Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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6 UCW DECEMBER 20-26, 2023 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM Let's spend some time with Aesop today. Aesop was churning out fables 2500 years ago. For someone who existed before the NY Times or Fox News told him what to think, his stories have a remarkable shelf life. Consider the story of the frogs who wished for a king. Spoiler alert : Be careful what you wish for. Now you can skip the rest of this drivel. Go directly to the crossword puzzle. For both of you who are still reading: Once upon a time there was a pond full of frogs. e frogs had no government. It was pondemonium. ey did froggy things all the live long day. When they felt froggy, they jumped. Eventually, the frogs got bored with froggy freedom. ey decided they needed a government to pro- vide bread and circuses to keep them entertained. ey asked Zeus to send a king to their pond. Zeus thought this was a stupid request. Fortunately for the frogs, Zeus was in an upbeat mood. He decided to indulge them and grant their request. Zeus threw a large log into the pond telling them the Log was their new king. e huge splash scared all the frogs into hiding in the cat tails for several days. Eventually Pierre, one of the braver frogs, slipped out of the cat tails, touched the Log, and jumped away. e Log just lay there like a bump on a log. Pierre gathered up his courage and touched Log again. Finally, Pierre jumped on Log and nothing happened. All the other frogs came out and began using Log as a diving platform. After a while, they got bored with King Log and asked Zeus to send a more active King. is time, Zeus was irritated by the frogs' whin- ing. Uh oh. Zeus decided to teach the frogs a lesson by sending them a more active king. Zeus sent them a Heron to replace their passive Log King. e Heron King was hangry and began stabbing and eating the frogs in a royal frenzy. e frogs pleaded with Zeus to take the Heron back from their pond. Zeus refused. He told them that they wanted a King and now they were going to be King Heron chow. Aesop was a good prognosticator. Currently, both Republicans and Democrats have Herons. Former Guy Trump was asked if he was elected, would he abuse power and be a dictator? Former Guy said "I want to be a dictator for one day. You know why I wanted to be a dictator? Be- cause I want a wall, and I want to drill, drill, drill." Very few rulers who become dictators only do it for one day. It's too much fun dictating to quit after just once. People of a certain vintage may remember the old Lays Potato chip ad in which the Devil says "Betcha can't eat just one potato chip.' Betcha Former Guy can't dictate for just one day. Dictating is like eating potato chips, he ain't gonna stop dictating after Day One. If you want an Orange King Heron to eat up your freedoms, vote for the Former Guy. Maya Angelou said: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Who you gonna believe? Former Guy or your lying eyes? On the left side of the political pond, we have the three Presidents of Harvard, MIT, and Penn who could not bring themselves to say genocide of Jews is antisemitism. Willful blindness is not a pretty sight. It is not confined to frogs who want an Orange King. Pro tip: Genocide is defined as: "e deliberate killing of a large number of people from a particu- lar nation or ethnic group with the aim of destroy- ing that nation or group." If someone wants to kill a group of people because they are Jews, that qualifies as antisemi- tism. Perhaps the Academics believe George Costan- za's theory that "It is not a lie, if you believe it." It remains unclear if the Presidents believe their lie or are so divorced from reality by politi- cal correctness that they are astoundingly stupid. Apparently, perjury is just for the little people, not Academic Lords or Tobacco CEOs. Watching the three Academic Presidents twist themselves into moral pretzels to hide behind the word "context" about genocide reminded me of 1994 when seven tobacco company CEOs testified before Congress that they did not believe nicotine was addictive. Upton Sinclair noted: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary de- pends on his not understanding it." What have we learned today? Not much. Both political extremes are goofy. Avoid Orange Herons and Politically Correct Academic Morons. Otherwise, you may find yourself between the Devil and the Deep Blue Cheese. Happy New Election Year! PITT DICKEY, Columnist. COMMENTS? Editor@upandcomingweek- ly.com. 910-484-6200. Fun with frogs and presidents by PITT DICKEY OPINION (Illustration by Pitt Dickey)