Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/370207
AUG. 27 - SEPT. 2, 2014 UCW 19 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS MP3s a Crowd I've been dating a girl for two months, and I go back and forth from thinking the relationship has legs to wanting to end it. I just had a birthday, and she got me a new iPod Touch with my name engraved on the back. I told her it was too extravagant, but she insisted I keep it. For some reason, I now want to break up with her even more, but I feel guilty about ending it after she got me this pricey gift. — iClod Desperation is always so sexy — like Abraham Lincoln in a lime- green mankini. There is a natural order to things. The tennis ball does not chase the dog. (Imagine how freaked your dog would be if it did.) It also tends to go over poorly when women overtly pursue men. Males evolved to be the chasers of our species (and most other species) — to do the wooing and gift giving. Females evolved to be the choosier sex, to give men the squint-eye and wait for them to prove they are "providers." When a woman turns the tables and does the wooing, like by giving a man an expensive present right out of the gate, the man tends to suspect there's something wrong with her. If he wasn't already ambivalent, he'll likely get ambivalent. (Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man you just started dating an iPod and you'll be fishing for a new boyfriend.) What you need to figure out is whether your "lemme outta here" feelings are about her or the fact that she got you what may seem like an iShackle. ("Hey, honey…here's the present you'd get if we had a serious relationship — so now give me the serious relationship.") Give this a week or two and consider whether her gift was desperation-driven or whether she maybe just got into shopping mode and, oops, went a little wild at the mall. If you decide that your initial reaction — wanting out — is where you really stand, don't be delayed by the price of the gift. The right time to break up is as soon as you know it's over. If you stay with her, you might gently confide that what works best for you in a relationship is taking things slowly. We long for what's slightly out of reach, not what's hanging all over us raining small appliances: "I know you like music, so I'm giving you an iPod." Your impulse: "And I know you like shoes, so I'm giving you the boot." WEEKLY HOROSCOPES ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, exercise caution when expressing your needs. It can be difficult to stop when you are drumming up so much excitement. Now is not the time to take a risk. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, you may have overextended yourself this week. You didn't realize you had taken on so much until it was too late, but there is still time to backtrack. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, committing to a daily routine can have a strong impact on your overall health. Consider tailoring a new routine for yourself, and you'll reap the healthy rewards. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Take things slow with a budding relationship this week, Cancer. You don't want to go too fast and find yourself in over your head. Let things develop gradually. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, carefully consider any offer that seems too good to be true this week. While the person making the offer is not ill-intentioned, you still must exercise caution. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Big ideas sweep in this week and leave you with a lot of inspiration, Virgo. Don't get too lost in fantastical ideas, though. Wait a little bit before finalizing plans. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Err on the side of caution with regard to spending this week, Libra. You have to save up for a bigger purchase that's on the horizon, so try to save as much as you can now. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, only now do you realize how much you have on your plate. Think about postponing a getaway until your schedule is less packed and you can enjoy the trip even more. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, turn work into play and things will move along that much more quickly. Split up the tasks at hand with a friend or colleague, and the week will fly by. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, even though you don't have much time for yourself, you feel compelled to spend more time with others. Make some time for yourself as well. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, you secretly enjoy when others come to you for advice. Think carefully before making any suggestions, and your friends will be more appreciative because of it. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Now is the time to further your studies, Pisces. Figure out how to finance a return to school and make the most of the opportunity. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The May 28 US Airways flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia had to be diverted to Kansas City after a passenger's service dog did what dogs do, in the aisle, twice (an hour apart). One passenger used the terms "lingering smell," "dry heaving" and "throwing up" in describing the situation. (2) On a recent (perhaps July) Delta flight from Beijing to Detroit, a Chinese couple apparently nonchalantly laid down paper on their toddler's seat and encouraged him to address his bowels' needs despite numerous pleas from nearby passengers to take him to the restroom. According to Chinese news reports, social media sites erupted in criticism of the family for its embarrassing behavior. [KCTV (Kansas City), 5-30-2014] [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 7-28- 2014] Democracy in Action Steve Grossman, Massachusetts' state treasurer, who is running for governor, performed heroically at a candidate forum in March. The Boston Globe reported that Grossman "fervently answered questions on everything from transgender rights (to) sex education (and) issues facing (the) aging members of the (gay/ transgender) community" while simultaneously passing a kidney stone (which most victims rate as "level 10" pain -- the highest on the medical scale, described by some as comparable to childbirth). [Boston Globe, 3-26-2014] Steve Wiles gathered only 28 percent of the vote in his North Carolina state senate race in May after revelations that he -- lately an opponent of gay rights -- was until about four years ago a gay male who worked as the female impersonator "Mona Sinclair" at a gay nightclub in Winston-Salem. As recently as April, however (three weeks before a newspaper's revelation), Wiles was categorically denying that he used to be Mona Sinclair. "That's not me," he said. "That's him," said a man who worked with him at the club. Said the club's then-co-owner: "I have no ax to grind against him. I just think he's a liar." [Winston-Salem Journal, 5-3- 2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard