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2A – Daily News – Monday, June 28, 2010 Community people&events Birth announcement Druggie children raising grandson Dear Annie: I have a daughter whose lifestyle includes drugs. She has two children and refuses to let me be a part of their lives. The boy is only 3 years old, and no one has seen him in two months. I have contacted the police, child pro- tective services and the child welfare department. They all tell me that unless I can prove my grandson’s life is in danger, there is nothing they can do. My daughter claims the boy is in Sacramento living in a home with mul- tiple families. by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar It may be the only way to see your grandson again. Dear Annie: I am getting married Annie’s Mailbox to a wonderful man. We both lived independently long enough to accumu- late two of everything. I have requested that, instead of gifts, guests make a donation in our name to a charity of their choice. Here’s the problem: No one is com- plying. They keep insisting there must be something I need. I hate the whole concept of registries or the thought of useless stemware being given when donations to local charities would go much further and make me happier. My future mother-in-law isn’t sup- Cord David Dagorret August and Courtney Dagorret of Richfield are happy to announce the arrival of their son Cord David Dagorret weighing in at 8 pounds, 21 inches long. He was born June 9, 2010, at St. Elizabeth Community Hospital in Red Bluff. Also welcoming Cord is his brother Colt, 3; grandparents Alan and Jaylin Flournoy of Paskenta, Pete and Robin Dagorret of Corning, Kathleen and Tim Compton of Lakeport; great grandparents Lillian Flournoy of Tehama, Monte and Louise Larsen of Salt Lake City, Utah plus many Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. SECRET WITNESS 529-1268 A program of Tehama County Neighborhood Watch Program, Inc. Setting it straight –––––––– It is the policy of the Daily News to correct as quickly as possible all errors in fact that have been published in the newspaper. If you feel a factual error has been made in a news story, call the news department at 527-2153. She will not answer her door, and the police can’t force her. Even though they have talked to her on the phone, the fact is, we still have not seen my grandson. Is anyone able to help me? — Worried Grandma Dear Grandma: Your situation sounds strange. If a child hasn’t been seen in months and the mother refuses to open her door, the police ought to investigate more thoroughly and child protective services should be deeply involved. Keep insisting. However, if the police have deter- mined that the boy is actually safe and sound, but you are being shut out, there is nothing they can do. Call your daughter. See how she’s doing. Ask whether there is anything she needs, and let her know you want to help her. portive of the idea, so she won’t help spread the word. How do I respond when people keep asking, ‘‘No, really, what do you need?’’ — Frustrated Bride-to-Be Dear Frustrated: Brides can make suggestions about gifts (through reg- istries and informing friends), but they don’t make the final decision. Guests can give whatever they choose, like it or not. Tell your friends to help pass the word. Consider registering at a store where the return policy allows you to receive cash back. When people ask what you really want, say calmly, ‘‘I really want donations made to charity. Those would be the most thoughtful gifts we could imagine.’’ But whatever they give, please be gracious enough to send an appreciative thank-you note. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Not Always Greener,’’ who found her birth mother but the relationship did not turn out well. When I was young, I became preg- nant by my then-boyfriend. He was not interested in marriage. I was wildly irresponsible, but smart enough to real- ize I could not provide a decent home for a child. Giving her up for adoption was the most difficult thing I have ever done. For years after, I would regularly cry myself to sleep. Almost 25 years later, I still get sad as her birthday approach- es. I have since built a life that includes a loving husband and two children. If that ‘‘baby’’ showed up at my door, I don’t know how welcoming I’d be. I worked hard to accept the fact that she is no longer mine. I hope she is healthy and happy. I would love to sit down, just the two of us, and talk about why I put her up for adoption and go over her family medical history. But we don’t need a relationship. It may sound cruel and uncaring, but I have a life I want to protect, and that is my choice. Please don’t judge those mothers who gave away their children. Most of us did so believing it was the best thing for the baby. — Still Cry About It Dear Still:We appreciate your can- dor. Thank you for offering the other side. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W.Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Can we legislate beauty? D NEWSAILY HOW TO REACH US RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY THE VOICE OF TEHAMA COUNTY SINCE 1885 VOLUME 125, NUMBER 187 On the Web: www.redbluffdailynews.com MAIN OFFICE: Monday-Friday, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Main Phone (530) 527-2151 Outside area 800-479-6397 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080 ______________________ Fax: (530) 527-5774 ______________________ Mail: Red Bluff Daily News P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 CUSTOMER SERVICE: Subscription & delivery Monday-Friday, 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. (530) 527-2151 Ext. 125 subscription rates (All prices include all applicable taxes) Monday through Saturday $9.59 four weeks Rural Rate $10.69 four weeks Business & professional rate $2.21 four weeks, Monday-Friday By mail: In Tehama County $12.29 four weeks All others $16.23 four weeks (USPS 458-200) Published Monday through Saturday except Sunday, by California Newspaper Partnership. Home