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Monday, January 17, 2011 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Family’s favoritism frustrates female Dear Annie: I’ve been married to ‘‘Nate’’ for 16 years. He is wonderful, but blind to the way his family behaves. These people have never been particularly warm toward me or my children from my first mar- riage. Nate and I have a child together, and they treat her with the same indifference. They give the other grandchildren expen- sive toys for Christmas, and ours get junk. The favoritism now extends to the great- grandchildren. I’ve tried to be nice about their treatment, but a person can only take so much. I told Nate I’ve had it with his family, but he says that’s just the way they are. Nate is the only son in a family of Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Dear Isolated: Nate is permitting his family to take advantage of him and treat you poorly. Unfortunately, he is not willing to take the necessary steps to change that dynamic. You can man- age to put up with his family at major events like wed- dings and perhaps once a year during the holidays. Otherwise, if Nate wants to take the children and spend time with his family, fine, but we see no reason for you to go along. Tell him his folks will have a better time without you, and then make other plans. Dear Annie: I have been seeing five siblings. His youngest sister has spread rumors about how ‘‘lazy’’ I am because I don’t work outside the home. His parents and all his sib- lings are the most helpless people I’ve ever seen. If anything breaks, they are on the phone to Nate imme- diately, expecting him to fix it. If he doesn’t jump right on it, they com- plain that he took too long. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am guilted into spending family gatherings with them, and it’s easier to go and be ignored than to upset Nate. I would never allow my par- ents to treat Nate this way. How do I get it through his head that his fam- ily has hurt my feelings long enough and I want nothing more to do with them? — Isolated by the In-Laws ‘‘Dennis’’ for some time, and now we are living together. Dennis tends to stay out extremely late two or three nights a week. I have told him that I find this disrespectful and inconsiderate. There are also women who call him in the middle of the night. He claims he is not cheating, but this behavior has strained our relation- ship. He refuses to give up this part of his life. I don’t mind that he hangs out with his friends, but the odd hours bother me. He is not interest- ed in counseling, and I am emotion- ally ill over him not taking our rela- tionship seriously. What should I do? — Distraught in New Haven, Conn. Dear Distraught: The combina- tion of late hours and female callers makes us wonder what friends he’s hanging out with, but trusting him is your choice. What we will say, how- ever, is that Dennis doesn’t seem to care how you feel. This is not a good basis for a lasting relationship, and we see no evidence that it will get better. Dear Annie: Here’s some male input for ‘‘My Two Cents’ Worth,’’ who objected to a wife keeping her maiden name: Grow up and stop being so insecure. Women today face requirements not thought of in feudal times. Recently, my ex-wife contacted me because even though she has had a driver’s license for more than 25 years, a new law required her to prove her name changes. She had to produce her birth certificate, mar- riage certificate, divorce decree and the marriage certificate with her cur- rent husband. My current wife decided to keep her maiden name because of her established career. I have no insecu- rities about it and even respond to Mr. HerLastName without any anx- iety. Frankly, I think boys should take their father’s surname and girls should take their mother’s. — Not Sweating It Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. (MCT) Baby boomers, the generation that once vowed to never trust anyone over 30, begin turning 65 this year. This is a historic moment, ushering a demographic tsunami through the threshold of old age. Medicare ranks will swell for next 18 years Medicare Crib Sheet your enrollment. Part A, inpatient hospital insurance, covers hospitaliza- Though this birthday no longer guarantees full retire- ment benefits, the big six-five still means one thing: Medicare eligibility. For the next 18 years, boomers will be enrolling in the government's health insurance system, no doubt changing the way com- panies deal with a growing elderly population. Consider this: Of the 78 million boomers born between 1946 and 1964, more than 2.77 million will turn 65 in 2011, according to U.S. Census projections. That's 7,596 people aging into Medicare every day in 2011. The number of newly Medicare-eligible seniors increases every year after that, peaking in 2025 when about 4.267 million people — or 11,691 a day — will celebrate that milestone birthday. In comparison, a decade ago, about 4,880 people a day graduated into Medicare. Boomers will enter Medicare in numbers that will test the financial resources of a program signed into law in 1965 by President Lyndon Johnson. "There is going to be a debate in this country in the next few years about the level of services and the sustainabil- ity of the system," says Joe Baker, president of the Medicare Rights Center, a nonprofit consumer informa- tion group. "Everyone knows that this huge demographic wave is going to have a pro- found effect." But as experts haggle over the big picture, it's important for boomers to bone up on the details of Medicare, which tends to be more complicated than the usual insurance fare offered by an employer. What's more, signing up too late can cost thousands of dollars in extra premiums and out-of-pocket expenses over a lifetime. "The biggest pitfall I've seen people run into is that they procrastinate," says Jeff Johnson, interim state director tions, home healthcare, hospice care, skilled nursing facility stays and blood transfusions during hospitalization. If you're already receiving Social Security, you will be automatically enrolled at 65. If not, go to www.medicare.gov or visit your local Social Security office to enroll — before your birthday month, or your coverage will be delayed. Part