Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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Bob & Sheree's Beer & Wine Shoppe 0 YOU THINK YOU HAVE TROUBLE? by PITT DICKEY Are you down and out? Is the world treating you more harshly than you deserve? Has your favorite college football team turned out to be staffed with a bunch of potential cheaters? Wouldn’t it make you feel better to think about the troubles of some people who have it worse than you? Of course it would. Let us dive into the wonderful pool of Schadenfreude which is the German word for laughing and being happy due to the misery of others. Consider if you will, the curious "We are always honored." Sheree & son, Nunzio In loving memory of Bob, 1938-2009 Thank you for hank youfor 30 years of service and your vote of loyalty and confidence on the best wine and beer selection in Fayetteville. Sheree , Owner of Family Business 238 Hay Street 2828 Raeford Road 223-9463 485-4700 6 UCW SEPTEMBER 15-21, 2010 case of Yonni Barrios, one of the 33 Chilean miners trapped at the bottom of the world’s most famous failed shaft, the San Jose mine. One day Yonni was at the top of the world digging 2,000 feet below the earth’s surface. Yonni had it all: a good job in the mines, a beautiful wife and a secret mistress until the mine collapsed giving him the shaft. There is a fi fth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the sum of his knowledge. You’ve just crossed over into the Yonni Zone. Yonni’s wife Marta Salinas didn’t know about Yonni’s lover Susana Valenzuela until they met at a vigil for the trapped miners. Apparently Susana was overcome by emotion and started yelling Yonni’s name at a rally for the miners. Marta then had a chat with Susana and the whole story came out. Marta claims Yonni loves only her. Susana claims Yonni was going to leave Marta for her. You think Yonni wants to come out and face Marta and Susana? You think the Democrats are going to hold onto the House and Senate? Five bucks says that Yonni is the last man out of the mine and goes into the witness protection program. Stupidly tempting fate, I recently removed a mattress tag under penalty of law. The tag had been on the mattress purchased in 1948 by my sainted mother, Sally Dickey. We were moving furniture and there the tag was. A mattress tag with an offi cial purple two-cent State of South Carolina Bedding Stamp. I could not resist. I pulled the tag off and framed it. What harm could that do? Surely the statute of limitations on pulling off a mattress tag affi xed in 1948 had run out. I learned once again that while it is not nice to fool Mother Nature, it is even worse to pull off a mattress tag under penalty of law. Woe is me as to what happened next. We recently went to Boston for my niece Lisa’s Big Gay Wedding. It was a splendid affair. The brides were both beautiful. The undercurrents of wedding’s family and friends were as interesting as those in a straight wedding. A splendid time was had by all except for the lobsters who were eaten at the wedding reception. I thought I would be far enough away from the detached mattress tag that the aura of badness that emanates upon the removal of a mattress tag would not be able to fi nd me. I was wrong. On arriving at Logan Airport the little check-in computer told me that I would have to see the clerk about our fl ight. That is never a good sign. Our 5 p.m. fl ight was canceled. No explanation. It just no longer existed. We can get you out tomorrow morning on a 9 a.m. fl ight. Nothing else is available sir. That wouldn’t do as I had an 11 a.m. appointment with a surgeon to remove a couple of long time cysts on my shoulder the next morning. Instead of going postal I remained calm and eventually got us on a fl ight that arrived in Raleigh, N.C., at midnight after a detour to Atlanta, Ga. A little girl sat behind me on the way to RDU occasionally kicking the seat but basically well behaved. As the plane landed I heard the words no one wants to hear on a plane. “Mommy, I fwoded up.” Yup, she had fwoded up. Children are wonderful but the smell of their vomit is not so much. Being trapped on a plane with the smell of “fwoded up” permeating the air is not so glamorous either. Back home at 2 a.m. Cyst surgery at 11 a.m. A new cystine chapel carved in my back. Airline sinus infection the rest of the week. I will never, ever remove a mattress tag again. I promise. PITT DICKEY, Contributing Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@upandcomingweekly.com. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM S I 1 N CE 9 8