delivery NEWS News Tip Hotline: 527-2153 FAX: (530) 527-9251 E-mail: clerk@redbluffdailynews.com Daytime: Sports: Obituaries: Tours: (530) 527-2151 Ext. 111 Ext. 103 Ext. 112 After hours:(530) 527-2153 ______________________ ADVERTISING Monday-Friday, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Display: 527-2151 Ext. 122 Classified: 527-2151 Ext. 103 Online (530) 527-2151 Ext. 133 FAX: (530) 527-5774 E-mail: advertise@redbluffdailynews.com SPECIAL PAGES ON THE FOLLOWING DAYS Mondays: Kids Corner Tuesdays: Employment Wednesdays: Business Thursdays: Entertainment Fridays: Select TV Saturdays: Farm, Religion Publisher & Advertising Director: Greg Stevens gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Editor: Chip Thompson editor@redbluffdailynews.com Sports Editor: Rich Greene sports@redbluffdailynews.com Circulation Manager: Kathy Hogan khogan@redbluffdailynews.com Production Manager: Sandy Valdivia sandy@redbluffdailynews.com newspaper of general circulation, County of Tehama, Superior Court Decree 9670, May 25, 1955 © 2010 Daily News The Red Bluff Daily News is an adjudicated daily – Daily News, June 28, 1920 90 years ago... Miss Ellen Wilson Is Bride of George Cunningham Today Miss Ellen Katherine Wilson and George Albert Cun- ningham were united in marriage by the Rev. F.C. Zim- merman at the Christian parsonage at 9:30 o’clock. The wedding was witnessed by the bride’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Gabe Wilson, her aunts, Mrs. Opha McKenzie and Mrs. A. Heibner and a few immediate friends of the cou- ple. The happy couple will make their home in Red Bluff. Deborah Rhode, a Stanford law professor, recently published "The Beauty Bias: The Injus- tice of Appearance in Life and Work." In her book, she puts forth the argument that appear- ance-based discrimina- tion is pervasive. She also proposed that it could be addressed, at least in part, through leg- islation, in effect, "anti- lookism" laws. Her con- clusions flow from the reality that employees report looks-based dis- crimination at about the same rate as gender or racial discrimination and that such unfairness translates into loads of other tangible problems. This is not a novel concept; six cities and one state already forbid various kinds of appear- House – Apartment FOR RENT Classified Line Ads June Special! Online re-publication in BOOK BARN Used Books FREE TOP LISTINGS RENTALS $11 Value on the front page at www.redbluffdailynews.com 60,000 unique visitors monthly Daily News Classified (530) 527-2151 Tues-Fri 10-5 Sat 10-2 Serving Tehama County since 1994 619 Oak St., Red Bluff (530) 528-2665 ance-based discrimina- tion. Michigan outlawed height and weight dis- crimination in the 1970s. The city of Santa Cruz bans discrimination based on any physical characteristic outside the individual's control. (No one has ever filed a com- plaint in the 15 years the law has been on Santa Cruz’s books and Michi- gan sees about 30 com- plaints and one lawsuit a year due to its law.) I learned of Ms. Rhode’s ideas while reading a Newsweek col- umn by Dahlia Lithwick. Ms Lithwick points out, "discrimination against unattractive women and short men is as perni- cious and widespread as bias based on race, sex, age, ethnicity, religion, and disability." She cites an ice-water-in-your-face statistic: "Eleven percent of surveyed couples say they would abort a fetus predisposed toward obe- sity. College students tell surveyors they’d rather have a spouse who is an embezzler, drug user, or a shoplifter than one who is obese." Let’s rewind: Eleven percent would get an abortion if they felt their unborn child was pre-dis- posed to obesi- ty? College couples would rather have a criminal for a life-partner instead of someone who is obese? I am shocked and saddened; not from some naïve belief that looks matter not but because of how much emphasis we put on one’s external attributes, instead of what really matters, what resides inside. In many ways, we Scott Q. Marcus model who will not con- trol her rage and hurls objects at her employees is far more unsightly than a plump recep- tionist with what I might consider to be a poorly designed hairstyle and an unfortunate choice of out- fits. Is a well- toned athlete with a foul tem- per and a pat- tern of cheating on his spouse more appealing to us than a rotund, undersized, mid- dle-aged fellow who dotes on this family and brings an uplifting sense of humor to his work- place? I sense not. I do not think we can have progressed. Boorish comments about race, heritage, gender, ability, and intelligence are looked at with disgust. The purveyor of such statements is often isolat- ed and shunned. Yet — in many places — a churlish remark about one’s physical character- istics is still considered up to standard, even witty. Even if I thought leg- islation was the right approach to cure such societal ills, how could it be enforced? Will we post beauty cops at street corners? Will some futuristic mega-attractive society require us to have our Body Mass Index tested as regularly as our driver’s license? Yet, it begs a much deeper question. What is "beauty?" A celebrity super- legislate such opinions, but the very conversation of whether or not we can or should calls for us to re-evaluate yet again which traits we deem as appealing. Speaking for myself, I know short men to whom I must look up. And I am fortunate to know heavy women who lighten my life. About the author: Scott "Q" Marcus is a THINspirational speaker and author. Since losing 70 pounds over 15 years ago, he works with overloaded people and organizations who are looking to improve communication, change bad habits, and reduce stress. He can be reached for consulting, workshops, or presentations at 707.442.6243 or scottq@scottqmarcus.co m. He will sometimes work in exchange for chocolate. Mon.-Fri. 10:30 to 5:30 Sat. 11-3 40 Crafters in 1 Shop! 650 Main St., Red Bluff 530 528-2723 Come & Shop Crafter’s Boutique Or Rent a Space to Sell Your Crafts Gifts for family & friends Plenty of parking on Pine Street