Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/19303
Monday, November 8, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Buddy’s bust bad banter Dear Annie: I am a 61-year-old male. My wife and I have been friends with ‘‘Joe and Meg’’ for 30 years. We see them infrequently, since they live out of state. When we saw them last month, it was immediately apparent that Meg had received breast enhancement surgery. It was impossible not to notice. While talking about everything new in know. Dear Annie: I have been married to a wonderful man for less than a year. We are both in our early 40s, educated, with good jobs and have no children at home. The problem is, my mother-in-law is driving me crazy. She is a lovely person, but has developed the habit of showing up without calling. our lives, including medical problems, I thought Meg or Joe would make some ref- erence to her breasts. When they didn’t, I complimented her on improvements made at ‘‘second base.’’ She wrinkled her brow, looked away and mumbled some- thing under her breath. If I hadn’t known her so well, I would have said nothing, Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar but she is a nurse and open-minded. Should I have kept my mouth shut? Why would someone make such an evident physical change in their appearance and be reluctant to acknowledge it? — Perplexed in Kansas Dear Perplexed: Oh, dear. Breast enhancements, facelifts, nose jobs and other efforts to look ‘‘new and improved,’’ no matter how obvious, should not be mentioned unless the person brings it up. It is akin to remarking on someone’s weight gain and is considered rude. Now you We have been in our new home for three months. During this time, Mom has visited six times. Two of those were when we invited her for dinner, but the other four were unex- pected drop-ins. It’s not like we don’t see her. We go out to dinner with her once a month, and she has lunch with my husband once a week. After a phone message saying she was ‘‘in the neighbor- hood,’’ my husband called her to say we were working on a large project and it was not a good time. She left a half-dozen messages saying she is not wanted. She then showed up the next day unannounced. My father-in-law passed away a year ago. I know Mom is lonely, though she won’t admit it. Her constant intrusions are making me dislike her, and this causes her son heartache. I’ve suggested that when she shows up unannounced, we grab the keys and tell her we are on our way out. Otherwise, I’m ready to sell this place and move far away. Any sugges- tions? — Miserable in Missouri Dear Miserable: Mom shouldn’t be coming by unex- pectedly. It is your husband’s job to tell her that the two of you are still newlyweds and she absolutely must ask before assuming she is welcome. Then help her get involved in other activities. Your widowed mother-in-law apparently doesn’t want to be home alone, but it does no one any favors for her to use the two of you as a substitute for a social life. Dear Annie: I would like to comment on your reply to ‘‘Troubled,’’ the woman who was contemplating whether she fit the role of a minister’s wife. I am a minister’s husband. The number of women joining the ministry is increasing rapidly. I am not religious and don’t attend church services, nor do I help organize church programs. Your reply perpetuates the stereotype of the male minister, whose wife is expected to be the unpaid organist or youth leader. I am fortunate that there are no stereotypes for what the husband of a minister should be. — Canada Dear Canada: You are right that there are often unwar- ranted expectations for the spouse of a minister, especially a wife. However, male or female, some ministers want a more religiously supportive partner, and others don’t care. The important thing is to deal with the expectations before mar- riage. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. Many causes possible for husband’s gagging DEAR DR. GOTT: Thank you for your bal- anced, sensible and unbiased information. It is a breath of fresh air. My husband has a problem with sponta- neous gagging. It does not seem to be related to eating, foreign objects or any activity in partic- ular. It has caused him to pull the car over or stop talking with clients. Dr. Peter Gott This has been going on for almost a year. We have had monitoring of his throat for acid reflux, and he did have some, but the rise in acid doesn’t seem to correspond with the gagging, and medication doesn’t make a difference. He has tried over-the- counter medications as well as prescrip- tions. He has also had an endoscopic pro- cedure, which showed no polyps. I would greatly appreciate any informa- tion you can provide; our doctors seem to be at a dead end. DEAR READER: Spontaneous gag- ging can be a symptom