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4B Daily News – Wednesday, December 19, 2012 FEATURES Ignored invitation is incredibly irksome High HDL just part become an issue. Good comDear Annie: Back in munication, especially May, our son and his wife between parents and chilinvited us to a concert at the dren, can resolve or prevent end of December to celea great many problems. brate my husband's mileDear Annie: I read your stone birthday. They said it column every day and love would be their treat, and we it, so I'd like your opinion all agreed it would be a fun on something. evening. My little brother and his Over the next few Annie's wife are expecting their first months, we got together child in April. They have often, and no mention was made of the concert. Yes- by Kathy Mitchell decided to have a ''reveal terday, I sent a text saying and Marcy Sugar party'' to let everyone know the sex of the baby. This we were excited about the concert and asked what time we means the doctor will write down should leave. Our son responded the gender of the baby and put it in with a text saying they weren't a sealed envelope. Then someone going and that we should have takes the envelope to a party supply store where they pack a box with checked with them sooner. Regardless of the reason — balloons filled with the appropriate whether illness, money, work color — pink or blue. At the party, schedule or whatever — shouldn't the expectant parents open the box, the people who extended the invita- and the balloons fly out letting tion let the guests know there is a everyone know the sex of the baby. To me, this seems like something change of plans? We are so disappointed and — Confused About the expectant parents would like to share with each other, without an Cancellation Dear Confused: Your son and audience. I am a gay male and probhis wife should not have issued the ably will never have children, so invitation unless they meant it and this really doesn't impact my life. certainly should have notified you But I am curious about what you well in advance if the plans had think. — Greensboro, N.C. Dear Greensboro: While some changed. However, it's also possible they simply forgot about it until it parents prefer to get this news priwas too late to get the tickets, in vately, in today's Facebook age, which case, mentioning how excit- many want to share it with friends ed you were about the upcoming and family as soon as possible. So a concert in, say, August might have party makes sense to them. Yes, some people will interpret this as averted this family drama. One should be diplomatic but not one more act of narcissism, but so reticent to speak that these things most expectant parents are so Mailbox thrilled to share this news that we think the motives are actually sweet. Of course, if the parents have a gender preference, it's best to get the news in private, since guests don't want to see one of the hosts burst into tears of disappointment. Otherwise, we think these events are a matter of personal choice. Go and enjoy yourself. Dear Annie: I can relate to ''Fran in Frisco,'' who moved halfway across the country to live near her husband's family. They had promised to do things with the grandchildren and spend lots of time with them. But when Fran and her husband finally moved there, the grandparents ignored them. I had the same experience with my in-laws after moving 1,200 miles from my family. Fran, do yourself a favor and move back to your hometown while there's still time for your parents to enjoy their grandchildren. We never got that chance, and now it's too late. — Still Homesick Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. PAL success story By JOHN MINTON Last time I wrote about Leslie (Slate) Pettifore, who graduated from Red Bluff High School and achieved black belt fourth degree at PAL's Martial Arts Center for Excellence. Leslie's step-brother, Benjamin Renteria, graduated from Red Bluff High school in 2003. He lets everyone know that when he discovered PAL he was nearly a straight F student. Again, the emphasis was that a student in the Martial Arts program was required to have passing grades in all subjects. Like Leslie, Ben took the bait. It wasn't luck but fate that played the role in his success. And a few helping hands. By the time he graduated he had achieved black belt fourth degree as Leslie had. Ben then left for DeVry University in Hayward. He studied and achieved good grades there for two years. I visited him twice. He had set up a martial arts program at the school. Immediately, others who had studied martial arts elsewhere wanted to learn what Ben learned from Tehama County PAL and not just about martial arts. Eventually, Ben checked out California State University at Chico and the world of Psychology. Remember his straight F grades in high school? He turned all that around and graduated from Red Bluff High School on the Honor Roll. This placed him in the National Honor Society. After completing some basic requirements at Butte College, he jumped right into it at Chico State and in 2010 he graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology. Denise and I were able to attend his graduation ceremony. He had grown up right before our eyes. Ben and Leslie had a passion for training in the Courtesy photo Pictured with Ben is his mom, Bonnie Green, at the dojo. PAL Martial Arts program. I mean, they literally put in a lot of blood, sweat and tears. Yes, blood. They'd been bumped, had bruised lips, eyes and other parts, including tweaked fingers, wrists and elbows, knees and toes, too. I can't really remember how many times they both left the dojo swearing they'd never, ever be back. More than once Ben was in tears. But neither gave up. PAL prepared the children for the path, not the path for the children. A couple times a few Red Bluff cops were able to speak with them and those officers gave them encouragement. Ben was just thirteen when he came to PAL. He recently turned 28. The last Saturday of each month he returns to volunteer in the program to train any willing student for