Up & Coming Weekly

Fosters: Australian For Lame Date Night (Rated PG-13) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS Sometimes you buy a nice bag of crispy salt and vinegar potato chips. You open them up have a few, and then forget about the bag. Over time, the chips get stale and soggy. Eventually you remember the bag is there and try to enjoy some delicious chips only to find that the flavor is off and the delightful snack is a gross vinegary mess. Date Night (88 min- utes) is a lot like that bag of chips. The shtick that works on television isn’t good enough to carry a movie, and between them, the two leads have made exactly one watchable movie. Phil and Claire Foster (Steve Carell and Tina Fey) live in a luxuri- ous New Jersey estate. They are thin, attractive, wealthy and have several adorable children. None of this makes living in New Jersey bearable, and de- spite frequent date nights their mar- riage is routine and without passion. During their really femme reading club they learn that their best couple friends Brad and Haley (Mark Ruffalo and Kristen Wiig) are considering a major change to their marriage, which sends the Fosters into panic mode. I begin rolling my eyes at the predictability of this conventional, no surprises here, done to death plot. The stars of the snoozefest that turns otherwise engaging actors into robotic facsimiles of themselves trick their way into a trendy Manhattan restaurant by Be a ! SINGERS• ACTORS• DANCERS OPEN AUDITIONS Children 5 to 12 Years Old  6-8 p.m. Snyder Memorial Baptist Church 701 Westmont Drive Kidsville Kids have fun singing & dancing their way across the region while developing their talents and gaining valuable experience in the performing arts. They encourage and inspire literacy, good character traits and high values in young people.  www.kidsvillenews.com/cumberland 28 UCW APRIL 28-MAY 4, 2010               3006 Bragg Blvd. Fayetteville, NC 910.323.1791 ALL TEAM SPORTS          Mention this ad and receive 20% OFF* your next team purchase. *Restrictions apply. “TWO are better than ONE”  5613 Rockfish Road Hope Mills, NC 910.609.1791 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM calling themselves the Tripplehorns. The alias is used as the centerpiece of a recurring “joke.” Halfway through the meal they are snagged by some thugs, including Armstrong. Armstrong is played by Jimmi Simpson, one of the awe- somely awesome guys from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I wish I was watching an episode of that instead of sitting through this. Or The Office or 30 Rock. Gosh, these actors, who are otherwise funny people, need to stop making bad movies. They continue to stink up the screen with their half-hearted attempts to bring the humor. Eventually the audience discovers that a mobster boss (Ray Liotta, who is now officially a parody of himself) is after something the Tripplehorns have and he is under the impression that the Fosters are the Tripplehorns. In my head, I begin listing all the ways this is a stupid plot device. After some back and forth our heroes decide to find the real Tripplehorns, and obviously the best way to do that is seeking out an expert in international security in the middle of the night. Holbrooke Grant (Mark Wahlberg), who has clearly chosen his career in order to escape the taunts of schoolyard bullies who mocked his name, sucks up some shirtless screen time and helps advance the plot. James Franco and Mila Kunis, who I assume are paying back a favor, ap- pear in minor cameos. After their scene goes on and on forever, the Fosters con- tinue with their adventure. Marky Mark is shirtless several more times and the plot quickly devolves into a farcical mess involving a strip club, a helicopter, an Amazon Kindle and a whole lot of me being bored. Overall, the movie just wasn’t that great. There were some after credit clips featuring alternate lines, but not even the promise of extra content could keep me in my seat once the credit started rolling. Too bad, since Fey and Carell are pretty funny on television. HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing Writer COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com A House Not So Divided

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