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FEATURES Dear Annie: Your col- umn is the first page I turn to in the newspaper. I now have a problem and hope you can help. My boyfriend, ''John,'' and I have been together for five years. We have a wonderful relationship. He loves my three young chil- dren, and they adore him. John also has a grown daughter, ''Sarah,'' whom he raised as a single father. Sarah is now 27 and has two young children from two dif- ferent fathers. Her kids are slightly younger than mine. Sarah is resentful and jealous of the relationship John has with my children. The only time John hears from her is when she needs help, and we have given it, emotionally and financially. We even took her in for a few months and cared for the children. Her relationships are always in turmoil. Every time Sarah contacts John, she upsets him. I listen to him vent and try to stay out of their relation- ship. But it hurts me to see him in pain over and over. Sarah recently mentioned that she was diagnosed with bipolar disease, but we have no idea what type of treatment (if any) she is receiving. What is the best way to handle Sarah? How do I keep my boyfriend from being hurt every time she calls? — Concerned Girl- friend prevent John from being hurt by his daughter's words or actions. Allow- Dear Concerned: You cannot Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar ing him to vent gives him a release valve for his pain, which is probably the most helpful thing you can do right now. Sarah needs to grow up, and that takes longer for some people than for others. You also can reassure John that he's a great guy, and that Sarah is simply having a hard time adjusting to his current situation. Her behavior is a way of seeking his undivided attention. You could suggest he encourage Sarah to talk to her doctor about medica- tion and therapy. Beyond that, try to make your presence in his life an oasis of peace. Dear Annie: My boyfriend of Friday, October 19, 2012 – Daily News 5A Feel for boyfriend with troubled daughter You are ultimately responsible for understanding the costs involved. Consider it an expensive lesson in learning to double-check the facts. Dear Annie: Your advice to ''In the Middle'' was dead on. Her hus- band will never nag or shame their daughter into losing weight. I speak from experience. My late father (an underweight picky eater) nagged, harangued and shamed me about my weight for most of my life. Not only did it reinforce my feelings of worthlessness, but it also made me angry and motivated me to eat in secret for comfort. two years assured me that my new smart-phone plan would allow me to use all of the same services I get at home while I am traveling. So on a recent trip, I used it as I normally would. ''Middle's'' daughter has to con- trol her own life, regardless of whether Dad agrees with her choic- es or not. I wonder why Dad has so much trouble having an overweight child. Is he really concerned for her, or is he embarrassed by her? Or maybe he is simply prejudiced against overweight women, like many people. faced with a bill for more than $200. He admits he misread the phone's website information, but feels no obligation to pay even half of my bill. I think it would be the honorable thing to do, especially since he makes three times what I do. What do you think? — Disap- pointed Upon returning home, I was would be honorable for him to offer to pay a portion of your bill since you used it on his advice, and you can ask him. It doesn't speak well for his character that he would hang you out to dry. But it's your phone. Dear Disappointed: Yes, it I'm now 53 and still overweight. I'm trying to eat more healthfully, but it's a tremendous struggle to ignore a lifetime of negativity from Dad. The less Mom supports him or argues with him the better. — Been There, Done That Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Hundreds of con- sumers throughout the United States, including several from Northern California, allege they were the victims of unau- thorized charges against their checking accounts by supposed payday loan companies, Better Busi- ness Bureau warns. Most complainants told BBB that after the companies withdrew $30 from their accounts, they were told by the compa- nies the charges were for loan application fees. Consumers tell BBB, however, that they never formally applied for a payday loan. "I submitted inquiries online about payday loans, but never applied," said a local woman. "After inquiring, I received 75 to 100 offers for loans, but I had Payday loans leave consumers overdrawn Better Business Bureau already found a way to get the money I needed, so I ignored them. Then they took $30 from me." More than 300 people filed complaints have Teens driving teens a deadly mix Flight safety training against Capital Advance Capitol, Ideal Advance, LoanTree Advances, Pacific Advances, Palm Loan Advances, Vantage Funding and Your Loan Funding. All of the busi- nesses list the same Las Vegas address. Several of the websites for the com- panies are nearly identi- cal, listing the same testi- monials on each site. Most of the companies currently have an "F" rat- ing with BBB for failing to respond to some com- plaints. In a few cases, the company did respond to the complaints by offering a $1,000 gas voucher or a refund. "After they offered the "In an age when every- one is so used to sharing information online, you can't lose site of the dan- gers of providing your information through the internet," said Gary Almond, president of BBB serving northeast California. "If a form asks for personal information like bank account num- bers or social security numbers, you may want to do a little more research on who you are dealing with before com- pleting the form. You can never be too cautious • Find contact informa- tion for the company and verify they have a physi- cal location. • Be wary of paying upfront fees for loans. any agreements, policies or terms and conditions you can find on the web- site. • Read and understand With motor vehicle crashes ranking as the leading cause of death for teens, AAA North- ern California is urging parents to be more involved with their teen drivers and calling for stronger graduated dri- ver's licensing pro- grams. from 13 percent to 17 percent and 18 percent with zero, two and three or more teen passen- gers, respectively. According to a study by the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, risky driving behavior among 16 and 17-year-old teens involved in fatal crashes increased when teen passengers were present. vers with teen passen- gers can have dangerous consequences," said AAA Northern Califor- nia spokesperson Cyn- thia Harris. "AAA urges parents to set and con- sistently enforce family rules that limit newly licensed teens from dri- ving with young passen- gers." "Mixing young dri- The new research, released as part of Teen Driver Safety