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4B Daily News – Saturday, December 15, 2012 FEATURES Readers speak out on affair justification Avoid using tobacco why should he have to live Dear Annie: I read the that way, too? The kicker is letter from ''Your Husthat I am also married, and I band,'' who wrote an open love my husband. I wonder letter to his wife explaining whether ''Your Husband'' how her unwillingness to really has no emotional have sex justified his affair. attachment to the other He was obviously pouring woman, because I know I his heart out. I am a 54am attached to mine. year-old woman on hormone replacement. My Annie's Worse, I am not so turned on by my husband because I husband and I enjoy a have such a strong physical wonderful sex life, but as I with my get older, I am less and less by Kathy Mitchell connection interested. I love him and and Marcy Sugar boyfriend. Pennsylvania: I'll bet want to make him happy, so once a week I force myself to his wife cooks, cleans and takes have sex. If you love someone, you care of those children, so he'd be an idiot to walk away. Not once try to understand their needs. But I respect hard honesty. If he does he indicate that they have had told his wife how he felt before tried counseling or a doctor's help. his affair, they might have reached Instead, he took the selfish way out a mutual agreement. Now, it's a and slept with another woman. betrayal of the marriage. He made And just to be clear, a basic need a decision for both of them without would be food, water, shelter, consulting her. How would he feel clothing. No one has ever died for if she did that? — Emotional in lack of sex. Chicago: This letter shocked California Dear Emotional: We were me, and then I became enraged. drowning in mail from readers Dear Husband: I'll tell you why responding to this man's message, we don't have sex anymore. I am nearly all of it from women. Read exhausted after working a full day and then coming home and taking on: From Illinois: This husband is care of the kids. I see you watchan immature, selfish, spineless ing TV and wonder how you don't jerk. How can he claim he loves his notice the dirty dishes, screaming wife and then commit adultery? As kids and toys on the floor. I resent long as she fulfills his need for sex, you for choosing your friends and she is perfect, but when the sex other interests over me. I notice stops, all those other things don't how you look at other women but count. He should have the decency can't find the same gleam in your to tell her that his need for sex out- eye for me. You pay no attention to me until we get into the bedweighs his love for her. New York: I am the Other room, and then you expect me to Woman. If his wife has no libido, fulfill your desires. I can't have Mailbox sex with someone who treats me so poorly. Florida: I don't have libido issues. I am simply turned off. You have gained 80 pounds, perspire profusely and have bad breath. If you would spend less time playing with your girlfriend and work on your appeal, this would be different. I do love you, so figure out which woman will be around to feed you and change your Depends when you have a stroke. Boston: Love does not sneak around, betray or hurt others. That's why marriage can be hard. Others with the same issue choose to honor their vows of fidelity, talk openly with their spouse and seek help from professionals. Arizona: Sex creates a bond. I think this man has a big surprise coming if he ever tries to break it off with the other woman. California: I was this wife. At age 38, I began ignoring his advances. Looking back, I think I was unhappy with myself. I finally found my libido, and our sex life has been amazing since. But when I first approached him again, he turned me down. Now I know how much rejection hurts, especially from someone you love. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Stocks edged lower on Wall Street; Best Buy drops NEW YORK (AP) — Apple, the most valuable company in the U.S., slumped Friday, dragging on the stock market. A lack of progress in federal budget talks also discouraged investors. Apple's stock fell $20 to $510. The launch of the iPhone 5 in Beijing failed to draw the long lines of customers that showed up for previous versions of the iPhone, according to news reports. Analysts at UBS cut their earnings estimates and price target for Apple. The Standard & Poor's 500 index fell three points to 1,416 while the techheavy Nasdaq composite fell 17 points to 2,975. Apple is the biggest stock in both indexes. The Dow, which doesn't include Apple, gave up just seven points to 13,163. President Barack Obama and House Speaker Wall Street John Boehner met Thursday to discuss a budget deal to avoid the ''fiscal cliff,'' a collection of higher taxes and government spending cuts scheduled to start Jan. 1. There were no signs of progress, and Boehner returned home to Ohio on Friday. Investors remain confident the two sides will reach a deal soon, said Todd