B pays 80 percent of doctors, supplies, outpatient services, physical or speech therapy and ambulance service. It does not cover prescription drugs, but under the new healthcare law, annual physicals and other preventive care are free. Unlike Part A, enrollees pay a premium for Part B. In 2011, new Medicare enrollees will pay $115.40 a month — slightly higher than most of those already on Medicare. Those with an annual income over $85,000 for individuals and $170,000 for couples pay higher premiums on a sliding scale. Part C consists of Medicare Advantage plans. Think of them as managed care plans, with many including dental and vision care. If you decide not to take government Medicare (Parts A and B), that means you're off the Medicare rolls and on an insurance company that works like an HMO, PPO or private, fee-for-service plan. For the first time ever, Medicare is requiring Advantage plans to limit out-of-pocket expenses to no more than $6,700 in 2011, and some policies offer even lower limits. Part D covers prescription drugs. There are many plans to choose from — 27 in Miami-Dade alone — so advocates suggest you make a list of medications you're taking and check if they're covered under the plans you're considering. There's an online "plan finder" at www.medicare.gov that compares plans side by side.Counselors suggest you check Plan D every year because the list of covered drugs can change. for AARP of Florida. "They put it off and don't realize they're going to pay a penalty." Johnson and other advo- cates suggest boomers write this on their calendars in big red letters: The enrollment period for first-time Medicare enrollees spans seven months — the three months before, the month of, and the three months after your 65th birth- day. In this case, sooner is bet- ter. If you sign up during the three months before your birthday, Medicare coverage will start at the beginning of the month you turn 65. Happy birthday! If you sign up during your birthday month, coverage will begin at the start of the follow- ing month. But if you wait until the final three months of the initial enrollment period, your coverage will take that much longer, sometimes sev- eral months. Coverage will not start the month following People tend to postpone a decision because they're con- fused by the many different health plans they can choose under Medicare, but there are resources to help. Medicare itself provides online and phone help, as do nonprofit organizations and various insurance companies. Medicare is not a one-size- fits-all program, and healthcare advocates advise that before enrolling — or re-enrolling — in Medicare, people should do their homework: Make a list of prescription drugs. Find out what Medicare plans your pre- ferred doctors and hospitals take. Determine how much you can afford to pay for healthcare, including premi- ums, deductibles and out-of- pocket expenses. Try to figure outwhat your probable healthcare needs will be for the following year. This should simplify what can otherwise be a daunting experience. Two-year cough plagues reader DEAR DR. GOTT: I have had a cough for a cou- ple of years. I’ve had chest X-rays, been to different doctors, tried cough medicine, cough drops and all sorts of things, but I just keep on coughing. After I cough, I usually have to blow my nose to stop; it’s embarrassing, to say the least. I had a blood mass removed from my chest that was attached to my thyroid, heart, vocal cords and lung, but that did not help. I am tired of it, as are my family and friends. Help! DEAR READER: Cough can fall into two categories — acute or chronic. Yours obviously falls into the chronic cate- gory. While most instances of coughing are the result of the body removing foreign material or mucus from the respira- tory tract, yours appears to be a reaction to airway irritation. Causes might include allergic rhinitis, whooping cough, asthma, exposure to cigarette smoke or other pollutants in the air, COPD, post- nasal drip, sinusitis, bron- chitis, pneumonia, respi- ratory virus, sarcoidosis, bronchospasm, tumors or from the use of ACE inhibitors (prescription medications for hyperten- sion). Known irritants in this latter category include captopril, enalapril and lisinopril. I am not completely sure what your problem was when you had a “blood mass” (was it a clot, tumor or something else?) removed from your chest, but I recommend you return to that physi- cian for clarification as to whether it could have caused your chronic cough and if “it” needs follow-up. You should also be seen by a pulmo- nologist, who will take a complete history and per- haps order a CT scan. Without knowing the underlying cause, there is no way to determine how to treat it. To provide related Dr. Peter Gott information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Pul- monary Disor- ders.” Other read- ers who would like a copy should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com . DEAR DR. GOTT: I am a 14-year-old female with acne on my back and arms that just won’t go away no matter how much I scrub, cleanse and mois- turize. I was wondering if you have any suggestions to help me. DEAR READER: While people of all ages can get acne, you are 14, and changes are occur- ring in your body. Many teenagers are susceptible to your very problem, and hormones might be the cause. Other possibilities are the use of birth-con- trol pills (although some physicians might order the pill in an attempt to control acne), an overpro- duction of oil, a buildup of bacteria or an irregular shedding of dead skin. The condition is not caused by being dirty and, in fact, intense cleansing might even make matters worse. I am sure that your skin is sen- sitive. Scrubbing with a coarse washcloth or harsh soaps or astringents might further irritate the condition. Wash the affected areas with a gentle cleanser, use over-the-counter lotions to dry up oil and kill bacte- ria, consider using tea-tree oil (which may produce mild skin irritations in some people), and speak with your doctor about supplemental zinc or brewer’s yeast. Beyond that, medical treatment might include the use of prescription medication, antibiotics, laser and light therapy or dermabrasion. 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