Up & Coming Weekly

April 29, 2014

Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.

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Page 30 of 32

30 UCW APRIL 30 - MAY 6, 2014 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS All Doc and No Action I've been going to the same primary care doctor for a few years. I'm very attracted to him, and I believe he's attracted to me, too. There's always been a dynamic between us. I thought it was his "bedside manner," but when I asked others, they didn't have the same experience with him. I know he isn't married. Also, I am very healthy and only see him annually for "well checks." Do you have any advice on whether I should do anything? — Patiently Waiting There are all sorts of places a doctor can go to meet women but he can lose his license for dating those he picks up in his reception area. Not only does the American Medical Association deem current patients off-limits but a former patient can also be a no-go if it seems the sexual relationship started through an exploitation of trust, knowledge, or emotions from the doctor-patient relationship. Because rules can vary from place to place, it's wise to check with your state medical board to see whether they have stricter standards. For example, Colorado's Medical Practice Act imposes a six-month waiting period before your doctor is allowed to see you in a dress that doesn't tie in the back and expose your butt crack. Even if your doctor does have the hots for you, he probably has an even stronger desire to avoid downscaling to "driving" a shopping cart, collecting cans, and living beside a dumpster. So, the first move, if any, must be yours — putting an unambiguous end to the medical portion of your relationship. Do this in writing, adding something like, "You're an excellent doctor, but I would like to see a doctor closer to my house." It doesn't matter whether that's true. It just has to get the message across — without impugning his skills — that you're formally outta there. At the end, add, "I would, however, be interested in seeing you socially." That little addition might not seem like much, but as linguist Steven Pinker notes about a remarkable feature of human psychology, even the slightest veiling of what we really mean will allow people to pretend it meant something innocuous. The deniability "doesn't have to be plausible, only possible," Pinker explains in a paper. So, if Dr. McDreamy doesn't want the romantic relationship you do, he can pretend you're just suggesting it would be nice to bump into him at a gallery opening or something, not bump into him between your sheets. But before you do anything, you should accept that you may have misread the signals, and he may not be interested. Either way, you'll need a new doctor, whom you can search for online — ideally, on your health plan site, not Match.com. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you have a great deal of energy but have no idea where to focus all of it. This could be a good week to visit with friends and family and spend time together. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Don't get swept away by old habits, Taurus. It is time to try something new and get a new perspective. Accept a new challenge and you will be glad for having done so. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, you may be tempted to question the actions of others this week. But try to focus instead on what you are doing and do not be concerned with the motivations of other people. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you have to go to great lengths to get your point across this week. Approach such situations with tact and patience and do your best to simplify your point of view. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, all you need is a little spark to motivate you this week. You may be able to tackle projects around the house or assignments at work with ease and a little inspiration. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, your romantic life is full of complicated patterns and obstacles, which could be taking their toll on your relationship. Some subtle changes might get things back on track. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Unfortunately, sitting back and doing nothing this week will move you nowhere fast, Libra. The vacation is over; you need to find the motivation to increase the pace. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Things move along quite smoothly for you this week, Scorpio. There are plenty of distractions heading your way, but do your best to stay focused. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Get outdoors and enjoy some fresh air, Sagittarius. Fresh air is just what you need after a bout of cabin fever. The weather is breaking and outside projects beckon. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, start planning a much-needed vacation for you and your significant other. Some time away from the hustle and bustle is just what the both of you need. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Trust your instincts, Aquarius. When something seems off-kilter, you owe it to yourself to trust your gut and speak up, even if others aren't ready to believe you. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Express your passion for a special project to a loved one, Pisces. Don't be afraid to share your feelings with those closest to you. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The billion-dollar deer-farming industry in America produces generations of bucks growing progressively larger racks of antlers mainly for eventual bragging rights by the so-called "hunters" who will pay large fees to kill them in fenced- in fields just so they can hang the grotesque antlers in their dens. Even before the farm-raised deer are stalked (reported The Indianapolis Star in March in its multipart investigation), bucks' necks habitually slump from the weight of the freakish antlers. Most states allow such "hunting," and in some, the activity is lightly regulated, lacking the safety rules and more- humane conditions required by open- forest hunting laws and agriculture protocols. The Indianapolis Star also highlighted several captive-deer diseases that doctors still worry might jump species to humans (as "mad cow" disease did). [Indianapolis Star, 3-27-2014] Recurring Themes News of the Weird has several times chronicled the sad saga of India's holy but severely polluted Ganges River, on which millions of Hindus are dependent -- through hands-on worship -- for worldly success and for salvation. Now, recent reports reveal that the second-holiest river, the Yamuna, is suffering the same fate even though the government has invested nearly $1 billion in programs to clean it up. Currently, for example, more than 400 million gallons of untreated sewage, plus various industrial chemicals, enter the river from Delhi, but still, motivated worshippers come to "bathe" for glory. [Daily Telegraph (London), 2-24-2014] Stories That Never Get Old: Dayton, Ohio, bus driver Rickey Wagoner, 49, survived a three-bullet shooting in February that, police said, was probably a gang initiation that randomly targeted him as he worked on his bus' engine. A police sergeant told the Dayton Daily News that Wagoner "should probably not be here" and survived the attack only because two of the bullets were blocked by a copy of "The Message" (a contemporary version of the Bible) in Wagoner's shirt pocket. [Dayton Daily News, 2-24-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard present Cumberland Oratorio Singers & Cross Creek Chorale "Mass of the Children" Saturday, May 3, 2014 • 7:30PM Reeves Auditorium • Methodist University Admission: $20 at the door. Discounts for groups of 10 or more. Students of all ages admitted FREE. For more information visit www.singwithCOS.org Up & Coming Weekly The Florence Rogers Charitable Trust Cape Fear Botanical Garden ER Marketing John Rutter Featuring a 60 voice children's choir

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