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2B – Daily News – Tuesday, April 6, 2010 FEATURES Fiance acts like he’s married to his mom Dear Annie: After four years, I finally got engaged to ‘‘Thomas.’’ I love him with all my heart. Thomas is 50 years old. Until last year, he lived with his widowed 68-year-old mother. She treats him like a husband. When we became engaged, Thomas seemed afraid to tell her, and when he did, she just stared at me. His friends have joked that I will never pry him from her grip. She treats me coldly and has told friends that Thomas was perfectly happy with her until I came along. Thomas bought all the furniture and appliances in her home, does all the repair work, and pays the mort- gage, taxes and homeowners insur- ance. Mom has created ever more debt and complains constantly about not having enough money. Thomas and I rent a small house together and are struggling to make ends meet. I resent being saddled with her debts. The deed to his mother’s house is in both of their names, with right of survivorship. Thomas has a brother and sister who are always looking for a handout. Could they get the house when she dies? After we marry, would I be responsible for this house debt? Am I making a mistake by marrying Thomas? — Waiting To Hear Dear Waiting: If Thomas and his mother own the house jointly, with right of survivorship, his sib- Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar lings should not be able to get their hands on it. As for being responsible for Mom’s debt, every state is different. We recommend you talk to a lawyer about protecting yourself in advance. After all these years, Thomas and his mother have a very tight bond, and she is going to resist your efforts to change it. How that plays out is up to Thomas and the way he handles her. We also urge you to make a friend out of this lonely woman, or she will make you miserable. Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married 19 years. In all that time, she has not updated her wardrobe. She purchases a new item from time to time, and I make sure to tell her she looks great. But for the most part, she still wears things that are out of style, ill-fitting or just plain old. Worse, these clothes are not flattering. My wife is in great shape. I would love for her to have a wardrobe makeover so she looks like the classy lady she is, and not like the ‘‘Frumpelstiltskin’’ she appears to be. Money is not an issue. How can I inspire her to clothe herself according to the 21st century? — Wardrobe Malfunction Dear Wardrobe: How refresh- ing to hear from a man who actual- ly wants his wife to spend money on clothes. Many women get stuck wearing the same comfortable out- fits. Take some pictures so she can see how she actually looks, and then talk to her about it. Tell her how beautiful she is and that an update would make her feel vibrant and contemporary. Then give her a gift card to a nice boutique and arrange for a sibling or friend to go shop- ping with her. Good luck. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘M.F.,’’ the flexitarian who is wor- ried about dinner engagements at other people’s homes. What an insult to normal, mature adults who eat what is served to us. This person is 49 years old and acting like a spoiled brat. How sad. I have never had a bad meal in my life. And I have always cleaned my plate and been thankful for all my blessings. — R.W. Dear R.W.: We understand your impatience, but those with eating restrictions often find meals a chal- lenge. If someone were allergic to shellfish, for example, it would be rude to knowingly serve it as the main course. ‘‘M.F.’’ does not expect everyone to cater to his needs, but it is not unreasonable for family members and close friends to be more accommodating. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. The Oroville fight After fighting in Den- ver on March 13, I had to take a few days off to heal up. It's really brutal on the body to fight — especially at high altitude. Almost as soon as I got back into town, I got into the doctor's office to start a round of antibiotics for the bronchitis I'd devel- oped. I was hopeful that I'd be healed up in time for my fight in Oroville on March 27. Meantime, I was kicking myself for being foolish enough to take two fights so close together. I normally like to have at least a month between fights. Since I lost so much weight for the Denver fight — I got down to 117 — I was having a hard time getting back up to 125 — the agreed upon weight for the Oroville fight. At weigh ins, I had just barely made it to 122.5. My opponent weighed in at 125. On fight day, I was still only around 123 — that was with eating as much as I could. She looked like she plumped up to 135. Right there, I was missing