of several disor- ders; therefore, I cannot provide a defini- tive answer. I believe your husband’s best chance at getting a diagnosis is to be examined and tested by a gastroenterolo- gist (if he hasn’t done so already) or by getting another opinion from a second gastroenterologist (preferably one unaffil- iated with the first) or an ear-nose-and- throat specialist. The most likely cause is GERD. Gas- troesophageal reflux disease is a common condition in which acid backwashes into the throat. Reflux, either chronic or occa- sional, can be the result of excess acid pro- duction; a weak or improperly functioning hiatus (the ring of muscle that connects the esophagus and stomach); hiatal hernia (in which a portion of the stomach slides into the esophagus or alongside it in the chest cavity); diet/lifestyle; etc. Symptoms can include a burning sen- sation within the chest, a sour taste in the mouth, dry cough, regurgitation of food or liquids (which may result in gagging), sore throat, chest pain, difficulty swallow- ing (which may cause gagging) and more. People with reflux do not always experi- ence symptoms, and for some, symptoms may appear unrelated. Just because your husband’s gagging does not appear to be related to the acid reflux doesn’t mean that it isn’t. I suggest your husband make some moderate lifestyle changes to see whether his symp- toms improve. He should exercise on a regular basis; avoid fatty, greasy and acidic foods; and consume more whole grains, fruits and vegetables. He may also wish to use over-the-counter or prescrip- tion medication daily to try to prevent symptoms. Other possibilities include vagus-nerve impingement, esophageal spasms, smok- ing and achalasia. Achalasia is rare, occurring in about one in 100,000 people, so this is not likely the problem. It causes regurgitation and difficulty swallowing, both of which can result in gagging. Esophageal spasms are abnormal mus- cle contractions within the throat that typ- ically causes pain and difficulty swallow- ing. Vagus-nerve impingement can cause nausea, vomiting, gagging and more, but it is most common in people who have had sinus surgery or head injury. Smoking is another common cause of gagging that is often overlooked. Smok- ers, especially heavy smokers, are damag- ing their lungs with the habit, and as the damage progresses, excess fluid and mucus can accumulate in the lungs and drip down the back of the throat. This sit- uation can cause difficulty breathing, coughing, a choking sensation and gag- ging until the mucus can be expelled. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Hiatal Hernia, Acid Reflux and Indiges- tion.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order payable to Newsletter, and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wick- liffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my web- site at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Students Learn Civic Lessons Through Town Hall Program California State University, Chico stu- dents will lead discussions on a wide range of local and national issues at a town hall meeting Monday, Nov. 8, start- ing at 5:45 p.m. in the BMU Auditorium. CSU, Chico’s Town Hall Meeting Pro- gram, started in 2006, helps develop stu- dents’ writing and research skills as well as promote civic engagement. The recur- ring town hall meetings are an important feature of the University’s First Year Experience Program, which is designed to help first-year students succeed acade- mically and socially, and make a smooth transition to university life. About 800 students, along with com- munity and campus members, are expect- ed to take part in roundtable discussions. Students lead and participate in the roundtable talks as part of classroom research and writing projects. Thia Wolf, director of the First Year Experience Program, said about 650 stu- dents enrolled in Political Science 155 (American Government) have been preparing in class for the town hall meet- ing. About 80 community members, including business and governmental leaders, are expected to attend the town hall meeting. The event is free and the public is invited to attend. For more information call 898-3705. PAID ADVERTISEMENT For information on participation in Kids & Families call (530) 527-2151 P.A.W.S. (Partners for Animal Welfare & Safety) WE SHOOT YA PHOTOGRAPHY “DOG DAYZ’ TO BENEFIT PAWS P.A.W.S. SAYS... A one time photo shoot for animals only will be held one day only and if you have wanted a professional photo of your pet the only fee for a mini-shoot session and a 4x6 photo is a donation of a 20 pound bag of either dog or cat food. Other discounts will apply and all of the proceeds will go to P.A.W.S. For their free pet food program. 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