Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/92039
How to help my helpless son? Dear Annie: My husband, ''Paul,'' nothing to do with my 36-year-old son, ''Alan.'' wants admit that Alan lived with us too long and has done some terrible things, but he's my son and I love him. I've enabled him because of his health problems. He has diabetes, epilepsy and vision problems and, in the past year, has lost 80 pounds. A few weeks ago, Alan threatened suicide and had a knife in his hand. Paul didn't know what to do and called the police to have Alan arrested. We found out later that he was doing drugs, so Paul kicked him out and issued a restraining order keep- ing his stepson away from the house. Alan was gone for sev- eral weeks, living with various friends. Despite the restraining order, he came over yesterday morning. He hadn't eaten in days. His friends have abandoned him, and he is homeless. Paul said he "needs to learn,'' but I was worried sick and was so glad to see him. But when Paul saw him eat- ing at the kitchen table, he threatened to move out. I Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I thought I had found a home for Alan at the local mission, but discov- tionally. I'm not crazy about it, either, but I don't know how to get Alan the help he needs. What can I do? — Heart- broken Mother Dear Mother: This must be terribly painful for you, but there are lim- its to how much you can help a child who is on drugs and refuses to help himself. Contact Nar- Anon (nar-anon.org) at 1- 800-477-6291 and ask for assistance. You also could call or visit the local mission and see whether they will give you a referral to another facility that might take Alan in. received an invitation to my second cousin's high school graduation. The same day, I received an invitation to her sister's wedding with a note say- ing she also had just graduated from college. Mind you, I had not heard from this side of the fam- ily in years. (My husband recently died, and I Dear Annie: In June, I Strutting wild game birds walk nature's runway With shorter days and a chilly nip in the air, we know fall has arrived and winter is not too far off. As the season changes, so do the habits of wildlife. Bears stock up on calories for winter hibernation, birds migrate to warmer climates and wild turkeys seem to come out in droves. While these wild game birds may seem harmless and approachable, they can cause problems. Many homeowners can't resist feeding them. What starts out as innocent fun can become a nuisance if the birds start destroying flower and vegetable gar- dens, leaving their drop- pings on patios and decks or roosting on cars where they may scratch the paint. This time of year, Department of Fish and Game (DFG) typically sees an increase in com- plaints about nuisance wild turkeys. DFG recom- mends the following: • Never feed wild turkeys. • If turkeys are causing problems in your yard, remove all sources of food such as bird feeders and/or pet food, and con- sider motion-detecting sprinklers to discourage visits. turkeys typically will not enter yards with dogs. • If confronted by a wild turkey behaving aggressively, slowly back away. Turkeys often strut and gobble at people, but very rarely actually come into contact with them. • If you find an injured • Know that wild turkey, report it to your nearest DFG regional office. • Depredation permits can be issued if wild turkeys are causing exces- sive property damage. For more information on wild turkeys, visit: www.dfg.ca.gov/keep- mewild/turkey.html. Weighing up to 20 pounds, the wild turkey is native to North America. These majestic birds were once a primary food source for Native Ameri- cans and early settlers. In the early 1900s, defor- estation and market hunt- ing brought turkeys to the brink of extinction. But through better wildlife management and improved forestry prac- tices, the wild turkey is a true success story, with an estimated population of 7 million in the wild today. Males, called toms or gobblers, have long red- dish-yellow to grayish- green legs and a black body. When excited, his head turns blue; when ready to fight, it turns red. Toms fan their tails, strut and gobble with a beard that protrudes from their chest. Each foot has four toes as well as a spur up its leg. ered he was blackballed because of some incident years ago. Now he's on the street with no medicine, friends or money. But, Annie, he's my son. No one should live like this. Paul refuses to let him come back, even condi- received no condo- lences.) I sent a respectable amount of money to the younger sister and a love- ly Catholic Bible to the bride and groom (a Catholic friend suggested this). I was quite thrilled to do this for them. But here I sit, months later, with no thank-you note, not even a preprinted acknowledgment. If the bride and groom are too busy, even a note from my cousin would dimin- ish my disappointment. What do you think of this? — B.W. in Florida Dear Florida: We think this is quite rude. You can, of course, call your cousin and ask whether the gifts were received. A lost item is always a possibility. And if you don't attend these events or know these peo- ple well, you do not have to send anything more than a card with your best wishes. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ''Bring Back Wedding Etiquette'' about the couple who requested donations for their honeymoon. I was aghast, to put it mildly. Had I received that invita- tion, I think I would have made a donation to a national food bank in their name and sent a note saying, ''A couples massage might last an hour. This donation in your name will feed a family for several days.'' — Omaha SACRAMENTO – Cal- trans, in partnership with Amtrak and Operation Life- saver, announced an interac- tive educational application on Facebook. "The Mysteri- ous Adventure" encourages high school students to "Be Track Smart" near railroad tracks. FEATURES FROM UNIVERSAL UCLICK may have a drug problem. But how can I tell if I'm truly addict- ed? DEAR DOCTOR K: I think I not divided neatly into those who are "addicts" and those who are not. More and more, doctors are viewing substance use as a spec- trum. DEAR READER: The world is Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Imagine that spectrum as a straight, horizontal line. At the left end are people who have do not use poten- tially addicting substances. Just in from the