the days when I could just cut water weight like nor- mal fighters. Dang my kidneys for failing on me last year. I was in the locker room with another fighter. We were both waiting for our fights. He was the sec- ond to last fight, and I was fighting just a few ahead of him. We were talking about the fight game, and he said that if he lost this fight, it would be his last. He had lost the last two fights and couldn't take it anymore. I told him I knew what he was talking about and mentioned my dismal record, too. He was only 23, and I told him how I was 40. I tried to tell him he was so young and had so much time to turn his record around. I tried to be encouraging, but we were both bundles of nerves. It's the worst part about fighting— waiting your turn to fight. It seems to take forever. It was finally my turn. I entered the cage, faced my opponent, the bell rang and we came out hard. I was more the striker and she, the grappler, this time. I tried to keep her at the end of my fists, and she kept tying me up against the cage. I was punching, and she was using her knees to try to kick me. We'd end up on the ground, and I'd be try- ing for arm bars. The ref would stand us up, and we'd end up on the ground again. She did not want to stand with me. I was initially told that this fight would be three three-minute rounds, which was what I had trained for. I discovered in the first round that it was a five-minute round. I was very angry. Another pro- moter screwed me again. All three rounds were pretty much the same as the first. Thank God I had Pilot safety class offered The FAA Safety Team is hosting a National Safety Stand Down day, consisting of four safety presentations at 10 a.m. on April 24. The event will be held at the Red Bluff Airport Terminal, 1760 Airport Blvd., Red Bluff. The event launches a major safety and educa- tion initiative to improve general aviation safety through interactive knowledge and skill based training, targeting the four areas producing the most aviation accidents: Loss of Control, Surface Safety, Owner Performed Maintenance and Risk Management. For information, call Irwin Fust at 351-8203 or send an e-mail to ifust@digitalpath.net. DW PLUMBING INC. Local Plumbers Serving all Your Plumbing Needs Since 1993 530 527-6403 Major Credit Cards Accepted Lic. No 679492 & Gardening 10-25% OFF MSRP HYDROPONICS Indoor Lighting ADVANCED Corning Calif. Largest Selection In Tri-County 1417 SOLANO ST., CORNING 824-1100 NOW OPEN SUNDAYS • Herbal Medicines • Edibles (Foods) • Clones 1317 Solano St. (530) 824-4811 www.tehamaherbalcollective.vpweb.com and • Payroll Open year around 1395 Montgomery Rd. • Bookkeeping Red Bluff, Ca • 527-2276 Marie Bartlett & Shirley Spence the wind to last three five- minute rounds. I felt like I did a good job. I felt like I was the more technical fighter — I punched more and had more submission attempts. I fig- ured I won. My coach and my husband also had me as win- ning. The judges gave the decision to her. I felt like I was punched in the gut right there. I wasn't angry as much as I was disappointed. I knew right then and there that I was done fight- ing. My heart couldn't handle another loss. I went back to the lock- er room to clean up. Everyone was telling me how great I did and how awesome our fight was. I gave the other fighter some words of encourage- ment before his fight. He lost his, too. He said that was his last fight. If it was just us in that locker room, we would have probably cried on each others' shoulders. But pride pre- vents you from doing that around a lot of people. It's a mixed blessing, really. I've been making the announcement to friends and family all week. I've gotten a lot of hugs — especially from my parents, who did the "happy dance" when I told them. But my coach took it hard. It was hard to tell him — felt like I was breaking up with him. I don't think he really believes it. Avery Vilche Fitness Buff My husband is calling me Brett Farve. He's heard it all before; I've retired from fighting probably eight times in our relationship — and came out of retirement just as many times. This time, though, it really feels like I'm done. My heart is not in it. It's costing more than I'm making — I only got $400 for that fight, the ring girls got $100. It was fun while it last- ed. I got to live my dream of being a professional fighter. I fought all over the county and met all kinds of wonderful peo- ple. Most important, I got out with my health in tact. I suppose I'll focus my energy on training fight- er's now — that's what old fighters do anyhow. Avery Vilche has her B.A. in physical education and a certificate in exercise physiology. She has been a fitness instructor in Red Bluff for more than 17 years. Her background is in boxing, kick boxing