Morgan, a founder of Bel Air Investment Advisors in Los Angeles. But the more time it takes, the more anxious they get. ''People want to move ahead and get past this,'' Morgan said. ''The uncertainty around it is what's making people nervous.'' The Labor Department said a steep fall in gas prices pushed down a measure of consumer prices last month. The consumer price index edged down 0.3 percent in November from October. Gas prices sank 7.4 percent, the biggest drop in nearly four years. Consumer prices have risen 1.8 percent over the past year. The report helped nudge up prices for U.S. government debt, pushing yields down. The yield on the 10-year Treasury note slipped to 1.71 percent, down from 1.73 percent late Thursday. When inflation is weak, it suggests that interest rates are unlikely to jump, and bond prices unlikely to drop, anytime soon. Asian markets rose after HSBC said manufacturing in China is picking up. Its index for manufacturing December rose to 50.9, a slight increase from the previous month. Anything above 50 is a sign of growth. Among other companies in the news: — Adobe jumped 6 percent after the maker of Photoshop editing software and other applications reported results that beat analysts' expectations. More subscribers for its online Creative Cloud online service helped drive revenue and earnings up. Adobe's stock gained $2 to $37.53. — Best Buy sank 14 percent, losing $2 to $12.16. The struggling electronics retailer and one of its founders, Richard Schulze, agreed to give Schulze more time to assemble a bid for the company. That erased most of the gains made Thursday when Best Buy's stock jumped 16 percent following a report that said Schulze would make a bid by the end of the week. in any form keep the darn DEAR DOCthing lighted. TOR K: Is smokeSmoking one pipe less tobacco safer of tobacco typicalthan cigarettes? ly took me a couWhat about other ple of matchnon-cigarette books. tobacco products? Because you DEAR READdidn't inhale as ER: It's tempting to think so, but Dr. K deeply as with cigarettes, people there is no safe by Anthony L. pipe way to use tobac- Komaroff, M.D. thought smoking was safer co. Any level of tobacco, in any form, than the ravages of cigaincreases your risk of rettes. In fact, it's like heart attack, stroke, cigar smoking: maybe a emphysema, chronic little safer than cigarettes bronchitis, pneumonia, (except for mouth and lung cancer and other can- throat cancer), but much riskier than not smoking. cers. — Water pipe (hookah) Don't fool yourself into thinking that any tobacco smoking is widely perceived to be less harmful products are safe to use. — Chewing tobacco. and less addictive than Tobacco can cause cancer smoking cigarettes or and other health problems other forms of tobacco. In even when it is chewed fact, my colleagues here rather than inhaled. It may at Harvard who study be somewhat safer than tobacco use say that regular tobacco, but it's hookahs are becoming still dangerous for your more popular among health. Chewing tobacco young tobacco users. But increases the risk of can- they are as addictive as cer of the cheek and gums cigarettes — and perhaps even more harmful. When by about 50 times. — Snuff. The same people smoke a water goes for snuff, finely pipe, they often smoke for ground tobacco that's long periods of time. Each either inhaled or tucked session can last half an hour or more. This long next to the gum. — Cigars. Since cigar duration means more smokers usually smoke exposure to nicotine and less often than cigarette other toxins. — Electronic cigasmokers, they may think their habit is a safe one. rettes, or e-cigarettes, are That's a mistake. Cigar battery-powered devices tobacco contains more that were developed to nitrate than cigarette gradually get people off tobacco. The smoke it cigarettes. They vaporize produces contains more a solution of nicotine distoxins of various types solved in water and propy(particularly nitrosamines lene glycol, a fluid that and carbon monoxide) helps nicotine dissolve. that raise cancer and heart While they're often advertised as free of cancerrisks. It's true that cigar causing substances, the smokers don't inhale as Food and Drug Adminisdeeply as cigarette smok- tration is not convinced. ers, and probably have a Ads claim they help peolower risk of lung cancer. ple stop smoking, but But they are at consider- there is no evidence yet to ably higher risk for all back this up. In short, there is no safe tobacco-related diseases form of tobacco. than non-smokers. — Pipes. When I was Dr. Komaroff is a young, I was a pipe smoker for a few months. I physician and professor Harvard Medical thought it added to my at To send self-image as a contem- School. go to plative intellectual. I prob- questions, or ably would have been a AskDoctorK.com, pipe smoker for more than write: Ask Doctor K, 10 a few months if I could Shattuck St., Second have figured out how to Floor, Boston, MA 02115. 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