Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/8805
Wednesday, April 7, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES 2 years of promises, but hasn’t left wife Dear Annie: I am at a crossroads and need your advice. For the past two years, I have been dating an older married man who works at my office. I start- ed seeing him after my hus- band and I split up. Our time together is lim- ited. He comes over to my house once or twice during the workweek and spends some time with me every other weekend when my kids are with their father. We are in contact by cell phone, and I text him throughout the day and evening. We are never together in public unless it is out of town. My problem is, he has told me he will leave his wife, but he hasn’t yet. When I don’t see him on a night he is supposed to come over, I get angry. He later apologizes, and I forgive him. This has gotten to be our regular routine. I feel like I have wasted these Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar my ex-brother-in-law, ‘‘Joe,’’ like my own kin. I am a carpenter’s apprentice with excellent skills. Joe, along with sever- al family members, called and asked for my help with some repairs on his home so that he could receive family and friends after his second wife died last year. I agreed, for a fee, but didn’t specify the price. I told him I’d leave that up to him. The repairs were past two years, but for some reason I keep coming back for more. Should I give up? — P.H. Dear P.H.: Wake up, honey. He’s not planning to leave his wife for you. He has a sweet deal on the side, and you put up with it. Yes, you have wasted two years. Please don’t waste any more. He will make all kinds of promises when you tell him you are leaving, but gather your strength and don’t believe a word. We don’t want you writing us in another five years, asking the same question. Dean Annie: I respect and love extensive. I fixed two roofs and the interior ceiling, replaced shingles, patched many holes throughout the house, put up window coverings and painted most of the interior. Knowing that this is my liveli- hood and I am currently out of work, I expected to hear from Joe when I finished. I gave him a two- month grace period before I men- tioned the money. He responded as if I were being disrespectful of the dead. He yelled at me and hung up the phone. Now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do I sue him for the repairs or let it go? — Sick and Tired in Connecticut Dear Connecticut: Would you rather have the money or the rela- tionship? You are not going to get both. We’ll assume your ex-broth- er-in-law is still grieving the loss of his wife and was not thinking clear- ly. Since you never specified a price, he apparently thought you had done those repairs out of the kindness of your heart. We hope he will eventually agree to give you something for your hard work, but the only way to maintain the friend- ship is to chalk this one up to expe- rience. Dear Annie: Your advice to ‘‘Out-of-Space Mom,’’ whose grown daughter lives in another country but left her stuff at Mom’s house, was on target, but it needs one more step. Mom should tell her daughter that she will pay for six months of storage, and that at the end of that time, she will call Good- will to come pick it up. Simply dis- continuing the payments will result in nothing but hassle for Mom, in whose name the stuff will be stored and who will have to keep paying or suffer through collection efforts by the storage unit owner. Personally, I’d make this a one- step process for Mom by packing up the stuff and telling the daughter that on moving day it is going out the door, unless the daughter has made arrangements, in HER name, to store it or ship it. — N.C. Lawyer Dear Lawyer: Your solution is much more definitive. Thank you for cleaning up after us. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. New veterans center offers transition services A new facility, the Cen- ter for Veteran Education and Transition Services, is now open in Siskiyou 103 at California State Univer- sity, Chico. The center provides a safe place where student veterans can find impor- tant information about vet- eran issues and benefits, connect with veteran-spe- cific community agencies and services, receive and provide peer support and mentoring and enjoy the camaraderie of the veteran culture in a relaxed atmos- phere on campus. This new service is in addition to the Office of Veterans’ Affairs, located in Student Services Center 220, which has been oper- ating on campus for more than 40 years as part of the Student Records Office. This office administers educational benefits in the form of six federal pro- grams and one state pro- gram to more than 300 stu- dent veterans and 300 stu- dents who are dependents of veterans. “In addition to other services, the center is a place for veterans to come and study or just talk to others,” said Larry Lang- well, coordinator of Veter- ans Affairs. “Vets use it for surfing the Internet, listen- ing to music or participat- ing in intellectual conver- sations with other student veterans.” These centers are open- ing on campuses across the nation, said Langwell, and are considered essen- tial to the success of the student veterans who are returning to rebuild their civilian lives. “Student veterans need to transition into a college environment that is very different from the military structure” Langwell said. “The Chico State Student Veteran Organization pro- posed the need for this Patient wants remedy for GERD DEAR DR. GOTT: Is there any home reme- dy for GERD? I am on Zegerid, watch what I eat, have the head of my bed