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Wednesday, October 24, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES Mother believes she let her daughter down out of work for two years. My family has suffered greatly, and my daughter's mild depression turned severe when this started affecting her life. Recently, my in-laws were kind enough to let the three of us move in so we could save what little we have. But the summer could not have gone worse. My mother-in-law has turned into a bully. She doesn't approve of how I raise my daughter and has been taking it out on the child. Mom calls her hurtful names and has told her that all of our finan- cial problems are her fault. My hus- band has spoken to his mother numerous times, and I have, as well. But she is stubborn. Dear Annie: I've been Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar out on my daughter. — Mother in Mud Dear Mother: You made the right choice to get your daughter out of the home of your bullying, stubborn mother-in-law. While we would have recommended that your husband put his foot down a little harder, apparently neither of you could set boundaries that stick. Until this situation is resolved, it may not be pos- sible to forgive the woman for her unconscionable behavior. Please find a way to get out of there as soon as possible. Dear Annie: I've been with My daughter has a history of self-harm and low self-esteem, so we began to work on alternate liv- ing situations. Sadly, I know the best place for my daughter right now is not with her stepfather and me. I've been the one to support her and be there her whole life. Now she's living with her biological father, and it breaks my heart. He's a good dad, but I feel like I let her down. I write today because I am hav- ing a hard time forgiving my moth- er-in-law. I understand that our con- flicting parenting styles can be hard on her in her house. What I can't understand is why she's taking it ''Hank'' for what seems like a hun- dred years. He is an alcoholic and a drug user. Last year, in an effort to save our marriage, he was in and out of several rehabs. None worked. Here's the real problem. While in rehab, he relapsed and was kicked out, along with several others. I refused to pick him up, so all of them stayed in a hotel room togeth- er. While there, Hank used one of the other addicts (a female) to get drugs and alcohol. He promised her that they were going to be together. Hank is a great father to our chil- dren, but I cannot find it in my heart to let this go. He claims there was no affair, but I don't believe it. It is weighing heavily on my heart. How can I forgive him? — Lost Dear Lost: Addicts say and do whatever they have to in order to score what they need. Your prob- lems are bigger than whether or not Hank slept with another woman. He may love his children, but he is a terrible role model. Until he gets clean and sober, he is no good to any of you. Please contact Al-Anon (al-anon.alateen.org) and Nar-Anon (nar-anon.org) and ask for help. Dear Annie: I had to respond to ''Not a Meanie,'' whose sister misin- terprets everything she says. I could have written that. My sister hears only what she wants to hear. When making plans for anything, large or small, ''Ellen'' would hear some- thing entirely different from what I said. She would then complain to our middle sister, and it could take weeks to fix the misunderstanding. My solution was to email all plans to Ellen and copy our other sister. Then there was a written record and no chance of my looking like the bad guy. ''Meanie'' should try this. It will save her a lot of frus- tration. — Been There in Hamden, Conn. Dear Hamden: This is a great idea — as long as you communicate only in writing. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Over the river and through the woods By Jennifer Cooper Social Security district man- ager in Redding Kids are back in school, and in the breezy after- noons, you can find them raking leaves, or jumping in them. It's that time of year. Soon, on the way to Thanksgiving dinner, chil- dren may be singing in the back seats of cars: Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go … Did you know that the original song had children in a horse-drawn sleigh on their way to Grandfather's house? A lot has changed since those days. Take the Inter- net, for example. A genera- tion ago, no one would have considered mapping out directions on the web, or ordering a package online, delivered directly to the des- tination. No one would have imagined doing business with Social Security with a computer. curity.gov/estimator. This Thanksgiving Day, after you've enjoyed your feast and exhausted conver- sation, why not show Grandma and Grandpa how easily they can use www.socialsecurity.gov to avoid unneeded trips to a Social Security office. For starters, you can take them to the online Retire- ment Estimator, a tool that helps them figure out how much they may get in monthly benefits depending on when they retire. It's available at www.socialse- The following defen- dants were sentenced in Tehama County Superior Court, according to the Tehama County District Attorney's Office: —————— Recent State Prison Commitments • Lloyd H. Marshall vandalism hot new service everyone is talking about: the new online Social Security Statement. It provides a record of past earnings, along with projected earn- ings for future years to give an estimate of future Social Security benefits. It's avail- able at www.socialsecuri- ty.gov/mystatement. You also can show them our library of online publi- cations containing all the information they need to know about an array of Social Security, retirement, and Medicare subjects. You can see our publications at www.socialsecurity.gov/pu bs. If they were thinking about retirement, you may want to show them just how Or tell them about the knowledgeable you are by suggesting they read the publication, When To Start Receiving Retirement Ben- efits, at www.socialsecuri- ty.gov/pubs/10147.html. And if they're ready to retire, take them to www.socialsecurity.gov/ap plyonline, where they can apply online for retirement benefits in as little as 15 minutes — that may be less time than it takes to brew a pot of coffee and slice a pumpkin pie. Once they click the "submit" button, they're done. (So are you.) As you're preparing to go over the river, through the woods, or across town to visit family this Thanksgiv- ing Day, consider inviting www.socialsecurity.gov to the gathering. COURT ROUND-UP grand theft. a business to gain access to a vehicle that was parked inside. Greene exited the business by dri- ving the vehicle through a glass rollup door before driving away. Greene had broken into was sentenced to nine years in state prison for assault with a deadly weapon special allega- tion-prior strike and spe- cial allegation-prior