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2B – Daily News – Thursday, December 23, 2010 FEATURES Holiday hubbub harming household harmony Dear Annie: Our two children are married with families of their own. The siblings used to get along quite well, but over the past few years, they hardly speak to each other. I don’t know what hap- pened. We threw ourselves an anniver- sary party, and our son refused to speak to anyone because we had missed his youngest son’s birth- day celebration. The reason we didn’t attend was because our daughter had left her three little kids with us when she took a vaca- tion. The kids were specifically not invit- ed to the birthday party, so none of us could go. We explained this, but our son still feels we were in the wrong. Yet he rarely attends the birthday parties of his sister’s children. I am dreading the holidays. Our son usually spends Christmas Eve with us and the following day with his in-laws. Our daughter has invited us to spend Christmas Day with her. I’d love to have them togeth- er, but my son tends to say ‘‘no’’ to any family celebration. Do we ask these two couples point blank what is happening or just ignore it? — Trying Not To Step on Toes Dear Trying: These are your children. Talk to them individually. Ask what is going on and how you can help resolve the issues. Don’t accuse either of them of behaving poorly. Focus only on what would make things better. Frankly, your Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar son sounds as if he is looking for reasons to be angry with his sister. That means he is likely to become defensive and, consequently, resis- tant to any of your suggestions. If that is the case, there’s not much you can do. But you won’t get any- where if you don’t try. We hope they will listen to their mother. Dear Annie: A few months ago, we invited newlyweds to visit us for a long weekend at our vaca- tion home in Arizona. These are young friends in their early 30s. As a gift, we paid for their airline tick- ets and wined and dined them during their visit. We also gave them a wedding card with a significant check. Three weeks after the visit, we received a two-line e-mail thanking us for the plane tickets and the wedding gift. That was it. No handwritten note. Not even a personal call. I’m appalled to think this is how young adults thank others for their generosity. Have they forgotten good manners? Can’t they be bothered to write a gracious note, put a stamp on the envelope and mail it? Or do they have no clue? — Perplexed in Chicago Dear Perplexed: We’re going to go with door number three. They have no clue. Either they were never properly taught, or they don’t believe a handwritten note is necessary these days. At least you received a two-line e-mail. Some folks don’t get even that much. You were exceedingly generous to this young couple, and if you don’t feel it was sufficiently appreciated, you are under no obligation to be so magnanimous in the future. But it also wouldn’t hurt to casual- ly mention that, based on their brief response, you weren’t sure they enjoyed the visit. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Crowded by the Ex’’ and agree that it seems many exes are not letting go, pas- sive-aggressively attempting to crowd out the most recent wife. My husband was divorced 46 years ago, and we’ve been married for 18 years. Early in our marriage, his ex could not wait to become part of our family, frequently showing up at our house unexpectedly to ‘‘see how we were doing,’’ bringing gifts, etc. Mind you, their now 50-year-old son lived in a distant city. But we got even. On one occasion when all of us were present, we were approached by a woman who knew the ex, but not us. My husband introduced me as his wife, whereupon the woman turned to the ex and said, ‘‘Oh, Judy, so this is your son!’’ — Shook Her Loose Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Get answers about statins DEAR DR. GOTT: I am a 71- year-old female in good health. I take 40 milligrams of diltiazem, and my blood pressure is under good con- trol. A recent blood test revealed my cho- lesterol to be 286, my HDL 82, LDL Dr. Peter Gott 188 and triglycerides 81. My doctor prescribed 40 mil- ligrams lovastatin, but I would prefer not to take this medica- tion. My total cholesterol has been 200 or higher since I was 40, and my HDL has been over 80. May I have your opinion? DEAR READER: High- cholesterol levels in the blood are considered to be a major risk factor in the development of coronary-artery disease, heart attack and stroke. When cholesterol accumulates in the walls of the arteries and com- bines with cellular debris, plaque forms, impairing the flow of blood. Eventually, clots may form, the arteries become blocked, and problems occur. There are two primary types of cholesterol — good and bad. The good is known as the HDL (high-density lipoproteins), and the bad is LDL (low-density lipopro- teins). According to the American Heart Association, total cholesterol of under 200 is desirable and puts a person at a substantially lower risk for heart disease. Levels between 200 and 239 are bor- derline, signifying a person has twice the risk than someone below 200. HDL levels for men lower than 40 and 50 for women signify a major risk fac- tor for heart disease. Levels of 60 and higher are extremely good, with lower probability of heart disease. LDL readings lower than 100 are optimal. Triglyceride levels vary accord- ing to age and gender. Levels under 150 are considered to be normal. Levels beyond that are borderline to high. While