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Thursday, July 1, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Self-centered sister-in-law senses slights Dear Annie: I recently had a falling out with my brother’s wife, ‘‘Cindy.’’ I offered to take her to lunch to talk, but she sent my brother instead. He belittled me and had a list of griev- ances that went back seven years. His major complaint is that I didn’t give Cindy a wedding or baby shower. One of the other brides- maids hosted a shower. I offered to help, but she declined. When they were expect- ing their first child, Cindy’s family threw her a baby shower in her hometown. I asked Mom if we should have a shower for Cindy, but she said it wasn’t proper to do this for a family member. Instead, my mother hosted a small dinner party. Cindy’s other friends didn’t give her any showers, but I’m the only one she blames. Had my brother told me years ago that Cindy expected all this from me, I would have done it. Cindy also accuses me of not babysitting enough, not returning phone calls fast enough, not visiting soon enough to see their firstborn and on and on. Every so often, I do something else wrong, and she gives me the silent treat- ment. My parents want us to get along, but won’t get involved. Family gatherings are not enjoyable, and I barely know my nephews anymore. I am tired of Cindy’s constant expectations. I don’t purposely hurt her. Meanwhile, she never acknowl- Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar edges anything nice I do, and neither of them can be bothered to call on my birth- day. I have tried to make amends when she is upset with me, but nothing helps. They are unappreciative and ungrateful. Was I obligated to throw Cindy a shower? — Baby Blues in Pennsylvania Dear Pennsylvania: No. Your mother is correct that it is not proper for a family member to host a shower, although all the bridesmaids could have hosted one together. Cindy is obviously not familiar with those rules of etiquette, and in her defense, neither are most people. Cindy’s expectations are rather self-centered, but if you want a rela- tionship, you’ll need to be the big- ger person. She may not deserve it, but try to apologize sincerely for not anticipating her needs. Say you want to be closer to both of them and it would help if they could teach you their preferences. Ask them to please let you know how to make things better in the future. We hope it helps — and that it’s worth it. Dear Annie: My granddaughter is 10 years old. Other than a two- day camping trip with her father, she has never been away from her mother — no sleepovers with friends or overnighters at either of her grandmothers’ homes. I work with a woman who has young children, and they have spent the night with friends, grandparents and even a babysitter. I know par- enting advice changes over time, so I’m wondering whether my daugh- ter’s approach is something new. — Wondering Grandma Dear Wondering: Not new, but a bit overprotective. And we suspect it’s your granddaughter who is say- ing ‘‘no,’’ and Mom is simply back- ing her up. We wouldn’t pressure either of them. Not sleeping over at Grandma’s is no impediment to a loving relationship. Dear Annie: I am a disability adjudicator for the Commonwealth of Kentucky and the Social Security Administration. You offered some good advice to ‘‘Still His Mother,’’ whose son, ‘‘Joe,’’ thinks he may have emphysema. You said Joe might be able to get help through Medicaid or disability, but he would need a medical diagnosis first. Actually, if Joe does not have a doctor, we will send him to one of ours for an evaluation to determine whether he is disabled. For more information, your readers can go to www.socialsecurity.gov. — D.A. for SSA and Kentucky Dear D.A.: Thank you for the excellent information. Happy Canada Day to all our readers north of the border. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Modifying my workouts It's been a rough cou- ple of months. I've been nursing an ankle injury that has totally made me change my training. You can't run with a rolled ankle, so I've been doing the next best thing — riding my bike. I haven't ridden a bike so much since I was a kid. It's a lot harder than it used to be. Generally, no matter what your injury is, or what condi- tion you have, you can modify just about any workout and keep plug- ging along. It's been fun and a great workout, but I'm not burning as many calories as I do when I run. So, seeing as I haven't changed my diet, I've put on a few pounds. It's healed enough, with lots of physical ther- apy, that I can finally start running again. What stinks though, is that I have to start out slow again. You