Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/119207
Tuesday, April 2, 2013 ��� Daily News 3B FEATURES Military family dealing with PTSD issues Dear Annie: My father, my brothers and I all served during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Only my father and I deployed to combat areas. Dad retired five years ago and is showing drastic symptoms Annie���s of PTSD. He is stockpiling food and medical supplies and keeps by Kathy Mitchell trying to get my wife and Marcy Sugar and me to ������prepare������ for when ������it all hits the fan.������ He spends hours a day obsessively watching the news and getting angry at the television. Our children used to spend time unsupervised with my parents, but that stopped when I found a loaded handgun in his bathroom cabinet. My mother has broached the topic of therapy, and I���ve offered to go with him, as I���ve been wrestling with some mild PTSD issues myself. But my brothers intercede every time and say Dad���s fine and it���s no big deal, and they convince him not to go. I believe this is dangerous. Mailbox I���ve been unable to find any home counseling services, and even our pastor says this is out of his realm of expertise. What other options are out there? ��� New York Son Dear Son: You may have better luck getting your father to accept help if you approach this as a possible medical problem, rather than a psychiatric issue. We also suggest you ask him to join you for an exercise or yoga class, which can be useful for some PTSD sufferers. Also, please contact the VA���s National Center for PTSD (ptsd.va.gov) or Military One Source (militaryonesource.mil) at 1-800342-9647, and ask to speak to a counselor or get a referral to local military treatment facilities. Dear Annie: My maternal grandparents passed within months of each other. My mother hated her parents and kept them away from us. I never knew them well. I���m in my late 20s and have never been an emotional person. I went to my grandparents��� funerals out of respect, but my sister went overboard, sobbing and moaning during the service even though she knew them less than I did. For weeks after, she emailed and texted me saying she couldn���t sleep and that she���d never ������fill the hole������ the loss represented. My sister and my parents say I���m heartless because I didn���t respond this way. My mother actually upbraided me for not weeping sufficiently. People grieve in different ways. How do I nicely ask them to please stop crying on me because it���s making me uncomfortable? ��� Not Grieving That Much Dear Grieving: Unless someone is crying on you day after day, please try to tolerate what you can, and then gently extricate yourself. Pat them on the shoulder. Get them a seat. Ask if they need a tissue. Then walk away. You don���t have to demonstrate such obvious mourning yourself. You are right that everyone grieves differently, and you are not obligated to put on a show. But it would be useful to learn how to convey sympathy to others, whether or not you believe they deserve it. Dear Annie: I was surprised to learn that people register for housewarming gifts. I thought housewarming gifts were something simple like a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine or flowers. A neighbor brought me a cutting from a cactus that has bloomed on time for more than 40 years. Maybe I���m old-fashioned, but I thought you furnished your house yourself as you were able over the years. ��� Canaan, Conn. Dear Canaan: Most guests bring gifts to a housewarming. A registry is a bit much, but there is nothing wrong with having a friend or relative make suggestions when asked. Dear Readers: We are carrying on Ann Landers��� tradition that April 2 be set aside as Reconciliation Day, a time to make the first move toward mending broken relationships. It also would be the day on which we agree to accept the olive branch extended by a former friend or estranged family member and do our best to start over. Annie���s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie���s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Lumpectomy can be effective for some with breast cancer radiation were less likely to die of breast cancer or from any other cause than women who chose mastectomy. Still, we should take these results with a small grain of salt. This was not a randomized trial, the gold standard of medical research. Women were not randomly assigned to one treatment or the other. Instead, each woman and her doctor decided on the treatment. It���s possible that women who chose mastectomy were less healthy to begin with, or at higher risk for aggressive cancer. Perhaps that���s why women who chose lumpectomy plus radiation did better. Nevertheless, previously published major randomized trials suggest that women like you will do equally well with either have a better cure rate than DEAR DOCTOR K: just a lumpectomy. I was recently diagHowever, recent results nosed with early-stage from a large study add to breast cancer. My docevidence in support of a tor wants me to considmore conservative er a lumpectomy plus approach. That would be radiation. But wouldn���t lumpectomy followed by a mastectomy be more radiation therapy. effective? The study included DEAR READER: In Dr. K more than 112,000 a lumpectomy, just the by Anthony L. cancer and tissue Komaroff, M.D. women treated for earlystage breast cancer (canimmediately around it are removed, and radiation thera- cer that has not spread beyond py is used to kill any nearby can- the breast or the underarm lymph cer cells that might not have been nodes). Fifty-five percent of removed. In a mastectomy, the these women underwent lumpecwhole breast is removed. Since tomy and radiation, while 45 perhad mastectomy. sometimes breast cancer cells cent (invisible to the eye of the sur- Researchers followed the women geon) can spread into the sur- for about nine years. The study found that women rounding breast, it���s plausible to think that a mastectomy might who chose lumpectomy plus lumpectomy and radiation or simple mastectomy. Also, bear in mind that lumpectomy plus radiation therapy isn���t the best choice for all women with early-stage breast cancer. In general, mastectomy may be better for women with large tumors, or with more than one tumor in a breast. Mastectomy may also be better for women who were at higher risk for breast cancer, such as those who have close relatives with breast cancer or know they have a ���breast cancer gene.��� If your doctor has said a lumpectomy is a reasonable choice, I���m assuming that the type of mastectomy being considered is a simple mastectomy: Just the breast would be removed, not tissues between your breast and armpit. Based on what you say, a larger operation would not usually be necessary. For a woman newly diagnosed with breast cancer, it pays to carefully think through your options. Talk with your doctor and trusted friends and family to find the treatment strategy that���s best for you. The good news is that there is now solid scientific evidence that many women with breast cancer do not require mastectomy. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. NOTICE TO TAXPAYERS HELP WANTED Wednesday, April 10, 2013 at 5:00 p.m. is the last day for paying the second installment of real estate taxes without a 10% penalty and $20.00 cost. Payment can be made at 444 Oak Street, Rm D, Red Bluff CA or by mailing to the Tehama County Tax Collector, P O Box 769, Red Bluff CA 96080. Copies of bills, tax information and credit card payment information is available online at www.co.tehama.ca.us. AUTO ROUTE DRIVER WANTED Red Bluff Area Must be 21 or older & bondable. Call or apply in person Circulation Dept. Red Bluff Daily News (530) 527-2151 ext 128 Our office hours are 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Monday through Friday. MAIL YOUR PAYMENTS EARLY! PAYMENTS MUST BE POSTMARKED ON OR BEFORE APRIL 10, 2013 All payments postmarked after 5:00 p.m. on April 10, 2013 will be charged a penalty. 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