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2A – Daily News – Monday, November 22, 2010 Community people&events Wedding announcement Radical forgiveness for the holidays The common, accepted portrayal of a happy, joking, and supportive family joyously celebrating around a food- laden Thanksgiving table is definitely not a universal reality. Some families despise the ritual (and aren’t too keen on one another either); yet they meet year-after-after out a sense of guilt or tradition, jabbing each other with passive-aggressive ver- bal stabs. Even within families that are indeed content overall, certain mem- bers of the clan might resent, or even dislike, one another. They hold grudges over past transgressions or historic bit- terness stalks silently beneath a trans- parent veneer of tranquility. Jerry and Laurie Meeder of Red Bluff announce the mar- riage of their son, Dr. Cory Willard Meeder to Heather Rose Hutchens. On Saturday, May 29, 2010. They were sealed for time and all eternity in the San Diego LDS Temple. A recep- tion immediately followed in Fallbrook. Cory is a 1994 graduate of Red Bluff Union High School. He completed a 2-year mission in Argentina and graduated from BYU Provo with Bachelor degrees in Nutrition and Dietetics. He then attended four years of Medical School at Des Moines University and is now in the third year of his residency, specializing in emergency medicine at Kingman Regional Medical Center in Kingman, Ariz. He is also affil- iated and rotates with hospitals in Las Vegas, Nev. and Phoenix, Ariz. Heather has completed two years at UNLV School of Architecture in Las Vegas, but recently changed her major to Interior Design. The couple honeymooned in Mexico and hope to live somewhere on the West Coast after Cory's Res- idency is completed. SECRET WITNESS 529-1268 A program of Tehama County Neighborhood Watch Program, Inc. Setting it straight –––––––– It is the policy of the Daily News to correct as quickly as possible all errors in fact that have been published in the newspaper. If you feel a factual error has been made in a news story, call the news department at 527-2153. I point out these realities not with intent of injecting an unpleasant after- taste to Thanksgiving dinner, nor as some sort of post-apocalyptic view of the holidays. And to be honest, I also do not know percentages of "unhappy" versus "happy" families; maybe it’s minuscule; possibly it’s everyone but you and I. Yet it is true. Moreover, to focus on "how many" bypasses the greater issue: we cannot release these strains until we acknowledge they exist. Once there, we discharge them with a type of thanks. "Thanks," you might ask with understandable confusion; "Why would one give thanks for an irritating collection of boorish relations with whom I’m forced to endure boring football games and overcooked turkey?" In the traditional sense of "giving thanks," you wouldn’t. However, when one expands the concept of thankful- ness, we realize that gratitude and forgiveness are actually the same act. All that differs is the direction in which they are pointed. Similarities abound. Each brings with it a sense of inner peace and happiness. The action in each is directed toward another person; yet its true purpose is to help us, not the recipient. Each releases an responsibility: whereby thanks releases me from obligation to you. Forgiveness un-tethers you from a per- ceived debt I feel you have to me. The results are identical; what dif- fers is the grounds. We give thanks when we believe something is "posi- tive," while forgiving what we consid- er "negative. Of course, it’s normal to feel some- one is unworthy of forgiveness. In effect, I cannot forgive you because the pain you inflicted was so extreme, or because I was so violated, that I lost control over part of my life; in essence you took away a part of ME. How do I forgive such heinous acts while remaining true to my core beliefs? The dilemma lies in equating for- giveness with approval of the behavior. Forgiveness is actually about my feelings, not your actions. If I change the perspective from "what you did" to "how I feel about what you did," I reclaim control over my emotions and can begin to regain that which was taken. The only alternative is to contin- ue to be a victim, experi- encing the anguish on a regular basis — the tor- ment not only extreme, but also constant and repeated. Unfortunately many Scott Q. Marcus view forgiveness as a mark of weakness. The reality is it requires enormous strength to direct one’s emotions. Said Ghandi, "The weak can never for- give. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Forgiving what your sister did long ago, or how your parents mistreated you is not easy. However holding long-stand- ing grudges does zero to help heal the pain, and — can we be honest? — it’s really not hurting them in the slightest. It might be time to let go, even a lit- tle. And this holiday seems as good of a time as any to start the process. Scott "Q" Marcus is a THINspirational speaker and author. Today is exactly 16 years since he achieved his correct weight after losing 70 pounds. He can be reached for coaching, consulting or presentations at www.scottqmarcus.com, scottq@scottqmarcus.com, or 707.442.6243. Find him at www.facebook.com/scottqmarcus or follow him @scottqmarcus. He is thankful you have read his column for the last five years. Ellington and Betty Peek celebrate 60 years D NEWSAILY HOW TO REACH US RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY THE VOICE OF TEHAMA COUNTY SINCE 1885 VOLUME 126, NUMBER 01 On the Web: www.redbluffdailynews.com MAIN