Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/117233
8A Daily News ��� Saturday, March 23, 2013 FEATURES Reader trapped in life she no longer loves Post-traumatic stress not afford to put him in a Dear Annie: I���ve been long-term care facility, but married for 36 years. The he needs serious help. Our first 20 were loving, but the sons live out of state with past 16 have deteriorated to their own families. They the point of despair. offer emotional support, but My husband, ������John,������ is aren���t in any position to care now 68. Though once athfor him. letic and active, John is now I stay busy with friends, frail and weak. He complains of chronic headaches Annie���s activities and a part-time job. It helps some, but I see and a host of other physical my own happiness slipping ailments, and worst of all, he suffers from major bouts by Kathy Mitchell away. I am trapped in a life of severe depression. He���s and Marcy Sugar with a man I no longer love but feel obligated to care for suicidal, and chances are good that he���ll take his life if I leave because he���s sick. What should I do? ��� N.N. him. Dear N.N.: Depression is an illJohn is taking medication for his depression. I���ve stuck by him ness, not a choice. Please talk to because he���s a decent man and I John���s doctor about different medcare for him, but I know things ication. His current treatment isn���t won���t get better. If this is what the doing the job. Then contact the rest of my life looks like, I���m afraid National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline (nami.org) at 1-800-950for my own future. What���s also upsetting is that NAMI and the Depression and John���s entire life revolves around Bipolar Support Alliance (dbsalme. I���ve encouraged him to estab- liance.org), and ask what help is lish personal interests and hobbies, available for you, including respite but he won���t. He���s a chore to be care. You desperately need a break. Dear Annie: I am 30 years old with ��� negative and difficult to converse with. And no matter what and decided to go back to college. I direction I take with him when we have made good grades. The probdiscuss his ������problems,������ he ends up lem is two supposedly grown crying ��� a victim, like his mother women in one of my classes. It and sister. We seldom go out with started when one of them broke up friends. Traveling is out of the ques- with my cousin. She blames me. These women talk about me tion. I go alone when I can, but he���s hard to leave beyond a week or two. behind my back, scream in my face, Five years ago, I saw a therapist threaten me and throw things at me. who advised me to leave John. I I have tried to be the bigger person wanted to and still do, but I don���t and ignore them or walk away, but it know whether I can handle the guilt hasn���t stopped. I also went to the of turning my back on him. We can- dean and the teacher and got no Mailbox results. I am getting tired of the harassment, and I still have six more months in this class. What can I do? ��� Fuming in College Dear Fuming: If these women are threatening you, the school should take action. Go back to the dean and say you will have to notify the police if the university won���t deal with the situation. Then do it. Dear Annie: This is in response to ������Concerned,������ who objected to his granddaughter having a photograph of her late grandmother at her wedding. In the past few years, I have attended some weddings of people whose beloved family members had passed away. One niece had a display of both sets of parents and all of her grandparents, including those who had died. Another niece put flowers on her father���s grave the day she got married. I attended a garden wedding where there were three chairs in the front row with ribbons on the back and a rose on the seat for the deceased parents of the groom and the deceased mother of the bride. I thought all of these were wonderful tributes. ��� L. in Florida Annie���s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie���s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Chain reaction - Part II By RONNIE CASEY If you are reading this, then chances are you are concerned about a chained dog, whether or not it is your own. There are things that can be done to assist these hapless animals. First, call the local animal control office if you see a dog that is chained to a stationary object day in and day out. There is a good chance it may not have sufficient food, water or shelter. An official is required to investigate the situation if the dog���s guardian is breaking the law. The dog is counting on you to be the voice he does not have. In Red Bluff, contact