left end is a group that uses a poten- tially addicting substance regularly but only in small amounts — and never feels pressure to use that substance. At the extreme right end are people who need to use a potentially addicting substance every day, and do. They do whatever it takes to get that substance. They are addicted to it, and they: — need ever-increasing amounts of the drug in order to get high. — experience unpleasant physical and emotional symptoms when the drug is leaving the body. — use more of a drug or use it for a longer period of time than intended. — are unable to stop using the drug, having repeated, failed attempts to stop or cut down. Tuesday, November 6, 2012 – Daily News 5A 'Almost addicted' drug dependence is possible middle. They're to the right of those who regularly use addicting substances with- out a problem. And they're to the left of those with substance abuse. For the almost addicted, substance use: — falls outside normal behavior, but is short of meeting the criteria for addic- tion or abuse. vard Medical School think there is yet another group: the "almost addicted." On the spec- trum, this group lies right in the — causes problems for the person using drugs or for loved ones or other bystanders. — has the potential to progress to a diagnosis of drug abuse or drug depen- dence ... but even if it doesn't, it can still cause substantial problems. stances when doing so may be physically dangerous. — They have recurrent legal problems as a result of sub- stance use. — They just can't stop using the substance despite the prob- lems it is causing them. Colleagues of mine at Har- — spend a lot of time obtaining, thinking about or using the drug. Just in from the right end are those with substance abuse. This is milder than addiction; it describes those who have experienced significant impairment or distress because of their need to use a potentially addicting substance. One or more of the following is also true: — They are failing to fulfill major obligations at home, school or work. — They have repeatedly used sub- have a list of 20 questions to help you determine if you or a loved one might be almost addicted. It comes from a new book, "Almost Addicted: Is My (or My Loved One's) Drug Use a Problem?" by Harvard Medical School's Dr. J. Wesley Boyd and Eric Metcalf, MPH. If you think you may have a problem, At my website (AskDoctorK.com), I try to begin the journey away from drug use. One place to start is with your doc- tor. He or she can help you find the resources you need to help you quit. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School.To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Students learn about rail safety through Facebook saver. This unique campaign educates students about rail safety to reduce the number of rail-related incidents and fatalities in California. They can create an adventure for themselves and share the game with their Facebook friends. Earlier this year, the Fish and Game Commis- sion (FGC) expanded wild turkey hunting from 16 to 30 days, marking the fall season from Nov. 10 - Dec. 9, 2012. In addition, the FGC also increased the season limit from one to two turkeys. Hunters may take one turkey (either-sex) per day and two per person. More information on additional hunt dates can be found www.dfg.ca.gov/regula- tions/upland-summary- 12-13.html. at priority, and it is critical that students, particularly new drivers, grasp the signifi- cance of rail safety when approaching railroad cross- ings," said Caltrans Director Malcolm Dougherty. Students at high schools located near railroad tracks are being targeted with posters in schools, appear- ing through August 2013. As an added incentive, "The Mysterious Adventure" rail safety experience culmi- nates in a monthly drawing where students may enter for a chance to win four Amtrak California tickets, courtesy of Amtrak. "Safety is Caltrans' top rail fatalities occur annually in California, according to California Operation Life- Some 90 unnecessary JOIN THE NEW GENERATION OF GOOD LISTENERS Wednesday Every November 7, 14, 21 & 28 Pine Street Plaza 332 Pine Street, Suite G Red Bluff, CA Stacy L. Garcia Hearing Aid Dispenser Lic. #7440 (800) 843-4271 • THE GOLD EXCHANGE • LUIGI'S PIZZA • RED BLUFF AUTO DISMANTLING • OLIVE CITY QUICK LUBE • WALMART • ADOBE ROAD CHEVRON • CORNING AUTO CENTER • DM TECH HIGH SPEED INTERNET • GARCIA CONSTRUCTION • INTER-CITY BODY & PAINT • NORTH MAIN AUTOMOTIVE • RANCHO GRANDE RESTAURANT • SCHOOL HOUSE MARKET • TEHAMA CO. DEPT. OF ED. • FIDELITY NATIONAL TITLE CO. • JOHN WHEELER LOGGING, INC. • TRIPLE R GAS • LASSEN TAX PROFESSIONALS • RED BLUFF VISION CENTER • DUDLEY'S EXCAVATING, INC. • CALIFORNIA WALNUT CO., INC. • HINKLE ROOFING & CONST. • RED BLUFF HEALTH CARE • TEHAMA ESTATES • BRETNEY SUTTERFIELD • EDWARD JONES, CORNING • ETZLER FINANCIAL & INSURANCE • LEPAGE COMPANY, INC. • OLIVE CITY TAX PROFESSIONALS • PLACER TITLE COMPANY • AIRPORT AUTO REPAIR • KAY STEPHENS, MD • GREENWASTE OF TEHAMA • LOUISIANA PACIFIC CORP. • TEHAMA COUNTY ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS • STEVE'S BACKHOE SERVICE • GONZALES JUMPERS PARTY RENTALS • HUHN ELECTRIC • TEHAMA AUTO CENTER • JANETTE VOTAW ACUPUNCTURE Please help sponsor a classroom subscription Call Kathy at (530) 527-2151 to find out how. "Since 1972, our lifesav- ing rail safety message has promoted obeying laws and staying away from railroad tracks, which are private property," said California Operation Lifesaver Execu- tive Director Pete Aadland. "California Operation Life- saver is thrilled to work with Caltrans utilizing new media approaches to reach a defined segment of our tar- get market." High School students are encouraged to participate by visiting the Amtrak Califor- nia Facebook page at www.facebook.com/Amtra kCalifornia or at www.the- mysteriousadventure.com. To learn more about Cal- trans' "Be Track Smart" Rail Safety campaign or for "The Mysterious Adven- ture" terms and conditions, visit www.amtrakcalifor- nia.com/themysteriousad- venture. Through the Newspapers in Education program, area classrooms receive the Red Bluff Daily News every day thanks to the generosity of these local businesses & individuals. THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING NEWSPAPERS DAILYNEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY E VOICE OF TEHA M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5