lose a lot of the headway you've made after a long break off. I was up to more than 6 miles, and I went for my first run last week. I barely got in a mile and a half. Oh well, it's at least something. As I've been enjoying our wonderful summer, I've found a new love that I just can't get enough of. It's paddle boarding, and it is not only a great workout, it's a blast. You get a big surf- board — a long board or an old windsurfing board — put it in some water, stand up on it and use a long paddle to get around. I started out in a pond and have worked my way up to the river and even the bay in Eure- Fourth of July is just around the comer, meaning that the use of fireworks poses a high potential haz- ard for fires. With the high tempera- tures of the summer upon us, the vegetation is quickly drying out and the fire dan- ger is rising. The California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (CalFire) and the Tehama County Fire Department (TCFD) want to inform everyone that they need to be careful with fireworks. Severe burns, amputa- tions, blindness and in some cases deaths are sometimes the result of 4th of July Cel- Analyzing blood- pressure numbers DEAR DR. GOTT: My hyper- tension has been treated for many years with lisino- pril 20 miligrams daily and amlodipine 5 mil- ligrams daily. These medica- tions seem to have little effect on my numbers. My sys- tolic readings are in the range of 140 to 165, while my diastolic readings are in the 50s. Dr. Peter Gott I recently came across an article on the topic of isolated systolic hyperten- sion, in which a physician pointed out that this form of hypertension can lead to serious problems — stroke, heart disease, chronic kidney disease and dementia. The doctors and nurses who have taken my blood pressure have universally said that the diastolic reading was not a consideration; how- ever, this report indicated that medications to con- trol systolic hypertension should not be allowed to cause the diastolic pres- sure to go below 70 mmHg. I am an 82-year-old diabetic male off medica- tions for three years now due to exercise and diet. I also have symptom-free bradycardia. I would very much appreciate your comments on this report. DEAR READER: I am a little confused. You indi- cate you are a diabetic and have hypertension that was treated with two med- ications. You then go on to state that you have been off medications for three years. Does this mean the antihypertensives, dia- betes meds or both? In any case, I congratulate you on taking control and maintaining a healthier lifestyle. Isolated systolic hyper- tension is defined as a sys- tolic reading of greater than 140 and a diastolic reading of less than 90. The condition can result from hyperthyroidism, a leaky heart valve or other causes. ka. It takes a little bal- ance, but it engages all the muscles, especially the core. As an added bonus, it's been good rehab for my ankle. Even my dogs like getting on the board with me, which I expect- ed from my labs, but I didn't realize how much balance pugs have. So, if you have a chance, get out there and try some paddle boarding. They have rentals at Whiskey- town Lake. I've always been an advocate of getting your workout in no matter what the condition- pouring rain or blazing sun. However, once you've had kidney fail- ure, you learn to train smarter. I have some words of caution to share. I used to go for a run ebrations. at noon and not think twice about it. I wouldn't even take a break during the run to hydrate. Now I know better. I try to get my workouts in after the sun has gone down a bit — usually after work. If I do workout outs at lunch, I make sure they are earlier. I make sure to be totally hydrated before I even start my workout and drink lots of water throughout the workout. If my fingers start to get tingly, that's my cue that I'm probably getting overheated, so I stop. This advice holds true for those of you who have to work outdoors as well. In prolonged work- outs or working out- doors, having something like a sports drink, not an energy drink, would be good. It's easy to get your electrolytes out of whack when you are sweating buckets. As for my fighter update, he was on hiatus from fighting. He was healing up after his last fight as he'd suffered a concussion. He only started sparring again last week and suffered another concussion. He'll be out for some time now. It's one of the dan- gers of the sport. I'm wishing him a speedy and complete recovery. Avery Vilche has her B.A. in physical education and a certificate in exercise physiology. She has been a fitness instructor in Red Bluff for more than 17 years. Her background is in boxing, kick boxing and