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Monday, November 22, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Privacy pleader pickled Dear Annie: I need a polite way to tell people to leave me alone. My husband and I work opposite shifts and only have a few hours a week to spend together. I work a late shift and need to sleep during the day. My doorbell rings constantly even though I have posted a note: ‘‘Do not disturb day sleeper.’’ Somehow, my friends and relatives do not think this applies to them. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I get home from work at 7 a.m., and they think it’s a good time to call, but I need a few minutes to unwind, do housework and prepare meals. When I sleep, I unplug my phones and wake up to dozens of messages from the same people say- ing, ‘‘Call me when you get up.’’ I love my friends and family and don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I’m so sleep deprived and need so badly to spend time alone with my husband. On the rare occasions when we take a few days off to be together, others want to be involved. When I tell them, ‘‘We miss each other and want to be alone,’’ they respond as if we are being selfish. My husband’s work means he has to travel often, and one of my friends believes she needs to keep me company. When I tell her I’d rather she didn’t, she gets upset and wants to know why I’m mad at her. My single friends and family mem- bers can’t understand why I don’t want to ‘‘get away.’’ I have made it clear to everyone: ‘‘Do not call. Do not come over. I’m busy with my chores and want to spend time alone with my husband.’’ They completely ignore me. Please help before I blow a gasket. — Pleading for a Little Privacy Dear Pleading: Instead of telling people to leave you alone, give them a time when it’s OK to call. They are much more likely to cooperate if they have specific guidelines. If you get home at 7 and need time to settle in, ask people to call you between, say, 8 and 10. Then try to be accom- modating during those hours. Any- one who calls or pops in when you’re trying to sleep should be told, nicely, that you need your rest. Then hang up or close the door. Dear Annie: My older brother and I have been providing financial support for our father by paying for his medical bills and household expenses. Our younger brother is only able to support himself. I allocate $10,000 from my annu- al budget to my father, and he con- stantly complains that he does not have enough money. Yet he still manages to take overseas vacations. He has stated many times that he is leaving all his worldly possessions to our younger brother because he needs the money most. Dad does not seem to appreciate that my older brother and I are sacrificing in order to help him. My father is taking my younger brother on a vacation next month. What do you think of this, Annie? — Dad’s Personal Bank Dear Bank: We think your situa- tion is building tremendous resent- ment not only toward your father, but toward your younger brother, as well. You are generous to help sup- port Dad, but you are apparently giving him more than he needs. Who is managing his money, han- dling these deposits, paying his bills? It might help to have a neutral third party, perhaps an accountant, lawyer or the bank, handle the finances and remove the emotional hurt from the equation. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Debbie from Sarasota, Fla.,’’ who said it is not normal for women to be naked in the gym locker room. Speaking as a personal trainer and group fitness instructor who has worked in countless clubs, I can tell you it is extremely common for women to be naked for extended lengths of time in the locker room, and to hold lengthy conversations like that. ‘‘Debbie’’ must belong to a conservative health club and not be aware of how most clubs are. — Katherine from N.Y. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Fans flock to Harry Potter film LOS ANGELES (MCT) — "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hal- lows Part I" made $24 million in its debut dur- ing the wee hours Fri- day, enough to pull into third place among films with midnight screen- ings, according to fig- ures from box-office tracker Hollywood.com. "Deathly Hallows" fell behind two films in the "Twilight" series. "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" still is tops with its $30 million- plus debut earlier this year on June 30. And "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" comes in second at $26.3 million for its Nov. 20, 2009 midnight release. But "Deathly Hal- lows" is ahead of the last film in the series, fourth-place "Harry Potter and the Half- Blood Prince," which made $22.2 million dur- ing its midnight run in July 2009. And "Death- ly Hallows" is well ahead of fifth-place The Dark Knight," another film from Time Warner Inc.'s Warner Bros. stu- dios, which made $18.5 million in its July 2008 midnight screenings. "That's really