felony. Deputies responded to a residence in regards to two victims who had been cut with a knife. During the course of the investi- gation deputies learned the Marshall had cut vic- tim-1 on the arm to test the sharpness of his knife. Marshall then swung the knife at victim-2 causing a laceration to his arm. • Jacob John Roleder was sentenced to four years in state prison for corporal injury to cohabi- tant. was sentenced to two years in state prison for possession of a controlled substance. High was originally granted formal probation. He violated his probation when he was found in possession of a controlled substance and failed to enroll in a drug treat- ment program. • Brandon James High Roleder was originally granted formal probation. He violated his probation when he tested positive for methamphetamine. • David Brantley Greene was sentenced to three years and eight months in state prison for November 3, 2012 Rolling Hills Casino, Luncheon & Boutique Saturday, Cattle Women's Fashion Show, Corning Reservations by October 26th Tickets $ 529-9679 to 28.00 field Jr., was sentenced to two years in state prison for possession of a con- trolled substance; failure to appear while on bail. Maxfield was original- ly granted formal proba- tion. He violated his pro- bation when he failed to appear for scheduled appointments with proba- tion. Maxfield was released from custody on bail and failed to appear in court as ordered. Recent County Jail Commitments • Tyler Stuart Ray Leer • Charles Dale Max- was sentenced to 121 days in Tehama County Jail for Downtown Red Bluff Business Association & Many Business Community Co-Sponsors bring to you Appreciation Breakfast Veteran's 8am to Noon Nov. 11th Veteran's Memorial Hall Oak & Jackson St. in RB Plus a Peppy Patriotic Program with live entertainment Complementary to Veterans, Non-Veteran tickets $5.00 each Tickets are available at the Gold Exchange, Sugar Shack Café, Tremont Café, Crystal Art & Apparel, and at the door. Call 528-8000 for more information Leer entered victim's apartment and stole a lap- top and a television. Offi- cers located Leer a short time later in possession of the stolen items. Upcoming Court Dates -Trials, Prelimi- nary Hearings(PX) & Pre Trial Confer- ences(PTC) • Gary Dean Belcher will appear in court at 9 a.m. on Oct. 22 in Dept. 2. He is facing the charges of second degree robbery with special allegation- personal use of a firearm, second degree robbery with special allegation- personal use of a firearm, attempted second degree robbery with special alle- gation-personal use of a firearm. Belcher entered Bank of America in Corning and demanded money from the teller at gun- point. The teller filled Belcher's bag with the money she had in her drawer. Belcher fled the scene before officers arrived. During the course of this investiga- tion officers learned Belcher was also respon- sible for the pervious rob- beries that occurred at the Subway restaurant in Corning and the attempt- ed robbery at the Chevron gas station near Rolling Hills Casino. TOR K: I get terri- ble sinus headaches during allergy season. Antihistamines help, but not com- pletely. What else can I try? DEAR DOC- 5B Sinus headaches are common in allergy season DEAR READ- ER: I see many patients during allergy season complaining of sinus headache pain. It occurs most often in the center of the face, the bridge of the nose and the cheeks. And it's sometimes accompa- nied by nasal congestion and clear or opaque nasal discharge. filled spaces in the bones of your head. They lie above, between and beneath your eyes, flank- ing your nose. Both the nose and sinuses are lined with a thin membrane that swells and produces mucus in response to irri- tation. Normally, the mucus from the sinuses drains through small openings called ostia. Ostia connect the sinuses to the nasal passages. (There's an illustration on my website, AskDoc- torK.com.) Allergies or other con- ditions that cause the nose or sinus membranes to become swollen can nar- row or completely block the ostia, resulting in a sinus headache. Treat an allergy- induced sinus headache with a combination of over-the-counter medica- tions. First, as you've already been doing, take an antihistamine. This will block the action of hista- mine, a substance released during an allergic reac- tion. Histamine causes swelling of the lining of the sinuses and ostia and stimulates mucus produc- tion. The sinuses are air- (Mucinex is especially effective), which thins the mucus so that it drains more easily. Another Then take guaifenesin Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. option is a decon- gestant. This will reduce swelling and open up the nasal and sinus passages. Such medications, or a steam bath, will usually do the trick. might have developed a bacterial infection of the sinuses. Bacteria live throughout our nose and sinuses. Normally they get drained out of the sinuses with the sinus mucus. But if a sinus is plugged up, the bacteria can start to multiply inside the sinus. To treat a sinus infec- tion, you'll need an antibi- otic and a decongestant, but no antihistamine. (Antihistamines dry out the mucus membranes and make drainage more diffi- cult.) If a decongestant does not offer sufficient relief, ask your doctor about a steroid nasal spray. Several of my patients with chronic sinus prob- lems have asked me a sim- ple question: "Why do we need sinuses, anyway? All they seem to do is cause trouble." Just as with our appendix, about which we can ask the same question, the answer is we don't know. There is a theory that sinuses in the skull add resonance to the sounds that more primi- tive animals make when they are mating or trying to scare off enemies. We just inherited them from the animals that preceded us on Earth. They certain- ly don't help us mate or scare off enemies. At least, I don't think so! Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. mas Parade is "Christmas on the Range." This popular annual kick-off event for the Christmas Season will be at 5:30 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 24. The Red Bluff-Tehama County Chamber of Commerce Parade forms still available The theme for this year's Downtown Red Bluff Christ- expects many entries again this year. In addition to two cash awards of $100 and $50, plaques will be awarded for first and second place in seven categories. For more information, visit www.redbluffchamber.com to download entry form or complete application and pay- ment online or call the chamber at 527-6220 Ext. 301. Entry forms are available at the chamber office at the entrance to River Park and after hours in the Outdoor Information Center. Completed forms, descriptions and $20 entry fee are due by Friday, Nov.16 to Red Bluff Chamber of Com- merce, PO Box 850, Red Bluff Ca 96080. low or green sinus discharge, you If you have yel-