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Wednesday, November 28, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES am a woman who follows a strict diet. It has noth- ing to do with weight or any medical condi- tion. I don't care about calories. It's about eating organic, and there are a lot of things I do not tolerate, such as corn syrup, food coloring, table sugar, unfiltered water, etc. If I do not approve of a treat someone has made, is it appropriate to politely decline to accept it? On occasions where I'm given some- thing I don't have to eat in front of them, I gra- ciously accept it and then give it away later. What if I'm on a date and the guy wants to take me where I would- n't ordinarily eat? Should I insist on stick- ing to my diet? Dear Annie: I splurges here and there, but how do I avoid con- stantly eating junk with- out being rude or weird? I live in a rural area, so there are not many restaurant choices. — Upstate Dieter Dear Dieter: If someone offers you food that you prefer not to eat, don't feel obligated to stick it in your mouth. Say ''thank you'' and put it aside, or if you are feeling expansive, explain that you have difficulty tolerating cer- tain foods. I can handle a few When out on a date, you will need to be flex- ible if your choices are limited. Most restau- rants have options that, while not ideal, are tol- erable on occasion — Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar plain baked chicken or fish, for example. On subsequent dates, when you know each other better, let the guy know that you only eat organic. Then offer to cook him dinner. been both divorced and widowed. She would love to find someone to spend time with, and we want her to be happy. The problem is, Mom Dear Annie: My mom is in her 60s and has behaving like an adoles- cent girl. behavior as best you can. It isn't intended to hurt you. Mom's self- worth is tied to having a man in her life, and without one, she doesn't feel she has value. Try to accept this Dear Annie: I read the letter from ''Just Wondering,'' daughter-in-law has an overly close relationship with her 20-year-old son. whose has devoted herself to this ''man search'' to the point that nothing else is important. When she meets a man, she becomes totally absorbed in him. When we ask her to do things with her grandchildren, she replies, ''I don't know. I might get a bet- ter offer.'' When we invite her to the kids' events, she says, ''I'm not sure. I am hoping someone will ask me out.'' Now we don't call as much because it hurts to know we're second best to any guy she just met. Mom is often lonely because she waits by the phone for ''him'' instead of doing things with other people. We wish she would also remember to make time for the family who loves her and the friends who want to spend time with her. Instead, she neglects us for any man who pops into her life. What can we do? — Never the Better Offer Dear Never: There's not much you can do if your mother insists on My son was 4 years old when his father and I divorced. A few years later, his dad left his life for good. My son has struggled throughout his years with social anxiety and many other mental issues, and we have been to counseling. He is also abnormally close to me and doesn't like to leave my side. teenager, people com- ment that it is not nor- mal and he should be out with his friends. It is very easy for people to judge without knowing what it's like to have a child who struggles with life. I do agree with your answer, though, that the family needs ongoing counseling. — SFIP Now that he is a Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast. net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. DEAR DOCTOR K: I'm confused. Is fluoride harmful or not? your fight against tooth decay. As far as I have been able to deter- mine, the rumors that abound linking fluoride to a broad range of ills — from heart disease to allergies to genetic abnormalities — have no sci- entific backing. As with many things, fluoride can be lethal if you ingest excessive amounts. However, an adult would have to consume 5,000 to 10,000 glasses of fluoridated water in one sit- ting to reach dangerous levels. Cer- tainly, young children could develop toxicity from fluoride if they swallow large numbers of improperly stored fluoride tablets, or ingest large amounts of a fluoridated toothpaste or mouth rinse. But there are lots of things around the home that can make children sick if they are not placed out of reach. DEAR READER: I know there are people who think flu- oride in drinking water, tooth- paste or mouthwash is harmful, so I'm likely to get some mail about this column. But my job is to tell you what the scientific evidence shows. Fluoride is a powerful ally in A minor drawback to using fluoride is the risk of fluorosis, a condition that discolors tooth enamel. Fluorosis appears in permanent teeth when a child ingests too much fluoride while these teeth are forming in the gums. The risk of fluorosis disappears once the permanent teeth are fully devel- oped. allergic to fluoride, but this is unusu- al. As with any allergy, the allergic effects go away when you stop taking the thing you're allergic to. Those people with allergies to fluoride need to be more careful about brushing and It also is true that some people are 3B Organic diet can be awkward Myths about fluoride are not facts Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. This new enamel is actually harder and more decay-resistant than the original tooth surface. Fluoride makes it harder for plaque to stick to your teeth. It also makes it more difficult for bacteria to turn sugar into acid. People of all ages can reduce their risk for tooth decay by regularly exposing their teeth to fluoride. Fluoride in the saliva enhances the body's ability to rebuild tooth enamel when acid-producing bacteria cause it to decay. One of the simplest ways to get flu- oride is from drinking water. You can also use toothpaste that contains fluo- ride. For most people, these two sources of fluoride are sufficient to keep decay in check. flossing, since their teeth are more vulnerable to cavities and gum disease if they can't take fluoride. Some communities don't have fluo- ridated water. Bottled water contains little or no fluoride, and fluoride is also removed from the water in some home water-treatment systems. In these cases, your dentist may suggest getting fluoride from other sources. You can get additional fluoride via mouth rinses, oral supplements, or treatments such as fluoride gels and varnishes applied by your dentist. The bottom line: Don't be con- cerned about fluoride. In fact, the widespread fluoridation of drinking water is often cited as one of the 10 great public health accomplishments of the 20th century. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School.To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115.