strong. These are numbers that would be a great open- ing weekend for a lot of movies," said Paul Der- garabedian, president of Hollywood.com's box- office division. He pre- dicted that "Deathly Hallows" would top the $100 million mark dur- ing the weekend. Can "Deathly Hal- lows" meet that mark? The top seven box- office takes for mid- night debuts, which also includes sixth-place "Star Wars: Episode III _ Revenge of the Sith" from 2005 and seventh- place "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" in 2009, indicates the odds are good that "Deathly Hallows" will reach the magic $100 million mark in its first weekend. "Star Wars" was dis- tributed by Twentieth- Century Fox, a unit of News Corp., which also owns MarketWatch, publisher of this report. "Transformers" is from Viacom Inc.'s Para- mount Pictures unit. The only two of the top seven to not reach that mark were "Eclipse" and the other "Potter" film on the list, "Half-Blood Prince." But both debuted on a Wednesday. By the time its first weekend was over "Half-Blood Prince" made $77 mil- lion from the Friday-to- Sunday period, but accumulated $158 mil- lion in total over its first five days. "Eclipse" made $64.8 million in its first Fri- day-to-Sunday period but had accumulated $157.6 million from Wednesday to Sunday. The record opening three-day weekend for films opening on a Fri- day is held by "Dark Knight," which made $158.4 million when it first hit screens in July 2008. Teenager’s sleep habits disrupted DEAR DR. GOTT: My 16-year-old grand- daughter has had a lifetime of not being able to sleep at night. This has been the case since birth. I might add that because of her parents’ jobs, they encouraged “sleeping in.” She now lives with me, and I have allowed her to take Benadryl at night so she can get a decent night’s sleep to be alert in school. She is an excellent student and has no other health problems. This works very well; however, I am worried about the side effects over time. Can you advise me on this? DEAR READER: I know several people who have flip-flopped their days and nights because of job commitments and other rea- sons. They can get a good rest only in the middle of the day and have no problems remaining awake when most of us are sleeping. The impact on other members of the household is dramatic, as it is with your granddaugh- ter. Corrections of sleeping habits will not be made overnight (no pun intended). You may be in for a long haul, and I can only hope her activities do not disrupt your sleep in the process. Benadryl is an antihista- mine with drying and seda- tive qualities that has been used successfully for aller- gies, insomnia and other unwanted symptoms. Its main ingredient, diphenhy- dramine hydrochloride, may cause drowsiness, dizziness, constipation, dryness of the mouth, nose and throat, and rarely, nausea and vomiting when first taken. Most of these symptoms disappear as the body adjusts to the medication. Medical follow- up is not likely unless more serious side effects such as palpitations, low blood pres- sure, confusion, nervous- ness, double vision or tremors are experienced. Long-term side effects may increase the risk of delirium and slow thinking. A 2009 issue of the Journal of Clinical Interventions in Aging indicated that the neu- rotransmitter acetylcholine can interrupt the normal functioning of the central and peripheral nervous sys- Dr. Peter Gott tems. The article goes on to state the side effects of the medication are cumulative, so the more a per- son consumes, the more of an effect it will have on the nervous system and cog- nition. Dependence on any medication, even over-the-counters, could be an issue. Sleep aids should not be taken for more than a few weeks unless approved by a physician. In part, this is because a sleep aid might control nausea or vomiting that could reflect an underly- ing medical problem that hasn’t been addressed. I don’t see any problems with your granddaughter taking Benadryl to bring her circa- dian rhythm back into line, but I do believe she should do it under the guidance of her physician, who can mon- itor her if peculiar symptoms appear. Alternatives include melatonin, valerian, kava, yoga and tai chi. She should avoid all caffeine, including soda, cocoa and chocolate, from late afternoon on. She should also avoid sugar, especially that found in candy and soft drinks. Foods such as dark leafy green veg- etables, whole grains, cashews and legumes might help since they are high in magnesium and are a natural sedative. To give you related infor- mation, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Sleep/Wake Disorders.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed, stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and forwarded to PO Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print out an order form from my website www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. 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