the Red Bluff Police Department (530-527-3131), in the city of Corning, contact the Corning Police Department (530-8247000), and for the rest of Tehama County, contact the Tehama County Sheriff���s Office (530-5297900 ext. 1). If the chained dog is your own and there is absolutely no recourse but to keep him outside, put up a fence if the property does not have one. If there is a fence and the dog can jump over it, extend its height. By attaching inexpensive reed fencing to the existing one, the fence becomes difficult for the dog to climb. Install an electric fence. Electric fence kits for fenced and unfenced yards can be purchased at any pet supply store. Some dogs dig under fences to escape. To stop these diggers, bury chicken wire about one foot below the base of the fence or place large rocks or concrete blocks around the bottom. If the previous options do not work, consider using a trolley or pulley that allows the animal to have freedom and a larger area to explore. While on any tether, be sure that it cannot become entangled with or wrapped around any other object and that the dog is able to move and lie down freely. Collars used should be comfortable and properly fitted. Choke chains and pinch collars are never to be utilized. In addition, never tether an animal during any natural disaster situation. These options are not perfect, because all the problems associated with chaining will also apply, among which are attacks on or by other animals or people and continued lack of socialization. Dogs kept outside need shelter to be protected from harsh weather, just CARE TO COMMENT? At redbluffdailynews.com, scroll to the end of any story, click the link and type away. Spring has Sprung, It���s Time to Get Growing, We can Get You Started! as we do. Therefore, they need a solidly constructed doghouse. It should be large enough to allow the dog to stand and turn around easily. Clean, dry bedding such as hay, straw, or cedar shavings should be provided and changed weekly to keep the house hygienic. During hot periods, a doghouse in direct sun is like an oven. Provide shade by placing it under trees or a stretched tarp. Provide an inexpensive kiddie pool in the summer; it is a way for the dog to beat the heat. Remember, some dogs, even when given a proper enclosure, still may not be able tolerate extreme outside temperatures. Enroll the dog in an obedience class. Classes can help the dog learn to be a good "inside" dog, especially if his behavior is why he is being kept outside. Behavior problems such as barking, chewing, and digging often result from boredom. Providing him with stimuli in the form of toys, exercise, socialization, and teaching can help alter any of these undesirable behaviors. Did you know that inside dogs make the best guard dogs? Having a dog that is inside the house will more likely deter an intruder than a dog chained in the yard. If the dog is a roamer, consider spaying and neutering. It will help the dog calm down and stay closer to home; a sterilized dog does not try to escape to find a mate. Additionally, the animal will be healthier because of it. There are also other ways to help chained dogs. Raise community awareness of the problem. Help educate owners so the dogs are seen as living creatures that need love and care. Hopefully, they will learn to treat dogs better. Help the chained dog if you know one. You may not be able to convince the owner to unchain or even relinquish the dog. Nor may you be able to convince him to make any changes to improve the dog���s life. Nevertheless, if all you can do is provide a wellfitting collar, or some toys for the animal, it is success and his life has been enhanced. It is up to us to improve the lives of chained dogs. Ronnie Casey is a volunteer with Providing Essentials for Tehama Shelter. You can read her blog, Mutts & Moggies, at redbluffdailynews.com. PATH schedule The rotating PATH shelter schedule is as follows: March 8-April 5, Church of the Nazarene, 900 Johnson St. April 5-19, First Baptist Church, 501 Pine St. April 19-30, Presbyterian Church, 838 Jefferson St. Just In Time For Warmer Weather! Tax Return Specials Don���t let that return go to ���waist��� when it could get you in shape! 