Up & Coming Weekly

May 06, 2014

Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.

Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/307722

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Page 27 of 32

MAY 7-13, 2014 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Sneer Pressure My boyfriend of eight years and I love each other to death and are very happy. Still, I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me that some people think we aren't in a "real" relationship because we aren't married and live separately. Is there a way to get them to respect the validity of our relationship without walking down the aisle? — Unwed Because women always have a high potential cost from any sex act — pregnancy and a mouth to feed — we evolved to look for reliable signals that a man will commit. The most reliable are what evolutionary psychologists call "costly signals" -- those so pricey that only a man who truly loves a woman would be willing to shell out for. A diamond engagement ring is one of these, as is a man signing a contract to spend the rest of his life with one woman when it's in his genetic interest (and lots of fun!) to pursue a more McDonald's-like dream: "Billions and billions, um, serviced." This isn't to say your unaccredited love lacks value. In fact, a marriage license is like a dog license. If you don't get your dog a license, it doesn't mean he isn't real or worthy of a head scratch. But where unmarried partnerships do fall short is in the legal protections department. Rights that come with marriage — like the right to be by your partner's bedside in the hospital — will, for the coupled but unwed, require filling out documents to get. You can have a lawyer draw these up, but my boyfriend of 11 years and I used Nolo's WillMaker Plus 2014 software, which, for about $40, has the essentials -- a will, a living will, and power of attorney for health care and for finances (designating somebody to, say, pay your mortgage if you get clocked over the head and are too comatose to do it yourself). Unfortunately, WillMaker Plus is PC- only, but the health care directive and power of attorney only ask for names and contact info of the people you're designating, so if you have a Mac, you could fill this out on a friend's PC without worrying about identity theft. As for the will, Nolo's editor suggested putting in only the most general details about your accounts and attaching a letter with the specifics. In other words, with a little paperwork, it really is possible to not have your wedding cake and eat it, too — that is, if you can come to accept that your relationship's approval ratings will never match those of that married woman you see in the supermarket aisle screaming her husband into a small pile of ash. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19). Imbalances will be righted, though not immediately. It will take time for equilibrium to settle in, but eventually the excess in one area will flow into the emptiness in another, and all will even out. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You possess a combination of characteristics that keep your love interested, though you might not realize exactly what they are. You'll be slightly more self-aware now. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Instead of trying to figure out where you went wrong, ask for help. Others saw the mistake. By asking for help, you'll save yourself time and improve your strategy in one fell swoop. CANCER (June 22-July 22). It's better to do more with your presentation than risk being under-prepared or, worse, underdressed. An attitude that's too casual will send the wrong message. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). One way to test the water is to dip a toe in. Another is to ask the people who are already swimming . Your way will be to dive in. Someone has to be the leader. You're good at it, so why shouldn't it be you? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you feel vaguely threatened by the others in the room, take that as a good sign. You'll do your best when there's competition for the prize you want. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). In some way, you'll have to vote for yourself. Never mind that it's an awkward position. Take a stand for yourself. If you don't, you can't expect anyone else to adopt your cause. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Take a lead from the giant tortoise, who can live far past 100 years. Whether in work, relationships or life in general, longevity has something to do with slowing down. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Try not to be offended by what people say or do out of jealousy. If you can separate your ego from the situation, you'll see that their reaction is actually enormously flattering. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your agreement and approval can be like a chip that people around you feel they have to earn. Given your current compassionate mood, you won't want to make them work too hard for this. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Artistic inclinations will be highlighted today, and it will give you a certain pleasure to create a striking visual with your work, environment or presence. You'll make people think. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You want to agree with someone you like; however, if you listen very closely, you'll probably find that you can't wholeheartedly sign off on it. You're not of the same mind, so speak up. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD First-term U.S. Rep. Ted Yoho of Florida is already among the House's most conservative members, but his Republican primary challenger claims to be even more so -- but with a quixotic, longtime hobby as a costumed, role- playing "gamer." Challenger Jake Rush (in his day job, a lawyer) portrays supernatural characters as a prominent member of the national Mind's Eye Society and Florida's Covenant of the Poisoned Absinthe, including a vampire named "Chazz Darling," who, according to a Yahoo message board, once left an explicit, body-parts- bloodying threat to a role-player with whom he had been feuding. (The Florida political report SaintPetersBlog broke the story -- and was quickly criticized, less by Rush's political defenders than by the indignant "cosplay" community, feeling mocked.) [SaintPetersBlog, 4-1-2014] [MiamiNewTimes.com, 4-1-2014] Government in Action A scandal erupted in 2013 at Minot (N.D.) Air Force Base when missile- launch specialists were charged with cheating on proficiency tests, but additional documents uncovered by the Associated Press in March 2014 show that the problem was worse than originally reported. The overall missile- launch program, run by "missileers," was judged "substandard" -- the equivalent of an F grade in school -- and "rehabilitated" in the eyes of Air Force officers only because the 91st Missile Wing Command's support staff (cooks, drivers, clerks, etc.) scored very high and brought the command's overall performance to the equivalent of a D. [Associated Press via PBS Newshour, 3-14-2014] The tax software company Vertex reported in March, via the Tax Foundation, that tax-hating American states have somehow organized themselves into nearly 10,000 sales/ use-tax jurisdictions with distinct rules, coverages or exemptions. Ironically, states criticized as tax profligates sometimes have the simplest systems (e.g., one set of rules covering the entire state, such as in Connecticut, Massachusetts and Washington, D.C.) while states regarded as refuges from intrusive government often have the most complicated (e.g., 310 different jurisdictions in Utah, 587 in Oklahoma, 994 in Iowa and 1,515 in Texas). [TaxFoundation.org, 3-24-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard IN THE MORNING Weekdays 5:30AM to 10:00AM

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