Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/10644
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 – Daily News – 3B FEATURES Don’t want pack of naked teens in my home Dear Annie: My hus- band and I are in our mid- 60s. For the past five years, we have been the guardians of my daughter’s 13-year- old son, ‘‘Jake.’’ When I married 12 years ago, I cer- tainly didn’t expect to be raising a teenager at my age. I know that raising kids today is nothing like it was 30 years ago, but Jake seems well adjusted. He’s a top student, an outstanding athlete and a fine young man with friends we approve of. Here’s the problem: Jake recently asked if he and his friends could sleep in the nude when they stay over. He has been teased about living with ‘‘the old folks’’ and claims we are the only ones who don’t allow it. I checked with the other parents, and they confirm this. In fact, at ‘‘Jay’s’’ house, the boys remain unclothed all day. Jay’s mother says they are often naked while playing video games, watch- ing TV or snacking in the kitchen. They frequently appear in the nude at breakfast if they are going skinny- dipping in the pool after. She sees no need for them to dress. Annie, I’m not opposed to nudi- ty. I have no problem with Jake sleeping naked in his room or skin- ny-dipping — even the coed kind. But somehow, the idea of six teenage boys running around the house naked all day bothers me. Hubby assures me that it’s a ‘‘guy thing’’ and all teenage boys do it. He remembers fondly how he Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar swam naked at the YMCA through his college years at an all-male school. He says it builds character and is a significant male bonding experience. Indeed, he encourages it. I don’t have anyone to ask about this. Our best friends are our contempo- raries and would be appalled if their grandkids ran around naked. Have you ever heard of this before? Is it com- mon? How do other parents handle this? — Not Over the Hill Dear Not: In certain times and places (swimming pools, overnight camp), group nudity among young men is not unusual. Being naked all day, however, is much less com- mon, and we would not encourage it. Don’t be badgered into agreeing to something that makes you uncomfortable. You do not have to allow it, nor do you need to apolo- gize. It’s your house, and you get to set the rules. Dear Annie: Our eldest daugh- ter will be getting married this fall. Naturally, the guest list will need to have a limit. We would like to somehow soothe the ruffled feathers of those who might have expected an invitation, but won’t receive one. This would primarily be our friends who know our daughter but do not have a close relationship with her. How should this be done? — Father of the Bride Dear Father: In years past, those who were not invited to the wedding received an engraved wed- ding announcement. It is also not uncommon to send out invitations for a casual reception several weeks after the wedding for those who could not be included in the main event. If that is not within your bud- get, you can mail an invitation (or use Evite) to join the bride and groom for an informal toast or party in celebration of their marriage, usually held at someone’s home or a nearby restaurant. Dear Annie: This is for ‘‘Blind- sided in Vermont,’’ whose married brother picks fights with her until she’s in tears. You said she must learn not to respond to his attempts to aggravate her. I have a smart brother who is a fast thinker with a huge vocabulary, and he is my polar opposite politi- cally. He would start an argument and beat me down to the point where I would nearly cry. One day, my husband said, ‘‘Don’t let him get to you. When he starts in, say, ’I hear the swallows are coming back to Capistrano.’’’ So I did. It took a while, but it worked. My brother now can’t get a rise out of me, and he stopped talk- ing politics. And we get along much better. - Greensboro, N.C. Dear Greensboro: We love it! Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Voter registration deadline looms Beverly Ross and the Tehama County Elections Department would like to remind voters that the last day to register to vote for the June 8 election is May 24. Registered voters who have moved within the county, changed their name or changed a mail- ing address must com- plete a new voter regis- tration card. Election material may not be for- warded. Registration cards are available at all post offices, library branches, city halls, the Clerk & Recorders office, the Elections office and at www.co.tehama.ca.us, or may be obtained by call- ing the Elections Depart- ment at 527-8190 or toll free at (886) 289-5307. For more information, call the Elections Depart- ment or send an email to elections@co.tehama.ca. us. Shasta College summer classes begin soon Register now for summer classes that will begin on June 7 at Shasta College. Classes offered range from Administration of Justice, Interna- tional Business, Early Childhood Education, Humanities, Literacy, Communication, English, Math, Psychology, Sign Language, Span- ish and College Success. Fall 2010 classes will begin Aug. 16. Get ready now by taking a placement test, attending an orien- tation and meeting with a coun- selor. All services are offered at each of the Extended Education campuses in Red Bluff, Weaverville, and Burney. Several new courses have been added to the offerings, including Wildlife Law Enforcement, Envi- ronmental Ethics and Technical Applications of Mathematics. Using the college’s interactive tele- vision network, a student can earn a two-year degree without traveling to the main campus in Redding. New to the Tehama Campus is a state of the art science lab that will host lab classes for Anatomy, Phys- iology, Biology, Chemistry and Natural Resources and the recently completed