your total cholesterol is higher than the recommend- ed figure, your HDL is excep- tionally good. Your LDL puts Coupon Happy Holidays our gift to you Watch Battery Free Must have coupon Exp 12-24-10 Gold Exchange 530 528-8000 423 Walnut St. Red Bluff you in a borderline-high brack- et. Because extenuating factors such as family history come into play, your primary-care physician or cardiologist should make the decision as to the appropriate level for opti- mal health. If diet is to blame, this is rel- atively simple to modify. Cut out iced cream, butter and other high-fat foods. Reduce your consumption of cheese, eggs and whole milk. Stay away from tropical oils in cookies and pastries. If inactivity is to blame, speak with your physi- cian about a program of exer- cise. If heredity comes into play, then you may be doing all you can without outside assis- tance. A number of over-the- counter cholesterol-reducing products are available. Ask whether a trial might be appro- priate. If your physician has given you a statin drug to inhibit your liver’s natural production of cholesterol and you are opposed, make another appointment to discuss the mat- ter. I don’t blame you for K W I K K U T S Family Hair Salon $300 REGULAR HAIRCUT off with coupon Not good with other offers 1064 South Main St., Red Bluff • 529-3540 Reg. $13.95 Expires 12/31/10 expressing concern. There has been a lot of controversy sur- rounding the side effects of statin drugs. Get answers, and be guided by what he or she says. Ultimately, the decision should be yours. To provide related informa- tion, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Under- standing Cholesterol.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Gayle’s 50% to 80% Off Going out of Business Sale Final day December 29, 2010 649 Main Street Downtown Red Bluff COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check starting at $ (most cars and pick-ups) 2595 + cert. 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Tysinger, Jr. M.D. Eye Physician & Surgeon Fellow American Academy of Ophtalmology We accept Medical, Medicare & most Insurances Shelf & 31 Day Clocks Repaired Call for appt. Member NAWCC Cuckoo Clocks, Anniversary, Wall, Office Hours: Tues-Wed-Thurs 8am-4:30pm Mon & Fri 1pm-5pm For Emergencies, After Hours, Week-ends, Call 530-567-5001 345 Hickory St. Red Bluff Tel: (530) 529-4733 Fax: (530) 529-1114 Orthotic Therapy is our Specialty, also treating all aspects of the feet including Bunions, Hammertoes and Plantar Fasciitis with conservative and surgical intervention. We offer comprehensive skin care products from; FOOT AND ANKLE SPECIALIST 2530 Sr Mary Columba Dr Red Bluff (530) 527-7584 Feet Health Legal Notices Legal Notices LEGAL NOTICE To all heirs, beneficiaries, cred- itors, contingent creditors, and persons who may otherwise be interested in the will or estate, or both, of Richard R. Toland a.k.a Richard Robert Toland A Petition for Probate has been filed by Richard Lee Toland in the Superior Court of California, County of TEHAMA THE PETITION FOR PROBATE re- quests that Richard Lee Toland be appointed as personal repre- sentative to administer the es- tate of the decedent. The petition requests the decedent¹s will and codicils, if any, be admitted to probate. The will and any codicils are availa- ble for examination in the file kept by the court. The petition requests authority to administer the estate under the Independent Administration of Estates Act. (This authority will allow the personal repre- sentative to take many actions without obtaining court appro- val. Before taking certain very important actions, however, the personal representative will be required to give notice to inter- ested persons unless they have waived notice or consented to the proposed action.) The inde- pendent administration authori- ty will be granted unless an in- terested person files an objec- tion to the petition and shows good cause why the court should not grant the authority. A hearing on the petition will be held in this court as follows: January 24, 2011 at 1:30 p.m. in Dept. 3 located at 633 Washing- ton Street, P.O. Box 310, Red Bluff, CA 96080 If you object to the granting of the petition, you should appear at the hearing and state your objections or file written objections with the court before the hearing. Your appearance may be in person or by your attorney. If you are a creditor or a contin- gent creditor of the decedent, you must file your claim with the court and mail a copy to the personal representative ap- pointed by the court within four months from the date of first is- suance of letters as provided in Probate Code section 9100. The time for filing claims will not ex- pire before four months from the hearing date noticed above. You may examine the file kept by the court. If you are a person interested in the estate, you may file with the court a Re- quest for Special Notice (form DE-154) of the filing of an inven- tory and appraisal of estate as- sets or of any petition or ac- count as provided in Probate Code section 1250. A Request for Special Notice form is available from the court clerk. Attorney for petitioner: Daniel H. Alexander Law Offices of Daniel H. Alexander, PLC 901 Bruce Rd., Ste 230 Chico, CA 95928 a.k.a Richard Robert Toland CASE NO. 14627 Richard R. Toland TO ADMINISTER ESTATE OF NOTICE OF PETITION Publish: Dec 23, 27 & 30, 2010 Community Clip? e-mail: clerk@redbluff- dailynews.com or Fax: 527-9251 CREAMS, SALTS, MOISTURIZERS, GIFT SETS www.aerosilknatural.com SPA SKIN CARE PRODUCTS ALL NATURAL INGREDIENTS