2 Months Tanning Only $50 *Limited to one per person* Must be 18 WYNTOUR GARDENS 365-2256 8026 Airport Road, Redding I-5 North, Exit #673, Rt on Knighton, Rt on Airport Located 1 mile south of the Airport (Next to Kents Mkt) Open Mon-Sat 8-5 & Sunday���s 10-4 wyntourgardens.com Facebook inform@wyntourgardens.com 3 Ways to Save Hundreds on Memberships 4 months ��� 8 months or Annual Membership Specials call or go to tehamafamilyfitness.com for more info on membership pricing. Standard rate apply after promotion Tehama Family Fitness Center 2498 South Main St, Red Bluff ��� 528-8656 www.tehamafamilyfitness.com after a single event and earthquakes. DEAR DOCIt���s normal to TOR K: A few experience fear, months ago I was shock, helplessin a serious car ness, stress and accident. Since extreme sadness then I���ve been soon after a trauincredibly jumpy matic event. But if and have trouble you���re still experisleeping. My wife thinks I may have Dr. K encing these reactions more than PTSD. Could she by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. one month after be right? the event, that DEAR READER: Post-traumatic stress might indicate a problem. disorder ��� PTSD ��� is a I���ve put a brief questioncondition in which dis- naire on my website, tressing symptoms occur AskDoctorK.com. Your after a major trauma. responses to these quesPTSD is often discussed tions might help you in the context of troops determine if you���re sufferwho have served in war ing from PTSD. When diagnosing zones, but you don���t have to see battle to get PTSD. PTSD, doctors often look For example, one of my for three things: ��� Hyperarousal. This patients with PTSD, like you, was in a terrible auto is an ongoing state of tenaccident as a young man. sion that resembles a The accident, which broke ���fight or flight��� response many bones and caused to danger. You may expehim to be hospitalized for rience insomnia, angry many weeks, occurred at a outbursts, an exaggerated particular intersection not startle response and far from his home ��� a h y p e r v i g i l a n c e . drunk driver ran a red Headaches, trembling, diarrhea and fatigue are light. For years afterward, common. ��� Avoidance. You every time he came near the intersection, his heart may feel detached or raced, he broke out in a numb. You may be unable sweat and he felt like he to talk about the traumatic was going to die. Finally, event or revisit the place he stopped driving any- where it occurred. PTSD where near that intersec- patients also often withtion. But he still had bad draw from people and dreams. Fortunately, with social events, particularly treatment his PTSD those even remotely assobecame much less of a ciated with the trauma. ��� Re-experiencing. problem. About 10 years ago, This is the worst sympthough, just after he tom. You may have retired, the bad dreams unwelcome and disruptive came back. His explana- thoughts about the event tion: ���When I no longer that interfere with normal had to worry about work, I concentration and funcwas free to worry about tion. Recurrent nightother things.��� An aggres- mares are also quite typisive schedule of church cal. In extreme cases, you work, book clubs and may mentally relive the travel helped beat back the traumatic experience. Talk to your doctor. PTSD. A single crisis (such as Whether or not you have a serious car accident) or a PTSD, you clearly need series of events ��� as long support to recover from as they are severe enough your experience. If it is ��� can cause PTSD. You PTSD, psychological supcould also have PTSD fol- port, drug therapy or a combination should help. lowing: ��� airplane accidents; Dr. Komaroff is a ��� physical assaults, robberies or kidnappings; physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. ��� fires; ��� heart attacks and To send questions, go to other major physical ill- AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck nesses; ��� natural disasters, St., Second Floor, Boston, such as hurricanes, floods MA 02115. Winery seeks volunteer helpers Tehama Oaks Winery in Red Bluff wants to share the process of raising grapes, managing vineyards, processing grapes and making and bottling our wines with those of you that have an interest in doing so. The first step in doing so is to compile a special list of customers that have an interest in volunteering. The group will be called The Tehama Oaks Vino-Volunteers. To add your name to the list, simply send an email to tehamaoaks@gmail.com and give your name, phone number, the days of the week that you are available to volunteer and a brief description of what you would like to do. All volunteer tasks will be limited to 2-4 hours of non-strenuous activity in the vineyard or winery. Of course, all work and no play is no fun, so there will always be a little tasting with the work. Have a news tip? Call 527-2151, Ext. 112 INCOME TAX PREPARATION Fast, Friendly, Reasonable Fees Fee for Short or Long form includes all the tax credits and E-filing with direct Deposit. Also Bookkeeping, Payroll and Financial Services available P RALPH CAMPBELL, EA Enrolled Agent 855 Walnut St. #2 530-529-9540