Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/13993
Thursday, July 29, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Dear Annie: My daughter, ‘‘Betty,’’ is having a terrible problem with her sister-in- law, ‘‘Linda’’ (her husband’s sister). Linda is very manipulativ e , thinks she’s never wrong and can be downright hateful. Recently, Linda’s husband was given a very bad diagno- sis, and she used this situa- tion as an opportunity to verbally attack Betty. She brought up things that were resolved years ago and wouldn’t shut up until my daughter agreed with her on everything. Spiteful sis-in-law shuns support Battle of the bulge Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar maybe insecure. Her world is out of control, and she is jealous of anyone who is living a ‘‘normal’’ life. But how much does one have to take? She’s always been ornery and now has a good excuse to be even more so. I want to help my daughter. What is the best way to Linda also was angry that Betty and her kids went to our family reunion and mentioned having fun on her Facebook page. She yelled at Betty, who took the abuse since she felt sorry for her. The very next day, Linda called my daughter and acted like nothing happened. Here’s the kicker: Betty recently had medical trou- bles of her own that were quite similar to the ones Linda’s husband is having. The compassion she feels is real. She genuinely wants to help in any way, but unless she bows and scrapes to Linda, her help is refused. What kind of wife refuses support for her husband? We understand that Linda is hurting, afraid and deal with this situation? — Repercussions for Caring Dear Caring: Linda’s personality is not going to change, no matter how help- ful or sympathetic your daughter is. Betty’s husband might be able to get through to his sister, suggesting she speak to her husband’s doc- tor about coping with her stress levels. But even so, it may not be enough. Betty needs to accept Linda as she is and respond as if the neg- ativity doesn’t exist. That means ignoring her barbs, pretending to be oblivious, changing the subject and smiling sympathetically while saying, ‘‘You must be so frazzled. I’m so sorry.’’ Repeat as needed. Dear Annie: Over the past several years, sur- rounding neighbors have installed lovely swimming pools. But instead of the sounds of splashing, we hear their radios blasting. Sometimes they leave the music on when they go back inside and don’t return for hours. We turn our radio on when we’re in the backyard, but never so loud that it dis- turbs the neighbors. We have asked them to turn it down, and they have, but why do we have to be the ones to control the volume? — Missing Splashes and Laughter Dear Missing: Your neighbors will crank up the music until someone objects. Since they already know it bothers you, that is inconsiderate and rude, but there you have it. If you want the volume lowered, you’ll have to ask. Be grate- ful they comply. Too many neighbors do not. Dear Annie: Here’s a news flash for ‘‘Stiffed in Iowa,’’ who objected that her parents are only leaving the kids half their estate instead of all of it. She is entitled to exactly zero of her parents’ money, now or after their demise. If they are so kind, loving and generous as to believe she deserves anything, it will be a gift, not an entitlement. Some children are fortu- nate enough to have parents who can afford to leave an inheritance. For others, the inheritance comes from knowing they were loved unconditionally and that their parents left a legacy of good deeds and kindness. You can outlive your wealth, but decency and love stay with us forever. — Never Got a Cent in Omaha Passages Health Insurance Counseling & Advocacy Program (HICAP) is providing a seminar to address "Medicare - How To Manage Health Care Costs on a Budget" 4-6 p.m. Aug. 5 at Brick- yard Creek Apartments in Red Bluff. Brickyard has opened this meeting to all community mem- bers with the hope of reaching Medicare recipients in the area needing information on how to make their benefits work for them. This is an opportunity to learn more about empowering oneself against scams and fraud. This free presentation is designed educate DEAR DR. GOTT: I read your column daily but have never seen you comment on an inguinal her- nia. Can you address it? I am in my late 70s and suddenly have one. It is not incarcerated, and I am won- dering if I need surgery. If so, can it be done with local anesthesia? DEAR READER: An inguinal hernia occurs when a portion of the small intestine or internal fat protrudes through a weakened area in the lower abdominal muscles. This occurs on either side of the groin area between the abdomen and thigh, resulting in a bulge. Inguinal hernias are five times more common in males than in females and account for 75 percent of all hernias, of which there are several kinds. An inguinal hernia can occur at any time from infancy to adulthood. There are two types of inguinal hernia — direct and indirect. A direct hernia is caused by degeneration of connective tissue of the abdominal muscles, common in older people. This type develops gradually because of continuous stress on the muscles involved. Factors include weight gain, lift- ing heavy objects, muscle strain, chronic cough and straining from constipation. Indirect hernias are congenital and much more common in males because of the way a male develops in the womb. Indirect inguinal hernias can occur in females as well; however, the condition is the result of a weakened area in the abdominal wall, not because of a weakened area of the inguinal canal. Symptoms of either type include a bulge, pain, burning or discomfort — espe- cially when lifting or otherwise straining — and weakness or pressure in the groin. Incarcerated hernias are so named because the bulge that protrudes is swollen and can- not be massaged back into the abdomen. When this occurs, the blood supply to that area may become compromised. Symptoms can include fever, increasing pain, tenderness, redness and an elevation in the patient’s heart rate. This situation requires immediate attention. Dr. Peter Gott Diagnosis of an inguinal hernia is made through examination by a physician and the medical history provided by a patient. Treatment for adults is surgery accomplished either through laparoscopy or open repair. The laparoscopic approach uses general anes- thesia. Incisions are made in the lower abdomen. A thin tube with a video camera is then attached. The camera allows the area to be viewed on a monitor, and repairs are made using synthetic mesh. This pro- cedure affords shorter recovery time but cannot be used on large hernias or on patients who may have had prior pelvic surgery. Open repair requires anesthesia into the abdomen or spine to numb the area. An incision is made in the groin, the hernia is repositioned into the abdomen, and the abdominal wall is reinforced with sutures. The area is then strengthened with synthetic mesh or screen in a procedure known as herniorrhaphy. Post-surgical conditions can include wound infection, bleeding, pain at the site of the scar and injury to internal organs. Recurrence can occur. Generally speaking, however, hernia repair using either method is safe and most often uncomplicated. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “An Informed Approach to Surgery.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newslet- ter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Medicare workshop planned at Brickyard Creek Apartments Medicare beneficiaries, families looking for effective ways to keep health and prescription costs manageable. Important questions that will be answered include: • What programs are available to reduce my Medicare health and prescription costs? • How to appeal a coverage denial for Part D • How to protect your- self from Medicare fraud • Will Health Care Reform affect my benefits in a negative way? If you are wanting to learn more about your options and are low income or on a fixed budget, this is the presentation to attend. For more information, call 1- 800-434-0222. If a group or agency would like a workshop, call 898-6715. HICAP does not sell or endorse any insurance products.