third building containing a student lounge. For more information about any of these courses or to register for classes, call the Shasta College Tehama Campus at 529-8980 or visit www.shastacollege.edu. Mental Health Remembrance Walk As you may or may not know, May is Mental Health Month. Most people don’t real- ize that the mortality rates for both natural and unnatural causes of death among people with severe and persistent mental ill- ness is more than twice that of the general popula- tion. The average age of death for those with severe and persistent mental illness is 52.4 years versus 72.8 years for the general popula- tion. You may have lost someone you know and love much earlier than you felt you should have. Most of us have. We welcome you to join us for a Mental Health Remembrance Walk on Friday, May 28. It will start at noon at Tehama County Health Services Agency, Mental Health Division building located at 1445 Vista Way in Red Bluff. The walk should take no more than 30 minutes and people of all ages and abilities are encour- aged to participate. Those who are unable to walk can meet back at 1445 Vista Way for some healthy snacks and water. Some people will be shar- ing their stories, which are sure to inspire every- one. A moment of silence to honor all departed friends will be observed. For questions contact Avery Vilche at 527- 5631. 25-year-old is forgetful DEAR DR. GOTT: Is there any- thing I can do about my memory? I am 25 and seem to have a real problem remembering things, whether it’s studying for a test or something my wife has told me to remember. It’s frus- trating for both of us. a failing car, insomnia or other issues that need to be addressed? Does your wife want to have a Dr. Peter Gott DEAR READER: Mem- ory loss, whether short- or long-term, in young adults can be the result of a variety of causes. It occurs when the portion of the brain that stores memory becomes compromised. Short-term loss issues include brain infections such as meningi- tis and encephalitis, trau- matic brain injuries, vitamin B1 deficiency and specific drugs. Meningitis is inflamma- tion or infection of the mem- branes that cover the brain and spinal cord. There are a number of types of meningi- tis, including bacterial, asep- tic, Cryptococcus, tubercu- lous and those caused by the coxsackievirus or echovirus. Encephalitis is inflam- mation of the brain. It can be caused by a viral infection transmitted by an infected mosquito, the herpes virus- es, childhood infections (such as measles, mumps and rubella) and arbovirus- es. Other causes include lead or other poisoning or bleeding. Post-infectious encephalitis can result from measles, chickenpox or other infection and can fol- low a smallpox vaccination. Traumatic brain injuries can occur from an automo- bile accident, falls, blows to the head and similar inci- dents. Vitamin B1 deficiency, also known as Wernicke- Korsakoff syndrome, is induced by alcoholism and chronic malnourishment. Short- and long-term mem- ory loss may result. Recreational drug use, including LSD, cocaine, PCP, alcohol and marijuana, can affect memory, as can prescription barbiturates, tricyclic antidepressants, aminophylline, methyl- dopa, digoxin, diuretics and others. Improvement is often noticed once the offending drug has been discontinued. Then there’s sleep depri- vation, stress, depression, job insecurity, additional responsibilities, financial concerns and information overload. Has something occurred in your life that weighs heavily? Do you have a parent who is ill, mounting bills, marital issues, school scholarships dependent on your grades, child but you don’t feel ready? Life today appears fraught with numerous issues that are sometimes difficult to handle. Perhaps the first step is to speak with her to bring things of concern out into the open. You may simply be picking up on something going on in her life that you don’t completely under- stand. When was the last time you had an examination by your family physician? If one is overdue, schedule an appointment to make sure that there is no med- ical reason for your forget- fulness. Ask whether lab work or other testing is appropriate to rule out any deficiencies. Perhaps your diet is inadequate or your weight needs to be addressed. Once you tap into the basics, you can get on to other possible causes for what must be a terribly annoying situation. Maybe counseling for one or both of you will get things back on the right track. At 25, you should be at the top of your game, or at least close to the top. Get your priorities straight, and then get to the bottom of things so you can remember that jar of jam at the grocery store or the pair of slacks that has been at the dry cleaners for four weeks. Consider keeping a pencil and small calendar in your shirt pocket. Making notes of responsibilities, appoint- ments and honey-dos should be beneficial. Open- ness and a positive attitude will help. Because I touched on insomnia, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Sleep/Wake Disorders.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newslet- ter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Tehama County’s Personal/Professional Service Directory Attorney Local Bankruptcy Attorney Jocelyn C. Olander 530-824-0288 Free Consultation Payment Plans Available Web: www.jcoattyatlaw.com email: mail@jcoatty atlaw.com A federally qualified Debt Relief Agency under 11 U.S.C. 101(12(A)) Bankruptcy BANKRUPTCY Free information $50/mo. + court fee MICHAEL O. HAYS Attorney at Law 1-800-387-9299 AT YOUR SERVICE! Clock Repair 530-736-7079 Grandpa’s Clocks Jim Paul 20910 Pebblestone Dr. Red Bluff Shelf & 31 Day Clocks Repaired Call for appt. Member NAWCC Cuckoo Clocks, Anniversary, Wall, Clock Repair James W. 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