, but they clearly notice. Avery brought out his sage for a smudging ceremony prior to the event. This is where you light the sage and use your hand(s) to draw the smoke over your body (head, heart, limbs....) in order to cleanse and prepare for the event. We had a small cir- cle of people join us and all had favorable responses to it. For our Janu- Vilche Fitness Buff ary event, we did not have to luxury of hav- ing Junior and Manuel to lead the ceremony. I did have some sage and was able to offer this to those who wanted to smudge themselves before they ran/walked. It's a nice way to tie it back to the purpose of the event- which is to encourage Native Amer- icans to come out and join us and support a healthy lifestyle. One of my friends brought her daughter out Daily News Home Delivery Customers! I have spoken to my parents, but they are firm in their conviction that only one is a grandchild and the other is a step-grandchild. It’s putting a strain on our relationship with my parents. It’s not about the gifts, only the equality. Am I crazy? — Upset Dad Dear Dad: Of course not. Your parents are sowing discontent, but you cannot make them less biased. Your choices are: Explain to your children that this is simply how they are, sorry; return all gifts until they get the message; even it out in some other way yourself. We think the kids are old enough to understand the grandparents. Dear Annie: Like ‘‘Confused,’’ I, too, live with a husband who is verbally abusive and dislikes being touched. We have both been retired for almost 40 years, and it is a lot like being in prison, especially now that he is 87 and requires care. Fortunately, I have family near- by, but I’d definitely advise anyone in my position to seriously consider whether they want to spend the rest of their life like this. — Cold in Maine Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Just movin’ it to walk, so she could participate in the smudg- ing and get in touch with her Native roots. They made it over 2 miles. We had a lady come out who was using a walker. She managed to complete a route that was over 1 mile on that walker, and she wasn't even out of breath when she got back. Talk about inspiring! I found out after the event that this friend of mine had been trying to encourage her husband to walk for quite some time. His doctor wanted him to be more physical- ly active. He refused, telling her he didn't want to go alone. He decided to come to our first walk and hasn't missed one since. He is also walking over 1 mile every day on his own now. That alone would make it all worth it. It feels so good to know that we have helped someone start walking everyday. A huge thank you to Red Bluff Health and Fitness for the 1 week passes that they gave out to all the participants. What a great incentive! We plan on having D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY THE VOICE OF TEHAMA COUNT Y SINCE 1885 ONLINE E-EDITION IS REGISTER NOW! Sign up by February 1, 2011 and avoid any future charges for e-edition access as long as you are a home delivery subscriber. It’s our way of saying THANK YOU for Subscribing to the Daily News print edition! • Access every page of the Daily News print edition from any computer, 24/7 • Access back editions to December, 2009 • Open, print, email and copy stories and ads! FREE REGISTRATION IS EASY! Just go to the online edition portal at www.redbluffdailynews.com or type this URL into your browser www.epageflip.net/title/5441 Not a home delivery subscriber? Go to the same location online for online-only subscription information Watch the Daily News for the upcoming Pet Page coming out the last Saturday of each month. To place an ad on this page, please call your ad representative Sue Hubbard at 530-527-2151 ext. 122 these events on the 3rd Friday of each month. The next one will start at Grocery Outlet at 11:30 on Feb. 18. Please try to come- even if it's only on your lunch hour. Lot's of my co-workers have been able to make it out, go for a walk or run and be back to work within an hour. Again, I am very grateful to Rolling Hills Casino and The Red Bluff Daily News for all their support and adver- tisement. As for fighter updates, Thomas Ballard fought his opponent in Salinas on January 8th. It went all three rounds, and there was lots of action. Thomas was able to use all his skills, his stand up and his ground game. The fight went to a decision, and the deci- sion went to his oppo- nent. It happens. If you don't knock them out or tap them out, you leave the decision to the judges. Ah well, I am still very proud of Thomas. He gave it his all and came out unscathed. Our grapplers may have a couple of tourna- ments in April. If anyone is interested in sponsor- ing a PAL grappler, please let me know. The kids are training really hard and enjoy the com- petitions. Avery Vilche is a profes- sional MMA fighter, PAL coach and fitness instruc- tor. She has her BA in physical education and a certificate in exercise physiology from Chico State. She teaches at Red Bluff Health and Fitness and Body Projex. She can be reached at vilcheav- ery@yahoo.com. Medication may be to blame for excessive urination DEAR DR. GOTT: I urinate four to five times a night and almost every hour or more during the day. I have seen urolo- gists and have been tested, with negative results. My body and prostate