Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/1037744
WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM OCTOBER 10-16, 2018 UCW 5 MARGARET DICKSON, Columnist. COMMENTS? Editor@ upandcomingweekly.com. 910-484-6200. Creeping toward recovery by MARGARET DICKSON e #MeToo movement has been with us for a year or so now and has taken down a hand- ful of powerful men, including movie producer Harvey Weinstein, journalists Charlie Rose and Matt Lauer and television executive Les Moonves. In the midst of all this, 81-year-old comedian Bill Cosby – once viewed as America's doctor who holds a doctorate in educa- tion – has begun serving prison time for an assault that occurred more than a decade ago, with other allegations against him still pending. Layer on top of all that the U.S. Senate Judiciary hearing involving a Supreme Court nomi- nee and a woman who accuses him of sexual assault, and it is fair to say that Americans have been swimming in uncharted waters. Never in the history of our nation have sexual harassment and sexual assault been more on our minds as we struggle with issues involving both workplace and private inter- actions between men and women. Survivors of sexual harassment and assault are swamping social media with stories of what hap- pened to them, how they reacted at the time and how it affects them today. Ditto for abuse hotlines and other support organizations, which report that victims of sexual assault and rape suffer more anguish than any victims of violent crimes. eir experiences, many of them years in the past, are be- ing dredged up by recent media attention. For many victims, these memories are a re-victimization that affects their lives long after the actual experience. Writing in e New York Times, Hayley Kirscher has some suggestions for how to deal with freshly stirred and painful memories. "Be kind to yourself," she said. Assault survivors and sufferers of PTSD often experience thoughts of shame and judgment, and for them, self-care or self-compassion can help. e idea is to promote healing, and experts suggest ask- ing yourself what you need that you can provide for yourself. It may be time with friends and family, time alone, a change of scenery or something as simple as a bubble bath. ese "gifts" to yourself will not erase memories or give closure, but they may ease suffer- ing and point the way toward healing. Another technique is to acknowledge what you are feeling. Pretending the pain is not there simply pushes it back, and it will return, often when you are least prepared. Journaling can help by putting feelings on paper in private. So can sharing those thoughts with people close to you or with a professional counselor. Don't be afraid to cry. It can be cathartic. Remember, we are all creatures of both mind and body. Our physical, mental and emotional selves are intertwined and affect each other. Rutgers neuroscientist and psychology professor Tracey Shors recommends both medita- tion and aerobic exercise. She says survivors who practice these techniques have fewer trauma- related thoughts and feel better about themselves than those who do not. Finally, Josie Torielli with the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault recommends "grounding," a technique to keep us in the moment and not dwelling on past memories. She suggests finding and naming five objects you can see in a room, four sounds you can hear, three things you can touch or feel, two things you can smell and one good quality about yourself. Laugh as much and as often as you can – it is both a physical and an emotional release. All human beings harbor and sometimes nurture pain- ful memories, few more than survivors of sexual abuse. But it is harder to dwell on them when we reach outside ourselves and toward others. Help and support are out there – both from within ourselves and from the outside. OPINION For many victims, these memories are a re-victimization that affects their lives long after the actual experience. Photo by Claudia on Unsplash one year special $ 15 for UP & CoMING WEEKLY rEadErs oNLY you save 89% off Tv GuIDe MaGaZINe Get A GreAt DeAL from tV GuiDe mAGAzine start Your subscription online, By Mail or Call online: tvguidemagazine.com/newsoffer mail: complete order form below call: 1-800-365-1940 WHeN CaLLING use PRoMo: K6fNsWPZZ Every issue delivers inside scoop on your favorite shows Breaking news keeps you in the know Highlights help guide you to what's worth watching Your favorite stars take you behind the scenes 28 Pages of easy-to-use primetime listings GrEaT rEasoNs To sTarT YoUr sUBsCrIPTIoN