CityView Magazine

on second thought No Air Conditioning? No Problem! W By Mary Zahran hile I have many pleasant childhood memories, many of which are described ad nauseum in previous columns, I have a few that aren't so pleasant. Were it not for my extraordinary gift for finding humor in practically everything (a personality trait that I value only slightly less than my amazing modesty), I would be unable to share with you one of the most uncomfortable chapters from my early years. Just the thought of this difficult time makes me break into a sweat. Until I was in my early teens, I lived in a home…WITHOUT AIR CONDITIONING. There, I've said it! My secret is out! For a society that lives year-round in a hermetically sealed world, this situa- Board Certified MD and Nurse Practitioner MEDICAL SERVICES: Individualized travel consultation Immunization destination specific • Malaria prophylaxis • Guidance and information to prevent travel related illness and safety • • Schedule an Appointment: 910.322.7791 www.TravelMedNC.com 1248 Ft. Bragg Rd., Fayetteville, NC 28305 12 | July/August • 2013 tion seems incomprehensible. How can anyone live in a house that is not always comfortably cooled or heated? The short answer is that you live where and how you can afford to live, being grateful that your circumstances aren't any worse than they are. The long answer is that you become very creative about gaining access to airconditioned spaces, particularly on those hot August days when the air is humid enough to chew and the sidewalks double as stovetops. With these conditions in mind, allow me to share some of my favorite techniques for surviving a North Carolina summer: 1. Make friends with someone who owns an air conditioner. Susie was my best friend in 6th grade. She was a kind, smart, funny girl. But more important than that, she was a kind, smart, funny girl with an air-conditioned house. I spent many afternoons in her chilly home, drinking Cokes and watching "The Newlywed Game" on her color television. Life was good. 2. See a movie early and often. This statement needs an explanation for anyone born after 1980. In the "dark ages", when I was a child, a person could buy a single movie ticket for the 1:00 p.m. matinee and stay in the theater the entire afternoon without being chased out by ushers sweeping popcorn off the sticky floor after each show. I once saw a Debbie Reynolds comedy three times in a row before my dad picked me up on the way home from work. I don't remember a thing about the movie, but I do remember how cool the theater was. I also remember how difficult it was to scrape the bubblegum off the bottom of my shoes (at least I think it was bubblegum). 3. Visit your local library. As a former English teacher and librarian, I feel obliged to encourage others to visit their local library to check out books for the purpose of improving their minds. As a private citizen who once lived in a house without air conditioning, I feel obliged to encourage others to visit their local library to check out the air conditioning. While you are there cooling off, you might as well check out a book or two. 4. Eat ice cream—lots of it. Long before I discovered the healing powers of a carton of ice cream after a bad break-up, I knew for certain that ice cream could make even the hottest house seem just a bit cooler. And if a little bit of ice cream could do that, just imagine what a LOT of ice cream could do! Why, sometimes I would even have to put on a sweater after the fourth or fifth bowl. 5. Attend lectures. Nothing says summer fun to a preteen like a lecture on pre-Columbian art, French poetry, or quantum physics. These exciting talks are usually held in a museum or college auditorium where the thermostat is set really low, thus insuring that none of the audience members falls asleep. 6. Last, but not least, get a job. This strategy is a last-ditch effort when all else has failed. When Susie is on vacation (no doubt in an air-conditioned mountain hideaway), when there are no movies worth watching, when the librarians are finally on to you, when there is no more ice cream, when even the lecturers have something better to do, it is time to look for work—but not just any kind of work. Outside jobs won't do. If you want to sweat, why not just stay home? Look for something guaranteed to keep you cool, like making milkshakes at an ice cream shop or sweeping floors at a movie theater. 
And if you see a girl attempting to sit through a bad movie for a second time, let her stay…and tell her I said hello. CV Mary Zahran lives in Fayetteville, where she rarely leaves her air-conditioned home during July and August. She can be reached at maryzahran@gmail.com

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