are OK. I have high blood pressure, which is under control with Norvasc. I have tried all kinds of pre- scription medicine: Sanc- tura, Toviaz, Uroxatral, Elmiron, Hyomax, imipramine, amitriptyline. I am currently taking DDAVP. Nothing has worked. I had various bladder and kidney tests. What do you suggest? I have to be careful when I travel, and I love to travel. Thank you. DEAR READER: You have undergone what appears to be extensive testing and trial of several medications. I don’t know that there is much left to recommend that you haven’t already done. However, I believe I may have found the culprit — Norvasc. Between 0.1 percent and 1 percent of users may experience increased thirst, nocturia (nighttime urgency), micturition dis- orders (voiding abnormali- ties) or micturition fre- quency (urinating more frequently than normal but passing 2,500 milliliters or less of urine per day). Less than 0.1 percent of users may experience dysuria (painful or difficult urina- tion) or polyuria, passing excessive (2,500 milliliters or more per day) quantities of urine. Speak with the physi- cian who prescribed the medication, and request a trial of another medication in a different class to con- trol your blood pressure. If the medication is to blame, you should start to see improvement within a few days to a few weeks of stopping it. As a matter of refer- ence, a normal bladder can hold between 300 and 400 milliliters of urine. On average, a person urinates four to five times during the day and up to once at night, passing approxi- mately 2,500 milliliters of urine each day. Problems arise when fluid levels are increased, causing more urination; fluid levels decrease, causing less uri- nation and possible dehy- dration; the bladder mus- cles weaken or signals to the brain become scram- bled and a host of other malfunctions can occur. Speak with your physi- cian and, in the meantime, limit your fluid consump- tion, especially before bed, to reduce the amount of urine your body is produc- ing. Be sure to avoid dehy- dration, however. To provide related information, I am sending you copies of my Health Reports “Consumer Tips on Medicine” and “Blad- der and Urinary Tract Infections.” Other readers Dr. Peter Gott who would like copies should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wick- liffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title(s) or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: The only answer to my ques- tion that I find in written materials or on Internet sites is always the same: eight glasses of water per day. That across-the-board answer doesn’t seem to take weight into account. A friend of mine weighs 280 pounds, and I weigh 140. Having twice the flesh that I do, shouldn’t he be consuming, on aver- age, about twice the water that I should? Is there some general equation for average daily water con- sumption that is weight- dependent? DEAR READER: Peo- ple are too hung up on drinking a specific amount of water each day. The rule used to be eight 8-ounce glasses every day. Now there is some debate about that. My recommendation is typically to drink as much or as little as your thirst dictates; however, that is not specific enough for some people who want, it seems, a blueprint for healthy living down to the number of glasses of water to drink or the num- ber of times a day they need to defecate. It’s just plain silly. Everyone is dif- ferent, so what each per- son requires to be healthy is different. What is nor- mal for me is not normal for you. With that in mind, and to the best of my knowl- edge, there is no weight- to-water equation. Drink if you’re thirsty; don’t if you’re not. If that isn’t good enough, try drink- ing enough water so that, when you urinate, it is a pale yellow color. This will ensure that you are taking in enough water to aid the kidneys in flush- ing toxins and waste from the body and maintaining a normal electrolyte bal- ance. (Certain vitamins or medications can influ- ence the color of the urine.) Keep in mind that it is possible to drink too much water. This will cause a potentially life-threatening condition known as water intoxication. It occurs when a person drinks an excessive amount of water in a short span of time (usually over a few hours), resulting in an electrolyte imbalance that causes the water in the blood to migrate to cells. These cells then swell. If this occurs in the brain, there is no place for the cells to stretch and can result in brain damage, seizures, coma, respiratory distress and even death. Is your gym just not “working out”? Feel like you’ve hardly made any progress this year? Try Tehama Family Fitness Center, where your success is our success! Our members get results because we care! Tehama Family Fitness Center is focused on assisting members in accomplishing their goals. Try us out for free. You haven’t tried until you’ve tried us! Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Try Tehama County’s Premier Fitness Facility for free! You will need at least 3 visits to experience what our 30,000 sq.ft full service facility has to offer! • Classes • New and improved cardio sections • Strength train with the finest resistance equipment in Tehama County! Tehama Family Fitness Center 2498 South Main St • Red Bluff 528-8656 www.tehamafamilyfitness.com subscription to the Your FREE a e P g