Week (Oct. 14-20), shows that the prevalence of risky behavior generally grew for 16 and 17-year-old drivers as the number of teen passengers increased. Among 16 and 17-year-old drivers involved in fatal crash- es: • The prevalence of speeding increased from 30 percent to 44 percent and 48 percent with zero, two and three or more teen passengers, respectively. • The prevalence of late-night driving (11 p.m. to 5 a.m.) increased from 17 percent to 22 percent and 28 percent with zero, two and three or more teen passen- gers, respectively. • The prevalence of alcohol use increased AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, data analysis on fatal crashes that occurred nation- wide from 2005 and 2010 shows that 9,578 drivers age 16 and 17 were involved in fatal crashes, and that 3,994 of these crashes includ- ed at least one teen pas- senger. This study also shows how risk of death in a traffic crash for 16 and 17-year-old drivers increases by 44 percent when carrying one pas- senger younger than 21, doubles with two, and quadruples with three or more younger passen- gers, compared to dri- ving alone. Teen drivers face a number of safety chal- lenges including: • Teenage drivers are According to the involved in more crash- es per mile than drivers of any other age group. • Drivers aged 16 and 17 are involved in about seven times as many crashes per mile driven compared to drivers in their forties, fifties, or sixties. • Teenage drivers are overrepresented in crashes that result in the death of other people, such as passengers, pedestrians, or occu- pants of other vehicles. AAA recommends that all states adopt and enforce a comprehen- sive three-stage graduat- ed licensing system for beginning drivers-- learner's permit, inter- mediate/probationary license, full/unrestricted license. These programs should limit driving at night, and driving with young passengers, among other provisions designed to help novice drivers gain skills and experience associated with responsible dri- ving. LEGAL NOTICE Fall Color Pumpkins & Gourds Available Now! George's Specialty DORMANT SPRAY CLASS Saturday, October 27th at 11am Learn all about Dormant Spraying *Free-Please call to reserve your seat. REMINDER S.O.F.T. Fruit Tree Orders due Nov.1st (See Website for more info.) 8026 Airport Road, Redding I-5 North, Exit #673, Rt on Knighton, Rt on Airport Located 1 mile south of the Airport (Next to Kents Mkt) Open Mon-Sat 8-5 & Sunday's 10-4 wyntourgardens.com WYNTOUR GARDENS 365-2256 Facebook voucher, I never got it," said a California man. "I don't even want a gas voucher. I just want my money back." Several other con- sumers also allege they never received the refund or gas voucher the compa- ny offered. when doing business online." offers the following advice to avoid losing money to an online pay- day loan company: • Research a company before disclosing any per- sonal information. Do they have a BBB Business Review? Search for the company through a search engine. • Be very wary of pro- viding bank account num- bers through online forms. Health diet increases chance for pregnancy TOR K: My hus- band and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few months without success. Could changing my diet help? DEAR DOC- ER: Yes, diet could be a factor. With one surpris- ing exception, foods that are healthy for most peo- ple also seem to improve fertility. You and your husband are not alone. It's estimat- ed that about 6 million couples in the United States are having trouble conceiving. For one thing, couples are delaying hav- ing kids until they are older and their own lives are more secure. However, older age reduces some- what the chance of a preg- nancy. Obesity and dia- betes, both of which are epidemics, also decrease fertility at any age. DEAR READ- improve both your health and your fertility, whether or not you're experiencing fertility problems. Boost- ing your health before pregnancy will make it easier for you to conceive, reduce pregnancy compli- cations and improve your baby's health. The following recom- mendations can help increase your chances of conceiving: A healthy diet can Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. found in many baked goods, crackers and cook- ies. Replace trans fats with mono- and polyun- saturated fats (such as olive or canola oils). Avo- cados and nut butters are another source of healthy fats. kind of fat, saturated fat, is unhealthy for most peo- ple. I generally recom- mend that most people avoid whole milk and whole-fat dairy products. However, for women seeking to get pregnant, research studies from Harvard have shown that women who drink one serving of whole milk a day have an easier time getting pregnant than those who do not drink milk or who choose low- fat dairy foods. Just don't overdo it. Whole milk has almost double the calories of skim milk. — Skip the skim. One — Include high-quality carbohydrates in your daily diet. Good carbohy- drates are less processed and don't cause a sudden spike in your blood sugar. They include whole grains, beans and legumes, and fruits and vegetables. They are bet- ter for fertility than refined carbohydrates such as white bread, pasta or rice, soda, fruit juice and candy. Good carbohy- drates also have more fiber, vitamins, minerals and protein than their refined counterparts. — Pick plant proteins. Replace many animal pro- teins (particularly red meat) with plant proteins. Aim for at least half of You need extra folic acid and iron to conceive. Folic acid is also essential to prevent birth defects of the brain and spinal cord in the baby. Choose a pre- natal vitamin that contains non-heme iron (from plant sources), which appears to help fertility more than heme iron. I've posted two recipes on my website (AskDoc- torK.com) that fit the fer- tility diet recommended by expert nutritionists here at Harvard. — Take a multivitamin. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. — Choose fer- tility-friendly fats. Avoid unhealthy trans fats. These fats include hydrogenated oils your protein to come from nuts and nut butters, beans and le gumes, edamame, tofu and eggs. Taking good care of your airplane: Required mainte- nance, maintenance you can do as an owner-operator and owner assisted annuals will be the topic of a semi- nar 10 a.m. to noon Saturday, Oct. 27 at the Red Bluff Municipal Airport. Topics covered include what you need to know as a pilot-owner to be able to meet the airworthiness stan- dards to keep your airplane legal. Also, an update on the FAA Wings Program and how it applies to your required 24-month flight review. Presenters will include Certified Airframe and Pow- erplant Mechanic Gary Walker and Certified Flight Instructor and FAA Safety Team Representative Irwin Fust. www.faasafety.gov. For more information, call Fust at 378-1801 or send an email to ifust@digitalpath.net. This seminar qualifies for Wings credit. Register at