elevated, and still can’t get rid of the mid- sternal indiges- tion. I have had a Dr. Peter Gott thorough medical workup. DEAR READER: Gastroesophageal reflux disease is acid reflux that occurs regularly. The ring of muscles that separates the stomach from the esophagus is either weak or fails to close properly. Symptoms present when the backwash of stomach acid enters the esophagus and, as you are likely aware, can include difficulty swal- lowing, chest pain, a burning sensation, pain, dry cough, bad breath and more. Treatment is one of progression. Over-the- counter medications such as Prilosec, Taga- met or Pepcid AC might be considered; when ineffective, they may be followed by prescription medication. space and the university administration was able to oblige.” A veteran and a Chico State alum, Langwell said that he works through the campus Veteran Education Support Team to build a meaningful network of services that supports the success of student veter- ans. The new facility is open Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. An official opening will be scheduled soon. For more information, contact Langwell at 898- 5911 or e-mail him at LLangwell@csuchico.edu. Olympic gold medalist to speak today at CSU Chico Mills is the subject of the CHICO — Billy Mills, Olympic Gold Medalist and best-selling author, will speak at 2 p.m. today in the Perform- ing Arts Center on the Califor- nia State University, Chico campus. Mills, the second Native American ever to win an Olympic medal, won the 10,000-meter run at the 1964 Tokyo Olympics. Mills was inducted into the United States Track and Field Hall of Fame in 1976 and the 2 Corning Calif. Largest Selection In Tri-County • Herbal Medicines • Edibles (Foods) • Clones 1317 Solano St. (530) 824-4811 www.tehamaherbalcollective.vpweb.com U.S. Olympic Hall of Fame in 1984. 1984 film “Running Brave,” starring Robby Benson. Mills also serves as the spokesperson for Running Strong for American Indian Youth, which is an organiza- tion that helps support projects that benefit the American Indi- an people, especially the youth. In 1990 he wrote Wokini: A Lakota Journey to Happiness and Self-Understanding with Nicholas Sparks. His Lessons of a Lakota was published in 2005. Mills’ visit to Chico is being sponsored by MESA, MEP (MESA Engineering Pro- gram), Chico Student Support Center and the Office of Diver- sity. His visit is free and open to the public. For more information, call Paul Villegas, director of MESA at 898-4017. PAID POLITICAL ADVERTISEMENT Best BBQ Around Cooked Fresh Daily B.B.Q. FAST FRIENDLY SERVICE Weekdays ‘till 6pm Saturday ‘till 3pm 22825 Antelope Blvd. 528-0799 Mon.-Fri. 10:30 to 5:30 Sat. 11-3 40 Crafters in 1 Shop! Or Rent a Space to Sell Your Crafts 650 Main St., Red Bluff (530) 528-2723 Boutique Come & Shop Crafter’s ✓ ❏Re-Elect GREGG COHEN TEHAMA COUNTY DISTRICT ATTORNEY Then might come X- ray testing, such as a barium swallow or upper endoscopy, which should reveal whether your symptoms are from GERD or caused by something else. If your GERD is severe and caused by a hiatal hernia, surgical repair may be recom- mended. Hiatal hernias can develop from sud- den physical exertion, straining during evacua- tion, vomiting or cough- ing. Other than the modi- fications you have already tried, I might suggest weight loss and discontinuing smoking if you are overweight or smoke, eating several smaller meals through- out the day, wearing loose-fitting clothing, and allowing adequate time for proper diges- tion by not lying down for about three hours after eating. Home remedies abound and include eat- ing an apple or part of one, drinking diluted apple-cider vinegar, eat- ing lemons or almonds, or sipping small amounts of chilled fat- free milk or water every one to two hours. No one thing works for everyone, but a trial might be appropriate if you are willing to go out on a limb. I’m even told differ- ent apples help for dif- ferent people. Zegerid is a combination of omeprazole and sodium bicarbon- ate for your stomach acid. You might con- sider returning to your physician to request an alter- native medica- tion that could provide better results, or request a referral to a gastroen- terologist for a second opinion and other possi- ble options. To provide related information, I am send- ing you a copy of my Health Report “Hiatal Hernia, Acid Reflux and Indigestion.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.co m. DEAR DR. GOTT: I’m having RSD with lots of pain. Do you know any doctors who work with this problem? DEAR READER: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD), today more commonly known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, is thought to be a chronic pain dysfunction of the central or peripheral nervous system. No single cause is known; rather, multiple causes appear to pro- duce similar symptoms. Triggers can include infection, injury, heart disease, degenerative arthritis of the neck, stroke, thyroid disor- ders, shingles, specific medications and more. There is no specific blood or diagnostic test for confirmation. Treatment consists of physical therapy, exer- cise, medication, spinal- cord stimulation and more. Trials of Botox are even being considered for pain control. I suggest you join a local support group or contact the RSDSA at P.O. Box 502, Milford, CT 06460; (877) 662- 7727; info@RSDS.org. Dr. Peter Gott is a retired physician and the author of the book “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet,” available at most chain and independent bookstores, and the recently published “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook.” Bud’s