Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/96259
Friday, November 30, 2012 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Wife keeps letting son in bed Dear Annie: My wife and I have a wonderful 3-year-old son. We have a great home and make good money, but life stinks. For the past year, my wife has Annie's insisted on allowing our son to sleep in our bed. by Kathy Mitchell And in case you're and Marcy Sugar about to ask, the answer is yes, we have not been able to do the one thing that married people normally do in bed. When my wife puts our son in his own bed, she unbuttons her shirt and lets him nurse until he falls asleep. Without fail, he wakes up before midnight and walks into our room. If I tell him to go back to his room, he starts crying, and my wife then permits him to crawl into our bed. I went to a therapist on my own. His advice was to tell my wife, ''You can sleep in our son's bed if you want it that way.'' Guess what. She did. He's the clingiest kid I ever saw, and his mom seems to need him a lot more than he needs her. I feel like I'm competing for her attention. Any advice? — N.Y. Dear N.Y.: Your wife is using her son as an excuse to avoid intimacy. This does a disservice not only to your marriage, but to your child. He is learning that if he cries, Mailbox he will get whatever he wants, and that he is winning the competition for Mom's affections. And yes, she has made it more of a competition than it needs to be. Please don't blame your son for being ''clingy,'' and try not to focus on your sexual frustration. Instead, try to get your wife to understand that her behavior is unfair to the boy. Urge her to discuss this with her doctor, your child's pediatrician or a counselor. Dear Annie: I've been friends with ''Sue'' and ''Mary'' for years. Last year, I asked Sue to drive me to a cosmetic medical procedure in another state. She agreed and also wanted the procedure. She asked me to include Mary, which meant planning the trip around Mary's work schedule. We set tentative dates, and I made motel reservations and arranged clinic availability. Mary kept changing her mind about coming and finally admitted that she didn't want the procedure. When she cancelled again, Sue moved up our departure time. Mary then reconsidered and wanted to come after all. I told her the departure time had been moved up, and she said she'd drive herself and meet us there. Two days later, Mary sent me a letter saying she wasn't coming and lambasted me because I ''didn't know what it was to be a friend.'' I thought we'd talk it out, but that was a year ago, and we have yet to speak. I don't feel I owe Mary an apolo- gy. Sometimes I think she was looking for an excuse to squeeze me out of her friendship with Sue. It seems immature for a middle-aged woman to behave in such a fashion. Any suggestions? — Three's a Crowd Dear Crowd: You don't owe her an apology, although it might help to say you are sorry that things became so complicated and difficult, and you regret that the friendship suffered as a result. And you could ask Sue to help. But frankly, after all this time, we have to assume Mary isn't interested in renewing your bond. Dear Annie: ''Confused in N.C.'' asked who should pay for birthday and anniversary dinners at a restaurant. Here's my solution: When inviting people to a restaurant, I make it clear that I will pay for appetizers, wine and dessert. Guests are welcome to come whenever, and some only come for dessert, which is fine. That way, those on a budget can participate, and I don't break the bank. Often, guests will buy a bottle of wine for the table as a birthday present. — Can't Always Entertain at Home Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Lohan charged with NYC assault and Calif. crash NEW YORK (AP) — Actress Lindsay Lohan was arrested Thursday in New York City after police said she hit a woman during an argument, then hours later was charged in California with lying to police and reckless driving for a June crash in which her Porsche slammed into a dump truck. The ''Mean Girls'' and ''Freaky Friday'' star was arrested at 4 a.m. and charged with third-degree assault. She left a police precinct nearly four hours later with a black jacket pulled over her head. Lohan was wearing leggings, a green mini dress and highheels. She drove off in a black SUV with a driver, a woman and another man who was seen going in and out of the precinct. Lohan, 26, allegedly got into the spat with another woman at Club Avenue, in Manhattan's Chelsea section. She struck the woman in the face with her hand, police said. The woman did not require medical attention. Lohan's attorney, Shawn Holley, did not immediately return messages seeking comment. The charges come just after Lohan's portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime movie ''Liz & Dick'' premiered to harsh