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FEATURES Dear Annie: I recently married ''Kevin,'' who has been divorced for four years. We decided to live in his house. I knew we'd have adjustment issues, but even so, things don't seem to be working out. I'm wondering whether this marriage is a mistake. Any suggestions? — Frus- trated I'm just so upset, and The house is in his name only, although I pay toward utilities, upkeep, etc. But everything has to be his way. Kevin likes the place to be ''neat,'' which doesn't mean cleaning. It means shoving stuff into a cup- board so no one sees it. Also, all of the furniture is from his first marriage. I want to update a few things, and he won't let me. He says his stuff is in good shape. Everything reminds me of his ex and his previous life. I told Kevin I'd like to have a few things that we selected ourselves. He told me the divorce drained him, and he wants to pay the house off before buying anything new. So I offered to purchase things with my own money. He said no. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar When I moved in, he wanted my belongings thrown away, yet he has drawers of junk from 10 years ago. After five months of marriage, I figured my things would be out of storage. Instead, Kevin says we have everything we need and my stuff is ''dupli- cate.'' But some of my posses- sions are in better shape than his, and I'd at least like the option of going through them with him and seeing what is worth keeping. Spaghetti, Meatballs & Garlic Toast (served w/ choice of soup or salad) Shredded Beef Taco w/ Rice & Beans Tuesday Special: $8.95 Monday Special: $10.49 Corn Beef & Cabbage (served w/ choice of potato & veggies, soup or salad) Thursday Special: $10.49 Wednesday Special: $9.99 (stuffed w/ bell peppers, onion, mushrooms and cheese, topped w/ gravy) (served w/ choice of potato & veggies, soup or salad) Stuffed Burger Steak Best Homemade Pies in Town • Ice Cream Orders to go 731 Main St., 530.529.4012 open 7 days 5:30am-9pm Kevin that you are deeply unhap- py with the current situation, and ask him to come with you for some short-term counseling to work on combining your lives in a more positive way. Dear Annie: I am tired of vul- gar language, especially at work. Whenever my department head becomes frustrated, he thinks it's OK to use whatever words he wants. So if he's upset, he thinks it's fine to upset others by using offensive language. He knows I don't care for it and has tried to tone it down. But not much has changed. I'm a quiet guy and keep to myself. I don't like conflict. So I have done nothing even though it both- ers me and puts me in a bad mood when I hear such language. Any suggestions? — North Carolina Dear North: You must speak up if you expect anything to change. You could talk to the department head, saying that you would appreciate it if he would control his use of unprofessional language a bit more during work- Kevin doesn't seem ready to commit to a full part- nership. The two of you should be able to discuss all issues instead of one of you making unilateral decisions. But this doesn't have to be an insurmount- able problem. Explain to Downtown Red Bluff Business Association & Many Business Community Co-Sponsors bring to you Appreciation Breakfast Veteran's 8am to Noon Nov. 11th Veteran's Memorial Hall Oak & Jackson St. in RB Plus a Peppy Patriotic Program with live entertainment Complementary to Veterans, Non-Veteran tickets $5.00 each Tickets are available at the Gold Exchange, Sugar Shack Café, Tremont Café, Crystal Art & Apparel, and at the door. Call 528-8000 for more information Professional Nail Services Hurry Discount ends 10/31/12 492 Antelope Blvd. 20% off walk-ins welcome with this ad 530•527•2786 Mon.-Sat. 9am-7pm Dear Frustrated: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 – Daily News 5A New bride finding home life one-sided ing hours. He has already made a small effort, so your words will not go unheeded. You also could enlist other co-workers to speak to him, or you could go over his head and complain to a supervisor. But if asserting yourself is not possible, we can only suggest that you indicate disapproval at the time, hoping he will eventual- ly learn to modify his behavior. You also could leave the room, wear headphones or ignore him. Sorry. Increased risk of osteoporosis in med Dear Annie: I understand the problem of ''Pastor's Wife in the Midwest.'' I am a church organist and have been stiffed by the wed- ding couple, as well. Playing for a wedding involves practice time, attending the rehearsal and addi- tional hours on the day of the wedding. We also must purchase the music and deal with soloists. I play in a small country church and know most of these people personally, so I don't feel comfortable demanding a certain amount. But pastors, soloists and organists are part of the wedding expenses and should be compen- sated for these important occa- sions that cannot take place with- out them. — Here Comes the Bride and $$$ Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Harvest of Hearts 5th Annual Benefit Dinner Homes of Hope for Victims in Domestic Violence Sat. Nov. 10th Guest Speaker: Jennifer Scarborough Music: Stacy Stone RB Community Center tickets 347-1330 or 527-7449 Silent Auction 6pm Dinner 6:30 also available at The Loft TOR K: Do men need to worry about osteoporosis? Doesn't it affect mostly women? DEAR READ- ER: Osteoporosis is a disease that weak- ens bones and makes them more susceptible to breaks. You're cor- rect that women are more likely than men to develop osteoporosis, but that does- n't mean men don't have to worry about it. In fact, about 2 million men in the United States have osteoporosis. There are two main rea- sons men are less vulnera- ble than women to bone loss. First, men start out with bigger bones and greater bone density. Sec- ond, certain hormones that affect bone density decline more gradually in men than in women. DEAR DOC- develop osteoporosis, it's often because of treatment with certain drugs or an underlying condition. This is called secondary osteo- porosis. When men under age 75 Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. duce both estrogen and testosterone. Levels of both of these hormones decline as men age, and this can cause bone loss. — Heavy alcohol use. list of medical con- ditions and medica- tions that increase the risk of sec- ondary osteoporo- sis on my website, AskDoctorK.com. Other risk fac- tors that are partic- ularly relevant to men include: — Low sex hor- mones. Men pro- Heavy drinking can damage bone health by reducing bone mass. — Smoking. Many years of smoking encourage the thinning of bones. — Inactivity. Our bones respond to being challenged by becoming denser and stronger. The bones of the legs, hips and spine are strengthened by weight- bearing activities, and by exercises like walking or running. Medications: Glucocor- ticoid use is one of the most common causes of sec- ondary osteoporosis. Glu- cocorticoids are steroids used to reduce inflamma- tion caused by asthma, arthritis and a variety of other conditions. Anticon- vulsants (medicines used to control seizures) and certain cancer treatments also increase risk. Medical conditions: Dis- orders that can damage bone health include Type 1 diabetes, epilepsy, hyper- thyroidism, multiple sclero- sis and many others. I've put a more complete — Gastrectomy. This operation, in which part or all of the stomach is removed, can reduce the amount of calcium the body absorbs. That, in turn, caus- es some thinning of the bones. Heredity also plays a role. Clearly some men (like some women) are more vulnerable to getting osteoporosis, but we don't understand all of the genet- ics involved. Also, com- pared to people of African background, people of Cau- casian or Asian ethnicity are at higher risk. sis Foundation recommends bone mineral density testing for men starting at age 70. The National Osteoporo-