and wrestling. She can be reached at vilcheavery@yahoo.com. CARE TO COMMENT? At redbluffdailynews.com, scroll to the end of any story, click the link and type away. PAID POLITICAL ADVERTISEMENT ✓ ❏Re-Elect GREGG COHEN TEHAMA COUNTY DISTRICT ATTORNEY Welcomes Photographer & Western Artist Linda Rosser 40 years of “Red Bluff Round Up” Photos Plus 34 frames of Lane Frost on Red Rock Friday April • 2nd 5-7 April 10th • 10-4 April 17th • 12-3 623 Main St. 527-5180 Bartlett & Spence Patient’s neuropathy raises questions DEAR DR. GOTT: Please comment on neu- ropathy. How does one get it, what medication treats it, and is it curable? Can it be caused by a broken toe? DEAR READ- ER: Neuropathy can be defined as a disorder or disease of the nervous system. Because you provide lim- ited information, I cannot determine which form, if any, you might have. Unless your toe fracture was quite traumatic, it’s my guess it’s not likely to have resulted in neuropa- thy. Dr. Peter Gott images, can determine whether there is a herniated disk, tumor or other abnormality pre- sent. Treatment will depend on the underlying cause of the disorder that must be addressed for Autonomic neuropathy refers to damage to nerves over which we have no control, such as those of digestion, perspiration, blood pressure and heart- beat. Symptoms can include dizziness and fainting on standing (orthostatic hypotension), caused by a drop in blood pressure; gastroparesis (difficulty digesting food), causing diarrhea, constipa- tion, nausea, vomiting, heartburn, loss of appetite and bloating; exercise intolerance, during which the heart rate remains sta- ble despite the level of activity; hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) that pre- sents with palpitations, sweating, an elevated heart rate and shakiness; and diminished pupil reaction that causes problems with adjusting from light to dark. Causes include alco- holism, diabetes, chronic illnesses such as Parkin- son’s, nerve injury, atro- phy (wasting away of one or more muscle, organ or nerve), medication for IBS or overactive bladder and more. Peripheral neuropathy is the outcome of nerve damage resulting from infection, injury, toxin exposure, diabetes and high cholesterol. Other possible causes include vitamin B deficiency, alcoholism, kidney, liver or thyroid disorders, spe- cific viral or bacterial infections, HIV/AIDS, hepatitis C and more. The onset of symptoms may be gradual but includes muscle weakness or paral- ysis, sensitivity to touch, burning, tingling or sharp pain and numb extremi- ties. Testing might include blood work for thyroid, liver, kidney, glucose (sugar), cholesterol and vitamin levels. Elec- tromyography (EMG) can measure the electrical sig- nals in the peripheral nerves, and a nerve-con- duction study will mea- sure how quickly the nerves carry those electri- cal signals. A CT or MRI, noninvasive X-ray-like relief. Over-the-counter pain relievers, prescription medication and transcuta- neous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) might be appropriate. Speak with your physician to deter- mine the cause for your neuropathy and, if appro- priate, request treatment. He or she knows your medical history and can assist you better than I can. Adverse interactions between medications are common, and I can’t direct you in this regard. In the interim, foot massage will aid circula- tion, exercise should reduce the pain and help control blood-sugar levels, proper diet will ensure the ingestion of essential nutrients, and discontinu- ing alcohol and cigarettes may improve circulation. There are a number of top- ical ointments available that contain capsaicin, a warming ingredient. The effect of these ointments should improve symp- toms. Because I mention two possible causes for the condition, I am sending you copies of my Health Reports “Understanding Cholesterol” and “Dia- betes Mellitus.” Other readers who would like copies should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order for each report to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title(s) or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: Why did it take seven hours to recover from my last anesthesia when four other times it was only a couple of hours? DEAR READER: Recovery depends on the type of anesthesia received, a person’s response to it, the length of time under and what other medications, if any, might have been given. Speak to the doctor who performed the surgery for a more in-depth, personal answer. Dr. Peter Gott is a retired physician and the author of the book “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet,” available at most chain and independent bookstores, and the recently published Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook.” “Dr.