reviews from critics and the public. After the June crash, the actress told police her assistant was driving, but detectives determined Lohan was behind the wheel, police said. Prosecutors charged her with three misdemeanors: providing false information to police, reckless driving and willfully obstructing a police officer from their duties. No date for Lohan's arraignment was announced, but the charges are likely to trigger a probation violation for a 2011 necklace theft case. Lohan's newest arrest is her latest brush with law enforcement in New York City. She was involved in a New York Police Department investigation in September after alleging a man had assaulted her in a New York hotel, but charges against the man were later dropped. Also in September, the actress was accused of clipping a man with her car outside another Manhattan nightclub, but prosecutors chose not to move ahead with charges. In October, police were called to her childhood home on Long Island after a report of a fight between her and her mother. An investigation revealed ''no criminality.'' The Los Angeles case comes nearly six months after the actress crashed while on her way to a movie set. She was taken to the hospital but returned to the set of the film ''Liz and Dick'' hours later. Lohan has become more of a tabloid and courthouse mainstay in recent years than an actress, and her crash while on the way to the set of ''Liz and Dick'' demonstrated the risk of casting her in films. A week after the accident, paramedics were summoned to Lohan's hotel room in an episode her publicist attributed to exhaustion and dehydration, and shooting on the film was again briefly delayed. In May, she was cleared of allegations that she struck a Hollywood nightclub manager with her car. She recently filmed ''The Canyons,'' an indie film written by ''Less Than Zero'' and ''American Psycho'' author Bret Easton Ellis. Weight loss is best defense for fatty liver disease also start a casDEAR DOCTOR K: cade of serious My doctor says I have damage to the fatty liver disease, but I liver. And fatty rarely drink. So how is liver disease this possible? may add to the DEAR READER: I already high can understand your risk of heart dissurprise, since it used to ease if you are be that fatty liver disease was usually caused by Dr. K obese or have diabetes. abusing alcohol. Howby Anthony L. Now that ever, it has also been true Komaroff, M.D. you've been that obesity and diabetes could cause fatty liver. Per- diagnosed, what can you do? haps you have one of these The best treatment is weight conditions. In the past 30 loss, ideally from changes in years, as obesity and dia- diet and an increase in physbetes have become more ical activity. Weight loss has common, so has fatty liver a very direct effect: As people lose weight, the fatty disease. Scientists aren't sure how liver becomes less fatty. There's been some the disease begins. They suspect the condition gets start- research into using diabetes ed because of insulin resis- drugs, vitamin E and fish oil tance (itself a consequence to treat fatty liver disease and of obesity). When people are NASH. But there's not insulin-resistant, their mus- enough evidence yet to reccle, fat and liver cells don't ommend them. Research on fatty liver respond normally to insulin. So levels of the hormone — disease is intense. Many difand the blood sugar it ushers ferent hormones that the into cells — build up in the body naturally makes are blood. This increases the risk being linked to it. All of us of developing diabetes and carry trillions of bacteria in our intestines, but there is heart disease. In people with insulin some evidence that the type resistance, there is an of bacteria in our gut may increase in the amount of fat influence whether we get molecules circulating in the fatty liver disease. I regard all blood. In addition, liver cells of this as interesting but are more likely to take fat speculative; we still don't molecules out of the blood really understand what causand store the fat inside them. es the condition. However, we do know When these liver cells start to store fat, they can begin to this: (1) if you are overcause inflammation in the weight or obese, losing liver. Immune system cells weight will help reduce the enter the liver, and some- fatty liver; (2) if you have times scars start to form. diabetes, treatments for it This condition is called (particularly those that act to NASH. Between 5 percent reduce insulin resistance) to 10 percent of people with also often help. fatty liver disease develop Dr. Komaroff is a NASH. physician and professor NASH is often a Harvard Medical relatively stable, low-grade at To send condition that people live School. go to with for years, with few if questions, any symptoms. But it can AskDoctorK.com. 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