five hours. I want to say that I know he was trained very well. It was very difficult, not too easy but well worth it. The training he now offers is not easy either. But like Ben, his students can‚t get enough of it. They respect him. He treats them fairly and with a lot of caring and respect. He is mentoring them as PAL mentored him. Any respectable art critic is able to see the true colors and attention to detail in these works of art that PAL has created. Ben is not only at the Master Instructor level (Shihan in Japanese) in Jujutsu he is also reaching toward his Master's Degree in social work now. He recently also received a promotion at work as a youth councilor at Butte County Behavioral Science Department. Ben has turned out to be a fine young man. Tehama County PAL helped him define his goals and the encouragement and drive to set a great example of how to mentor our youth. Ben now says a lot that there was one other person, a teacher at Red Bluff High School, who also really gave him much of that encouragement and drive. That's Mr. Treat. Bill has given many students a lot of time over the many years he has taught there. Several other teachers, others in the community and those PAL volunteers give a lot of time to our youth, too. Time is love. Every child needs a little bit of love and another healthy adult in their life. What other programs does Tehama County PAL provide? Check it out at www.tehamaso.org, or call Kathy at 5297950. For specific information on the martial arts and self defense program please call either Rachel at 200-1031 or Sensei John at 840-0345. Soon, I'll tell you about two young ladies who not only got a lot of mentoring from another national youth program here but have also both made their families and this community very proud. of a healthy heart the evidence DEAR DOCseemed to point in TOR K: For years that direction. my doctor has Before such been telling me drugs were about the benefits approved by the of high levels of Food and Drug HDL cholesterol. Administration, Now I read that however, the high HDL may not Dr. K agency required protect against that studies heart disease after by Anthony L. all. Is "good" cho- Komaroff, M.D. involving large numbers of people lesterol still good be conducted to prove the for you? DEAR READER: The value of the drugs. To HDL cholesterol story is a make a long and painful cautionary tale. It demon- story short, over the past strates once again that five years these drugs even the most persuasive have proved very disaptheories about what pointing. Not only have should make us healthy they not convincingly lowered the risk of heart need to be put to the test. It has been solidly trouble — in some cases, established that people they have increased the who have high levels of risk. In addition, a recent LDL (bad) cholesterol have a higher risk of Harvard study pooled developing heart disease. health information on Moreover, it has been more than 116,000 people solidly established that genetically predisposed to treatments that lower LDL produce higher-than-norcholesterol reduce the risk mal amounts of HDL. of developing heart dis- Surprisingly, this group did not show the predicted ease. It also has been solidly lower risk of heart attack. How can this study be established that people with HDL levels above 60 squared with previous milligrams per deciliter studies that have convinc(mg/dL) tend to have a ingly showed that people lower risk for heart dis- with high levels of HDL ease. Since HDL choles- have a lower risk of heart terol removes fat from the disease? The most likely plaques in arteries, that conclusion is that it is not the high HDL levels, but observation made sense. Not unreasonably, doc- rather something else tors and scientists about people who have assumed that boosting high HDL levels that proHDL with medication tects them from heart diswould lower cardiac risk ease. Many lifestyle changes even more. There are several drugs that have been raise HDL cholesterol around for 30 years — and indisputably reduce particularly gemfibrozil your risk of heart disease: and niacin — that modest- regular exercise, healthy ly raise levels of HDL. weight, avoiding trans These drugs were tested in fats, quitting smoking people with heart disease. and moderate use of alcoThey did lower the risk of hol. These lifestyle new heart problems, but it changes may not work wasn't clear if they through their effects on achieved that benefit by your HDL level, but they lowering HDL cholesterol surely and powerfully do or through some other work. effect. Dr. Komaroff is a Then several different types of drugs were devel- physician and professor Harvard Medical oped that could dramati- at School. To send cally raise HDL levels. go to Most doctors, myself questions, or included, bet that such AskDoctorK.com, drugs would probably write: Ask Doctor K, 10 reduce the risk of heart Shattuck St., Second disease. Why? Because all Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Why I Love Corning Essay Contest Tehama County residents are invited to participate in the Why I Love Corning, an Olive City Essay Contest. In 300 words, contestants can share why they love living, working or visiting California's Olive City. First prize will receive $200, second $100 and third will receive $50. Deadline for entries will be Jan. 11. First, second and third place winners will be published in "Corning 2013", the annual community resource guide and information directory published Jan. 31. The digital version will be published online for a full year with links to the interactive edition posted on the Corning Chamber of Commerce, City of Corning and Tehama County websites. To enter e-mail the entry to tehama.up@gmail.com or mail it to I Love Corning, Care of The Daily News, P.O. box 220, Red Bluff, 96080. Entries must be original work and must be accompanied by the name of author, address, telephone number and, if available, e-mail address. DAILY NEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMA COUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U NTY S I N C E 1 8 8 5