wrestling. She can be reached at vilcheavery@yahoo.com. July fourth fireworks safety tips from CalFire • Never attempt to re- CALFIRE/TCFD, and the Office of the State Fire Marshal have the following tips: • Always read directions. • Always have an adult present. only. • Use fireworks outdoors • Never use near dry grass or other flammable materials. • Light one at a time. • Keep a safe distance. • Never point or throw fireworks at another person. • Never experiment with fireworks. • Have a bucket of water and a hose handy. light or "fix" fireworks. • Do not wear loose fit- ting clothing. • Never carry fireworks in your pockets. • Fireworks are not toys. • Use only State Fire Marshall approved fire- works. Parents can be held liable for the cost of fighting any fires that their children start. Parents need to watch their children closely and report any fires immediate- ly. Make sure you purchase only fireworks with the approved California State Fire Marshal’s seal. These There was a time when doctors devoted their attention to the second number, the diastolic, with the thought the body could tolerate fluctuations in the first reading. Then there was the “blanket rule” that the first reading would be normal at 100 plus the age of the patient, i.e., 175 in a 75-year-old male. Both schools of thought have been modi- fied. Today, the systolic and dias- tolic are of equal importance, and the 100-plus read- ing has been total- ly abandoned. Of concern in patients with iso- lated systolic hypertension is that prescribed medications may affect the second number, lowering it to the point that it might increase the risk of heart attack or stroke. The fine line then becomes keeping the dias- tolic at no less than 70 mmHg, while simultane- ously keeping the systolic at an appropriate figure, just as the report indicat- ed. My guess is that your diastolic readings are too low, and that you might require medication to bring both numbers into line. Take a copy of the article to your physician for his or her review. A determination can then be made about whether you should be back on the two medications or not. No matter what, I would con- tinue the exercise and diet modification. The lisinopril you are/were taking is an ACE inhibitor used to treat hypertension and conges- tive heart failure. It can be used alone or in conjunc- tion with other drugs for the same purpose. The amlodipine is a calcium channel blocker that works to lower blood pressure and decrease the heart rate. It, too, can be used in conjunction with other drugs for best results. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Hypertension.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com . Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com Shatsa offers two workshops The Shasta College Teaching Garden is offering two new workshops for July. The first is entitled “Backyard Chickens & You.” This workshop will be presented 9-10:30 a.m. on Sat- urday, July 24, at the Shasta College Farm on the main Redding Campus, 11555 Old Oregon Trail, once on campus, follow the signs. This workshop will cover the housing, feeding, and caring for chickens as well as integrating chickens into gardening strategies. Presenting this class will be Casey Schurig and Nancy de Halas. The cost to attend is $15. The second workshop entitled “Insect Manage- ment” will be 1-3 p.m. on Saturday, July 31, in Room 812 in the Social Sciences building, on the main Red- ding Campus. Covered will be the topic “How to Con- trol Insects Naturally, without Pesticides, Herbicides or Any Toxic Chemicals.” Presenting this class will are sold at authorized stands within California. Everyone is encouraged to attend a public fireworks display. And if a fire starts as a result of fireworks, call 911. be Jim Collins. The cost to attend is $20. To register, call 225-4835 or go to www.shastacol- lege.edu/ewd and click on “Pathways Catalog.” For more workshop information, call 242-2248 or email teachinggarden@shastacollege.edu. These Teaching Garden workshops are sponsored in part by the Shas- ta College Foundation. Feed the Children COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check starting at $ (most cars and pick-ups) 2995 + cert. Pass or FREE retest 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. FOODS DRIVE Collection at participating Downtown Merchants. This is to replace meals local Breakfast and Lunch families in need lost when school let out for the summer. Info 528-8000 Jesse Mon.-Fri. 10:30 to 5:30 Sat. 11-3 40 Crafters in 1 Shop! 650 Main St., Red Bluff 530 528-2723 Come & Shop Crafter’s Boutique Or Rent a Space to Sell Your Crafts Gifts for family & friends Plenty of parking on Pine Street