OFFICE: Monday-Friday, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Main Phone (530) 527-2151 Outside area 800-479-6397 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080 ______________________ Fax: (530) 527-5774 ______________________ Mail: Red Bluff Daily News P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 CUSTOMER SERVICE: Subscription & delivery Monday-Friday, 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. (530) 527-2151 Ext. 125 subscription rates (All prices include all applicable taxes) Monday through Saturday $9.59 four weeks Rural Rate $10.69 four weeks Business & professional rate $2.21 four weeks, Monday-Friday By mail: In Tehama County $12.29 four weeks All others $16.23 four weeks (USPS 458-200) Published Monday through Saturday except Sunday, by California Newspaper Partnership. Home delivery NEWS News Tip Hotline: 527-2153 FAX: (530) 527-9251 E-mail: clerk@redbluffdailynews.com Daytime: Sports: Obituaries: Tours: (530) 527-2151 Ext. 109 Ext. 103 Ext. 112 After hours:(530) 527-2153 ______________________ ADVERTISING Monday-Friday, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Display: 527-2151 Ext. 122 Classified: 527-2151 Ext. 103 Online (530) 527-2151 Ext. 133 FAX: (530) 527-5774 E-mail: advertise@redbluffdailynews.com SPECIAL PAGES ON THE FOLLOWING DAYS Mondays: Kids Corner Tuesdays: Employment Wednesdays: Business Thursdays: Entertainment Fridays: Select TV Saturdays: Farm, Religion Publisher & Advertising Director: Greg Stevens gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Editor: Chip Thompson editor@redbluffdailynews.com Sports Editor: Rich Greene sports@redbluffdailynews.com Circulation Manager: Kathy Hogan khogan@redbluffdailynews.com Production Manager: Sandy Valdivia sandy@redbluffdailynews.com POSTMASTER SEND ADDRESS CHANGES TO: PO BOX 220, RED BLUFF CA 96080 newspaper of general circulation, County of Tehama, Superior Court Decree 9670, May 25, 1955 © 2010 Daily News Postage Paid Periodicals The Red Bluff Daily News is an adjudicated daily 90 years ago... Mysterious Shaker Dance Drew Crowds The mystery of the past ten days, the ‘Shaker dance’ scheduled for Saturday drew a large crowd ... The ‘shaker’ part was simple and novel- large paper festoons usually used on carnivals were given to each lady dancer and two sets of pepper and salt shakers were awarded in the prize waltz. First prize was won by Miss Mary Alice Winter and Vern B. Fish and second prize was won by Miss Frances Luning and Ellsworth Deering. – Daily News, Nov. 22, 1920 Ellington and Betty Peek will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary on Nov. 26. They met at a dance in Mokelumne Hill where Ellington and his sister Ellen Rae gave Betty a ride home from the dance. Ellen tells a story that on the way home from the dance it was really raining. Betty quietly told Ellington that he should slow down because there was a big rut in the road from the rain. Ellington did not slow down and when they hit the rut, they all hit their heads on the ceiling of the pickup. They were married less than a year later in the Congrega- tional Church in Murphys. Betty has been telling him to slow down ever since. They both came from old time California families that arrived before or dur- ing the Gold Rush. Ellington and Betty raised four children; Andy (wife Rhonda), Callie (husband Darrell Wood), Laurie (husband Jerry Norene), and Brad. They have five grandchildren; Matthew Norene, Court- Customer Service Representative to help schools obtain money. Work with Principals, PTA’s, Coaches, Music, and Childcares! We train! $17.99-$ 20.00/hr.avg. Call 765-377-4501 ney Norene, Ramsey Wood, Dallice Wood and Mason Peek. After a stint in Korea serving his country, Ellington came back to embark on a livestock marketing career that included building Shasta Livestock Auction Yard and Western Video Market both in Cottonwood. Betty owned and managed the Shasta Western Shop for over 45 years. She started that business in a comer near the auction yard ring in Anderson and moved it to Cottonwood in 1966 when Shasta Livestock relocated. Ellington and Betty enjoy traveling around the country and spending time with their family. When asked what it takes to make it 60 years, Betty said, “I guess I was just determined to make it work. Ellington was gone a lot for business, but when he came home, he was there for the kids and me.” Ellington said, “No one else would have put up with me.” Courtesy photo Holiday Memorial Candlelight program The second annual Holiday Memorial Candle- light Program, sponsored by the Trustees of the Red Bluff Cemetery District, will be held at our historic Oak Hill Cemetery is scheduled for Sun- day, Dec. 5. Luminary candle bags will be available for $1 donation beginning at 4 p.m. with holiday carols and a short program beginning at 5 p.m. Hot chocolate and cookies will be provided by the Boy Scouts. Carols will be sung by members of the Red Bluff High School Choir. This celebration is in remembrance of those who have gone before us and gives us the opportunity to share a bit of holiday time. You are invited to attend and participate in lighting up the cemetery with light, joy and happiness. ANNOUNCEMENT DONALD B. WEBSTER, Attorney at Law, after practicing law for 60 years in Red Bluff, announces his retirement from practice and closure of his office as of December 31, 2010. Clients of Donald B. Webster, both present and past, may pick up their office files, of desired, by contacting the law office at 530-527-0114 to make arrangements to do so. Return of files must be concluded no later than February 1, 2011